non-dieting spouse/partner

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  • sheepotato
    sheepotato Posts: 600 Member
    edited December 2014
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    My husband never has more than a few pounds to lose, and it's the same few pounds. Anytime he goes back to 'normal' he ups his beer calories and gains a bit back so he never has much to lose but it's sort of perpetual.

    Honestly, he appreciates it whenever I cook anything. If he's still hungry he will eat more, if not he's happy to have leftovers for lunch. When we go out we either share or both have leftovers, half the time he will eat my leftovers later if he's hungry. He has a smorgasbord of snacks around but I've just gotten used to having my own little stash of more reasonable things to snack on.

    He's sort of an adorable little garbage disposal, instead of looking at him as someone who can 'eat anything' I look at him as someone who can eat the things I don't want around tempting me. It's easy to try out new foods and snacks because I can leave a box of something that wasn't worth the calories to me around and he will eat it eventually.
  • JeriAnne84
    JeriAnne84 Posts: 543 Member
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    YES. ARGH! He can eat fast food twice a day and a bunch of candy, pop and other crap throughout the day and all he has is a little belly he wants to get rid of. It's hardly a belly. He always wants to go out and eat with me and I had to flat out tell him that I can't do that all the time. One meal out and there goes the majority of my calories for the day. He can't understand that I can't eat like him all the time because my body is a jerk that likes to hoard as much fat as possible. lol
  • ems212
    ems212 Posts: 135 Member
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    cottrellcottrell wrote: »
    Has anyone tried making a simple low-cal vegetable soup or broth to eat before having the "partner food"? I am hoping it will help me keep my portions smaller.

    I don't do the soup or broth, but I do drink A LOT of water before meals...usually about 2 or 3 glasses. That way, I feel full faster, but it's more water than anything.
  • numinousnymph
    numinousnymph Posts: 249 Member
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    kristimason3 wrote: »
    I am super jealous of my husbands ability to eat whatever he wants and look the way he does. We have been together since high school and never once over all these years has he lost his six pack. However, I use it as motivation. I feel like weighing less than him now is a serious victory for me after having given birth twice and going through alot of other things in the past decade that he has not endured. I win! Eat your dang tripple Decker peanut butter sandwich, shove it in your face. Want some lard with that? Jerk. Lol

    same about jealousy (and the "jerk" comment, lol! sometimes i really do feel like yelling that in his face when he's scooping about 1/4 - 1/3c of peanut butter into a bowl w/ a big banana). he is tall and thin and it's very hard for him to gain weight too. it's soo hard sometimes when he just eats a big bar of our favorite chocolate, or half a pint of ice cream, or cookies...or orders a burger with fries, or something awesome like curry or noodles at a thai restaurant. and i'm just going... :(. my calorie limit is so low that even if i eat smaller portions of any of those foods i'd still be in about 1/3, even close to 1/5 of my daily intake. ugh! it's so frustrating. i just try as hard as i can to keep my focus, keep my eyes on the prize (the prize being having the body i want!). doesn't stop me from being really irritated and/or practically drooling when he's eating that food in front of me.. and i have slipped before. but it's all part of the process... just keep strong and determined. but i'm glad to know there are other people struggling with this! makes me feel less bad for being secretly angry with him. lol.
  • NikonPal
    NikonPal Posts: 1,346 Member
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    As I wrote in another post last month

    “…I do NOT deprive my wife of her favorites. She does not have a weight problem – I do. I will buy her occasional chocolates, ice cream, pizza, chips and McDonalds etc. and have none of it myself. She has always had those things in moderation and it helps me condition myself….”

    Full comments at

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10024389/fast-food-frozen-dinners-are-tempting-but#latest

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  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
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    my boyfriend loves takeout. we have a ritual where i take one bite, decide it doesn't taste as good as i'm fantasizing it does, and ignore it without feeling like i'm missing out.
  • KGRebelRanch
    KGRebelRanch Posts: 109 Member
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    Storble wrote: »
    Just wondering if anyone struggles with trying to limit intake and eat healthy while their partner/spouse can eat anything and not gain a pound?
    My partner can literally eat anything he wants and needs to take in massive amounts of calories just to maintain a healthy weight (he has absorption issues)... Its not like he is eating bags of chips or buckets of icecream in front of me - and I know its silly but I sometimes have 'plate envy' and 'seconds envy'... It also doesn't help that he is an amazing cook... he made home made spanakopitas and eating one would be half my calories for the day so I can only look on with envy :P
    Anyone feel my pain a little?

