Anyone else motivated by shame?

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js8181
js8181 Posts: 178 Member
in Motivation and Support
5-6 pounds ago I stopped because I thought, eh, I look fine. Then I took a break because work became really stressful and I couldn't stress about calories and that. Well, now I've got my beerbelly back and I'm suddenly super motivated to work out, eat less, etc.
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Replies

  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    Shame might motivate me in the short term--helping me actually start new habits instead of just gauzy plans to change--but it doesn't work well once I really get going. Ongoing shame is a waste of my energy and doesn't seem to fuel anything but a few beginning steps. Of course, those beginning steps are important. But looking more long-term, shedding shame and being more positive as I move forward seems to be more effective. If I continue to feel ashamed of myself, I'm not honoring the changes I'm making, and that undermines my motivation and progress. So sure, shame can get you moving, but get rid of it soon after.
  • js8181
    js8181 Posts: 178 Member
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    This is how I look now: Photoon12-1-14at1258AM_zpsb0fdb774.jpg

    And this is me a month ago:
    Photoon10-20-14at1113AM3_zpsb758ab8b.jpg

    It's just depressing...
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
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    It could be a lot worse. Just get back to what you were doing, in a month or two it'll be gone. No biggee
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    Think about where you'll be in a month, though! Visualize it and you can do it. Though trust, I really understand the feeling of depression. I've gained some weight back and it's really tough. But just keep going. You can do it!
  • Abstraktimus
    Abstraktimus Posts: 213 Member
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    We all have little things that motivate us in different ways. You may look at old pictures and think holy *kitten*, what did I do?! Personally, I'm motivated by the changes and progress I make. Firstly, I was motivated by watching fitness and motivation videos on YouTube. Now, I love pushing out another rep, a higher weight, a quicker lap, a stronger and more controlled push-up. Any progress that I make, I love. I thrive off of it and I'm addicted!!
  • ColdPlum
    ColdPlum Posts: 57 Member
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    So, try to step away from shame being the motivator, or not only will you stay in the cycle, but you'll die a lot sooner. Shame is "I'm a sh*thead because ______". Try instead, "I'm happier when I _________, so I'll do that out of care for myself." There's so much evidence on the neurotoxicity of shame, the unstable neural networks it creates for the thought patterns created though it, and even the destructive effects it has on our chromosomes! Toss the shame, cultivate compassion instead (not pity or even empathy, just a wish for the best) and you'll have a much easier time taking good care of yourself.
  • NoelFigart1
    NoelFigart1 Posts: 1,276 Member
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    Nope. I tend to find shame paralyzing and demotivating. Matter of fact, I tend to perform at optimum when I take emotion out of it entirely and just say, "I have decided to do <foo>, therefore, I need to do <foo>/1, <foo>*2, and <foo>3 to get there."

    My emotions are far too mutable over too short a time to be trusted with much. They're stupid.
  • JustinAnimal
    JustinAnimal Posts: 1,335 Member
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    I just destroyed my body over my nine-day Thanksgiving break (yeah, apparently we don't like to fund public schools). Ashamed as heck and ready to fix it!
  • SLHysell
    SLHysell Posts: 247 Member
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    Everyone is different. Find whatever motivation works for you. Shame doesn't work for me. My motivation is all about feeling physically good and about living longer and better for my family.
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    BFDeal wrote: »
    Every once in a while I feel ashamed. Then I just think, "Meh, everyone else in the world is a loser and can go die in a fire." Then I feel better. I hope this helps. YMMV.

    OP, now that I've read this. I think this is the way to go. :smile:
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
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    Heck nah, I love my food baby. I lovingly stroke it and give it little pet names.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    I never use shame. I associate it with the addiction cycle and I just don't want to go there. I like myself now, and I love reaching new goals.
  • turtlez23
    turtlez23 Posts: 156 Member
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    I guess I felt disgusted with myself...which could be shameful. Each day though, I am starting to feel better and better!
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    Shame is actually demotivating for me. It tends to make me do the opposite of what I want to do. Now, when I make progress, I get inspired and motivated to do even more!
  • jos05
    jos05 Posts: 263 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel; I almost started crying at the gym this morning...to be so close to your goal and have it all fall apart. Ugh! Just makes you want to work harder...Just keep on track and you'll be back in no time. It is crushing; but setbacks do happen to everyone!!! :smile:
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
    edited December 2014
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    js8181 wrote: »
    This is how I look now: Photoon12-1-14at1258AM_zpsb0fdb774.jpg

    And this is me a month ago:
    Photoon10-20-14at1113AM3_zpsb758ab8b.jpg

    It's just depressing...
    Hey you did it once, you can do it again, proof is in the pics! Now get busy & start feeling good about yourself and using that as motivation. See you already have an 'after' photo...some of the rest of us don't. You're already ahead of the game! ;)

    This is a good example to you and all the rest of us that's it's daily, not a one time deal.. we work hard to keep it going so we get healthy and stay healthy. No need to feel shame, you've done some major changes and you already know how to get back there. If anything it's motivation I get from your sharing, that it can be done and I have to stay focused to keep it going.

    Thanks for posting, you helped me <3
  • BeckyNaturoMommy
    BeckyNaturoMommy Posts: 187 Member
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    I'm motivated by shame. By disgust. By being angry that I can't wear whatever I want to wear. It's making me fake it til I make it, at least.
  • misscaligreen
    misscaligreen Posts: 819 Member
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    You will get back to how you looked a month ago in no time! It's very nice to see a man with hair! Men SHOULD have body hair. :) Good Luck and don't get discouraged you can totally do this and you know it because you have DONE it already! Take Care and much success to you!
  • js8181
    js8181 Posts: 178 Member
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    misscaligreen wrote: »
    You will get back to how you looked a month ago in no time! It's very nice to see a man with hair! Men SHOULD have body hair. :) Good Luck and don't get discouraged you can totally do this and you know it because you have DONE it already! Take Care and much success to you!

    Thanks! I'm Armenian, so hair sort of comes with the territory.

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