Yo-yo dieting help :(

HM2206

I've always been a little on and off with my diet and exercise, but usually only by a tiny bit. I looked myself in the mirror this morning, after a some bad weeks, and my thighs are huge. That's where the fat goes immediately on me..
I am not BMI-wise overweight but bigger than I've been before and I just feel like I've lost control.

It might be partially the fact that I am not technically "fat" (not sure if they qualify as "vanity pounds"), that my body really doesn't want me to slim down.
I've always eaten home-cooked food, no junk. I don't have much of a sweet tooth but I love carbs. When faced with pizza or pasta, it's very hard for me to stop. I also had a much easier time slimming down when I was younger, before I'd discovered alcohol. That wine does add a lot of calories...

It's an awful feeling that I sometimes 'binge'. I'm wondering if it's partially due to the fact that I haven't been super happy these past months, and am looking for food or wine to make me feel better. I try to make up for the bad days by going super healthy, then I binge again.
I know I shouldn't be in a rush to lose weight, but I always am. I am going on a short holiday in a week where I want to feel attractive. Also Christmas is coming up. My mum is always judging my weight when I come home. Plus I know there'll be a lot of food.

I need to get out of this pattern and regain control over my body. I used to go to spin classes for some time - it's the only real effective exercise where I am being pushed and burn a lot, but now I simply don't have the money for it.

Anyone here got OUT of the fast/binge pattern and can offer some help?