Feeling guilty

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IsraaQ
IsraaQ Posts: 60 Member
in Motivation and Support
Today is my birthday and I celebrated it with my husband and we both enjoyed a nice outing in which we ate lots of cake my husband doesn't need to lose weight but I do and I feel so bad and guilty that I did not enjoy the rest of the evening.. I'm starting to lose hope in ever succeeding in losing the extra weight, any motivational tips out there? I feel horrible :S
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  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    Don't beat yourself up over it. It's only one day. And if you're looking to make this a lifestyle change then one day is not going to do you in. No one ever got fat by eating cake for only one day. It's what you do day to day that really matters. So just get up tomorrow and start over. And keep doing it and those good days eventually add up.
  • DvlDwnInGA
    DvlDwnInGA Posts: 368 Member
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    Don't beat yourself up. You did not gain all these extra pounds on your birthday, or a vacation, or insert whatever holiday or party you went to. Eat what you want when the day arrives, and move on. Next day get back after it and keep at it. This is a lifestyle change. Stop thinking short term. Do you honestly believe that people with great bodies never go to parties or celebrate and over eat? It is a lifestyle change, not a day to day worry fest about having bad day here or there.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    It's one day - shake it off.

    Also, happy birthday :)
  • IsraaQ
    IsraaQ Posts: 60 Member
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    Thanks a lot to both of you well it's still my birthday for just another ten minutes here in London lol
  • NoelFigart1
    NoelFigart1 Posts: 1,276 Member
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    My first motivational technique is learning to celebrate when it's time to celebrate. You don't earn that by being skinny enough. Humans get to do that because we're humans.

    Your birthday, your husband's birthday and any meaningful holidays to you should be days when you are allowed to celebrate. That might mean a piece of cake, or a Thanksgiving feast, or really great Irish coffee, whatever is traditional to you and appropriate to the holiday. Say, you got maybe ten days out of the year when you do this.

    The rest of the time, sure, you might want to be more rigorous about what you eat. But we as a society are completely screwed up if we can't feel good about cake on our birthday, for pity's sake. It's cake on your neighbor's hamster's birthday that is more the problem, ya know.
  • DvlDwnInGA
    DvlDwnInGA Posts: 368 Member
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    Happy birthday. Go have another glass of wine for me, and enjoy the rest of your night.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
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    It's one day and should be celebrated. Don't sweat it. Just log it and move on.

    And to be honest, it'll probably have very little effect on your progress.

    Happy Birthday!
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Please dont feel bad, its just food and you should have enjoyed it. Its eaten now.
    Never beat up on yourself because to lose weight you need to be in a good frame of mind to give yourself the best chance to get to target. Its your birthday enjoy it. You need to know when to relax and when to be firm. Birthdays seem like a good time to enjoy yourself.

    Ok the cake. Cream cakes and eclairs are about 250-300. Birthday cake should be about 300-450 at a rough guess.

    3500 calories =1lb, so you might gain 1lb if you ate ten eclairs or had seven slices of cake.
    The point is a single binge is unlikely to have much effect on your weight becayse you didnt eat enough. Its not worth feeling bad about.

    Just get back to dieting tomorrow. Weight loss is about consitent calorie deficits achieved through eating a bit less and moving more over time. Do that and you will succeed. Just focus on hitting your target each day and doing the best you can.
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,565 Member
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    You shouldn't feel guilty at all. Birthdays are meant for celebrations, and if you go over your goal (I'm saying by a couple hundred, not thousands) it's not a big deal. Yesterday was my mom's birthday and today was my sister-in-law's baby shower. Enjoying time with my family and celebrating these moments mean more than making sure I stop eating when I reach my calorie goal. Tomorrow is a new day to get back on your feet.
  • Aemely
    Aemely Posts: 694 Member
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    TheVirgoddess wrote: »
    It's one day - shake it off.

