Whats your opinion on long distance relationships

Telton66

I was in one and we lived 4 hours apart. I didn`t plan in having one but distance eventually took its toll and it was too much. Neither of us was ready or willing to give up everything and move so inevitably it ended and he met someone closer.

So what`s your opinion on long distance relationship?

FabulousFantasticFifty

I think they are great as you never tire of each other, miss them more and get excited to see them! There does however, have to be Faithfulness, trust and no jealousy!

JazzFischer1989

FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »

I think they are great as you never tire of each other, miss them more and get excited to see them! There does however, have to be Faithfulness, trust and no jealousy!

Agreed. I have been in a long distance relationship for two and a half years. Not gonna lie, it's hard, lonely, and frustrating at times, and we've certainly had bumps in the road - but it's all worth it because I love him very much and couldn't see myself with anybody else.

He lives in Philly, I'm in New York. Fortunately, these are both major stops for the Amtrak train so it's not hard to get to one another. I don't mind spending every minute of the day with him when we're together because this only happens once a month, sometimes once every two months depending on how busy our lives are. We will be moving in together in the next month or two though so I am extremely happy about that.

erickirb

4 hours isn't that long distance, try 4 hour flight. I would have longed for it to be a 4 hour drive, could have seen each other every weekend.

That said I think they are great, but if they start that way, it is almost a false relationship, as you strive to make the most of all the time you do have together, whereas that would not be possible once it becomes local, if it makes it to that. It is like it remains in the honeymoon stages longer than "normal" and can come crashing down hard and fast when it finally does.

JinxRita

I've been in a long-distance relationship for very close to seven years now. We did live together for a year, but due to finances it wasn't sustainable. We're working towards living together again now, and I think we're very close to making things more permanent.

They absolutely can last! You do have to have a lot of faith and trust, and there does have to be an eventual plan to close that gap.

DawnieB1977

I think they're ok for a short while, but I suppose it depends what you want. When I first met my husband we were about an hour apart, and I did end up moving to where he lived, but as I'd met him through a good friend, I lived with her for the first 6 months. That was back in 2003. We got married in 2008 and now have 3 kids. We wouldn't have been able to do that long distance.

My sister lived in China for a few years and got married to a Chinese man, and now she's back in England doing teacher training, and goes back to China to see him maybe 3 times a year. I think her plan is to eventually get a job in an international school in a country where he can live too, but in the meantime they make long distance work.

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Telton66

erickirb wrote: »

4 hours isn't that long distance, try 4 hour flight. I would have longed for it to be a 4 hour drive, could have seen each other every weekend.

That said I think they are great, but if they start that way, it is almost a false relationship, as you strive to make the most of all the time you do have together, whereas that would not be possible once it becomes local, if it makes it to that. It is like it remains in the honeymoon stages longer than "normal" and can come crashing down hard and fast when it finally does.

LOL,well we coudnt see each other whenever we want like couples that live closer to each other and it cost more than 100 bucks to take a train to see him.Even now that I have car,it would cost allot of money on gas to drive down there regulary

JoRocka

depends on your definition of "long distance" and how long of a time are you "long distance'

Over seas for a deployment? that's long distance- but it isn't permanent- so it's manageable.
- If you're dating someone and you are perpetually apart- then it's a bit much.

I know a woman who fell in love with a guy in Canada- she lives in PA.

At some point he left his job and came to the states for 3 months (I think) - has moved back to Canada and will be going through the process of becoming a legal citizen- why- because dating a Canadian long term is a bad idea- at some point your paths have to cross for more than a few weekends.

my BF is only 2 hrs away- has an effed up schedule (Friday - Tuesday- weekend is Wed/Thur and works 3 pm- 11 pm) so we rarely talk- and when we visit it's long hours of sitting around waiting for the other to get home.

This is my closest relationship in terms of distance- and we've been dating for 4 years- with intentions of marriage and moving by next Christmas.

It's do-able- but it' shard- and takes a lot of trust and a lot of give and take.

amcook4

My husband & I were LDR for over 3 years (before we were married).

I actually think LDR helped bring us closer together, we got awesome at communication, learned to cherish our time together & we learned how to be very independent while in a relationship (no codependency here!). However, yeah, it kind of sucked sometimes almost all of my vacation time was spent traveling to him and the planning & traveling was just exhausting. We always said "if it isn't meant to be, the distance will make it clear and it won't work out" We made it through and I have since relocated to be with him. I was always okay with relocation since I wasn't connected to where I was living anyway, so we knew if we would have made it work, the distance only would have been temporary. I don't know if I could have done it much longer than the 3 years we did though

wolverine66

i think there are a number of factors that go into this. In no particular order:
1) Technology - texting, video calls, social media, etc. make it much easier to stay in communication with someone than it did 20 years ago.

2) age - i think, generally, younger people tend to put themselves in more party/bar situations which leads to them interacting with more people. The more people they interact with the more chance there is of finding another that piques their interest.

3) time - what availability does each party have do visit weekly, or every other week?

srslybritt

They suck. They're hard, and stressful, and absolutely not for the long term. I absolutely think they can work out, but it takes a lot of give and take and compromise on both sides to make it all work.