    Hubs has a metabolic disorder and thyroid problems. I outweigh him even though he is 6' and I am 4'8".
    The thing is-I LOVE things like rice and yogurt and hot wings.
    he hates them.
    he LOVES pickles and cottage cheese and beef.
    and I HATE them.

    So diet vs non-diet isn't really an issue here. Our tastes are so different I very rarely drool while he eats, and he keeps his paws off my dark chocolate bars.
  • brightresolve
    brightresolve Posts: 1,024 Member
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    Me too! He works a physical job while I sit at my desk, he struggles to maintain weight and 5% body fat while chowing 3000 calories a day .... me, I have to stay at net 1300 to lose even a little. And he is a brilliant cook. Fortunately he makes super healthy food and thins out the fat & white carbs for me when we eat together.

    But yes, the plate envy as he eats the leftover pie without consequences while I wrestle with cravings and overindulgence for days after eating a piece - well, okay, two pieces. -- !!!!

    So yeah, I feel the pain, all of you who have posted ... and reading this made me feel less alone! Sometimes when he comes out of the bathroom, pours himself 16 ounces of chocolate soy milk and says, "I was under 147 again this morning, BEFORE I ran," I just want to growl. LOL
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
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    dopeysmelly wrote: »
    Considering my husband is male, 6' tall and always blessed with a lean body type compared to the facts that I'm female, 5'2" tall and my "real" post-weight loss body type is much smaller and leaner than either of us expected, it doesn't surprise me that I need to eat less than him.

    BUT it took both of us a LOT of mental adjustment to appreciate that. Now it doesn't bother us. He's bigger than me. If I want to eat the same quantities as him, I have to work out more.
    My spouse would never appreciate that I needed at last 2,500 calories a day for maintenance even though she's 5'3" and I'm 6'2". Add in a run that burns 1,000 calories 5 days a week and now there's a HUGE gap between what we both need. It caused quite a few heated discussions.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    Losing weight and getting fit really doesnt have anything to do with having a sidekick. It's a solo sport through and through.
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
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    My husband is 6 inches taller and 12 years younger. Despite the height difference, his current weight is within my healthy BMI range, so my goal is about 6 pounds less than his weight.

    It usually doesn't bother me too much, but last night he had a big old serving of pasta long after I was done eating for the day. And I was hungry, too, because we had stayed up too late. But I looked at my plan and decided it was easier to go to bed hungry than to forfeit something from today.

    And occasionally when I weigh out some chocolate and he sits there with the whole bag.

    Luckily, he is willing to be active *with* me most weekends. I make him carry the backpack on our hikes and he uses a row bike when we go out biking.
  • eat_hike_b33r
    eat_hike_b33r Posts: 82 Member
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    cottrellcottrell wrote: »
    I am super discouraged in this area. My partner and I are both major food lovers (to the point where we track chefs, restaurants, food trends, etc) and he worked in kitchens for a while. Since I am in grad school, he cooks more than I do, and I struggle with how to limit myself when I am getting home late at night, hungry after a long day, and he has made something amazing. Since cooking is one of his favorite things in the world, I don't want to limit him. Has anyone tried making a simple low-cal vegetable soup or broth to eat before having the "partner food"? I am hoping it will help me keep my portions smaller.

    we are both majorly into food and cooking too and I totally can relate to this!! Coming home from school to amazing food he spends loads of time making.... and there is no way he can cook another low cal version for me, esp since he has trouble keeping his weight up, he needs to eat high cal foods.
    I am slowly putting all of his recipes in to MFP and just trying to make sure my portions are about a third or quarter of his by weight... and then trying to fill up on salad if im still hungry...

    Glad I am not alone in this!!

  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
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    I'm on the opposite side of this, hard for me to hold onto weight, no health problems no matter what I eat - hubby has to watch what he eats because of his health and because he gains easily. It's hard for me too. I second guess everything because I feel bad and make two versions of some things so he has his "heart healthy" version and I have my full on regular version =/

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