    Also, happy birthday :)

    Yep, this. :)

    Shake it off.
  • fat2strongbeth
    fat2strongbeth Posts: 735 Member
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    No need to feel guilty. It's just one meal.
  • gettinfitaus
    gettinfitaus Posts: 161 Member
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    u7vlpnfdb1ry.jpg
    This is what I think of when I have a bad day.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
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    NoelFigart1 wrote: »
    My first motivational technique is learning to celebrate when it's time to celebrate. You don't earn that by being skinny enough. Humans get to do that because we're humans.

    Your birthday, your husband's birthday and any meaningful holidays to you should be days when you are allowed to celebrate. That might mean a piece of cake, or a Thanksgiving feast, or really great Irish coffee, whatever is traditional to you and appropriate to the holiday. Say, you got maybe ten days out of the year when you do this.

    The rest of the time, sure, you might want to be more rigorous about what you eat. But we as a society are completely screwed up if we can't feel good about cake on our birthday, for pity's sake. It's cake on your neighbor's hamster's birthday that is more the problem, ya know.

    This. I mean our society is definitely screwed up, but you should still be able to enjoy your husband's birthday with him.
  • freesia83
    freesia83 Posts: 50 Member
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    gettinfitaus wrote: »
    u7vlpnfdb1ry.jpg

    Happy birthday, as they say it's one day, unless you let it, think positive.
    Like the pic, be handy to print and stick on the fridge.
  • Lourdesong
    Lourdesong Posts: 1,492 Member
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    On my birthday I bought a chocolate cake and ate the whole thing in 24 hours. I didn't want anything else, only cake. I have no idea how many calories it was, but it didn't do any damage. And even if it had, it was worth it.
  • IncredibleShrinkingSandy
    IncredibleShrinkingSandy Posts: 118 Member
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    You have one birthday a year and cake is delicious. You only live once. The problem with eating those kinds of foods is when you eat them just because instead of as a treat or for a special occasion you develop an unhealthy relationship with that food and don't know when to recognize when it's okay to have the cake and when we should say no. Even if you ate more than you should have, you enjoyed it and it only sets you back a day. Remember that when you get an urge or are tempted again to try and think about how good you have been prior to this temptation or reason to endulge and reward yourself once in a while. Everything in moderation. Use it as motivation to get to your next fitness goal or promise yourself you will swear off sugar for the rest if the week.
  • bwogilvie
    bwogilvie Posts: 2,130 Member
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    Like everyone else says, one festive day – your birthday – doesn't make a difference in the long run. Please don't feel guilty about celebrating.

    To succeed at weight loss – not just at losing it but at keeping it off – you need to make a lifestyle change, so that the festive days are the exception, not the rule. As long as you're doing that, you should succeed.

    One book that has very useful advice, in fact one of the few "diet" books that I would recommend at all, is Dr. Yoni Freedhoff, The Diet Fix. Its "10-day reset" is a bit gimmicky, and I don't necessarily agree with the advice to have a small, protein-rich snack between meals (though it works for some people), but otherwise it's a very wise book. If you're struggling with the lifestyle change, take a look.

    Happy belated birthday!
  • IsraaQ
    IsraaQ Posts: 60 Member
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    Wow your messages made me feel so much better you are truly amazing people thanks to each and every one of you for taking the time to drop a line.. Also for the nice words and birthday wishes.. God Bless!
  • littleburgy
    littleburgy Posts: 570 Member
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    On birthdays I always skip the gym and love the cake. I regret nothing. Daily life habits matter, but holidays are for fun. Happy birthday!
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    IsraaQ wrote: »
    Today is my birthday and I celebrated it with my husband and we both enjoyed a nice outing in which we ate lots of cake my husband doesn't need to lose weight but I do and I feel so bad and guilty that I did not enjoy the rest of the evening.. I'm starting to lose hope in ever succeeding in losing the extra weight, any motivational tips out there? I feel horrible :S

    You ate cake one day. You didn't kill someone's puppy or burn down the house. You don't need to feel horrible or guilty for eating cake sometimes.

    My 15th wedding anniversary was this week. I had a big meal and not-so-healthy dessert that day. I totally skipped exercise that day too. It was a good day. ( I did log what I estimated the meal would be and went over my calorie goal for the day.)
    I ate normally and exercised normally every other day of the week. I still lost weight this week... more than I expected actually.

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