In mine, I always felt like I had two different lives. One with him, and one without him. We both had friends that didn't know about the other. Explaining it was always terrible. ("How on earth do you do it?!")

But. In the moments that we were together, it was amazing. Those looks you exchange with your S/O mean so much more and last that extra second longer, because you're taking it all in. The hugs and kisses always linger just a little bit longer, because you know it will be a while before you can easily do it again. There's a lot of excitement and anticipation and planning that goes into it. And in a lot of ways, you get to know each other better without having all of the physical interaction in the way.

All in all, yeah. They can work. They're awful and wonderful and scary and exhilarating all at the same time, but I think that can be said for falling in love in general.

Editing to add: 5-year veteran talking here, btw.

DeniceRS

srslybritt wrote: »

They suck. They're hard, and stressful, and absolutely not for the long term. I absolutely think they can work out, but it takes a lot of give and take and compromise on both sides to make it all work.

In mine, I always felt like I had two different lives. One with him, and one without him. We both had friends that didn't know about the other. Explaining it was always terrible. ("How on earth do you do it?!")

But. In the moments that we were together, it was amazing. Those looks you exchange with your S/O mean so much more and last that extra second longer, because you're taking it all in. The hugs and kisses always linger just a little bit longer, because you know it will be a while before you can easily do it again. There's a lot of excitement and anticipation and planning that goes into it. And in a lot of ways, you get to know each other better without having all of the physical interaction in the way.

All in all, yeah. They can work. They're awful and wonderful and scary and exhilarating all at the same time, but I think that can be said for falling in love in general.



Yeah...I live in the PNW and my guy lives in the Midwest....5-6 hour flight, but it's worth it! I just thank the Lord for FREE long distance!

Lasmartchika

Worked for me. Moved together after a few years of long distance. We're still together.

UticaBoy86

All for it, the further the better

meganjcallaghan

there's this fella in Scotland. Now THAT's long distance. Just have to operate with a plan in place that someone's going to move some day. Otherwise what's the point?

lemonlime006

Like someone else said, I think it depends on the situation. My husband and I are dual military, and even though we've been married for about four and a half years, we've only been in the same location for just over two years. I feel like I'm in a long distance relationship, but one that definitely works. I know he'll come home, or I'll come home, and the time apart will end. I also know that our time together will also be interrupted by training, or deployments, or field time. It works because we want it to work, and it's a lifestyle we've both chosen. It doesn't work for everybody, but I am certainly thankful for mine.

miss_jessiejane

They're for people that are too disfunctional to be in a relationship with people they live near. Or for people who have weird accent fetishes. Don't do it.

Shelgirl001

They can work, but I think it all depends on the people and their expectations. It also has to do with willingness to deal with schedules, financial situations, and communication.

I was in one for about 3 years, where he lived in Colorado, and I live in Iowa. He got tired of it, because of my inability to move or go there.

I'm in one now, where we are only about 4 hours apart, but he travels a lot for his job. Sometimes the travel is a plus, other times, it's a difficulty. Currently neither of us has expectations further than just seeing one another occasionally, but still not seeing others. It works out with our limited time available to be social. What the future holds, you just never know.
We are both in our 40's and have had our share of screwed up relationships. Maturity is necessary, as is the ability to stay true to your word.and trust.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

Well, I'm a Navy wife so you could say my relationship is long distance part-time. It's hard and it takes its toll. My husband is in the submarine force so he and I don't even speak for months at a time. I can send him emails but he can only respond occasionally. We know a lot of couples who couldn't make it work-- you definitely have to be able to trust your partner, and when he gets home there's always a bit of an adjustment. But it has upsides too. When we're together it's like being perpetual newlyweds.

I've done the other kind of long distance too. It was similar, although easier I think because there was a lot more communication.

ew_david

10 years ago, I probably couldn't do it. But then I spent the last two years of my marriage separated due to jobs and the relationship totally changed and deteriorated. I got used to being alone; so much so that all we would do was fight when we were together. So now, if the circumstances were right, I might be able to do it because it's really all I know anymore.

jgnatca

Found my husband that way. I commuted on a "3-CD" (three hour) highway every weekend for an entire winter. The long distance plan helped.

lisalsd1

My husband and I were long distance when we first started dating (about 2 hours). We were young and both in college; so we were busy during the week...but spent Fri-Sun together. We did this for 2 years, graduated, and both relocated to another state together. That was 15 years ago; so for us it worked. I think your age and flexibility are huge factors in success.

acpgee

My hubby and I did long distance for 3 years. I was commuting between London and Paris and he was in Amsterdam, so a 1 hour flight or 6-8 hours in the train. I was lucky to be making really good money at the time, so could afford to fly to Amsterdam 3 weekends a month, and he could afford to take the bus to Paris maybe once a month for a week. I was working as a fashion model, and he was an impoverished student so it was a clash of worlds too. It was hardest when the fashion business took me to New York and we were separated by a 7 hour flight.

It did help that I knew that I would be retiring from the fashion business around age 25 and could then move to Amsterdam. We've been married for 26 years now.

The most romantic long distance love story I've every heard is Luis Suarez and Sofia Balbi.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/luis-suarez-bite-wag-behind-3760066