Trouble accepting/jealousy
Options
Replies
-
When you're in it for long enough, you eventually learn your limits and enable yourself to control your diet better.. Lately I've calmed down in logging, and I'm still seeing the results I want..0
-
ShrinkingMuslimah wrote: »
There's no magic to this. They just don't want to eat as much, so they stay slim by default. It's not like they could truly eat anything and still somehow not put on any weight.
That's exactly what I mean. They just naturally know when to stop, and what to eat. Sometimes they choose a gigantic burger and fries because that's what they crave. Sometimes they choose a super healthy salad because that's what they crave. They don't think to themselves "well I had a burger yesterday, so I'd better have a salad today" - they just automatically crave it and listen to their bodies. Like you said, they stay slim by default that way. (and before I get more 'you don't know what they think when they order a salad' - again, yes, i do, i have asked them)
Like I said earlier though. This doesn't mean they don't have other struggles, and it doesn't mean I don't have other struggles either. That's not the topic though. And like I said again, it doesn't mean that my strugg;es or "worse" or "easier" than theirs. Everyone is different and deals with challenges differently.
If you put this much energy into your logging, it would be second nature for you. :ohwell:
It's not second nature to everyone though. For me I log daily and have for over a year, but I still have to check constantly even though I eat the exact same things and know exactly how many calories I have left over before exercise and I don't eat back any exercise calories. If I have a night where I decide to eat a pizza (like Thanksgiving, Christmas, or my birthday) then I will go into a panic trying to figure out how much I need to exercise and how many foods I can't eat so I don't go over my calorie limit.
0 -
If you put this much energy into your logging, it would be second nature for you. :ohwell:
It would be nice if that's how reality worked. Unfortunately, having conversations with people who have different eating habits than I do, and logging my food are two completely different things. Also, as I have said before, I put a LOT of my daily energy into logging.
Every person is different, thinks differently, functions differently. So for someone else to determine what would make something 'second nature' to me isn't going to be very fair or accurate.
I'm sure I'll get there eventually with my logging, but for now it takes up as much time out of my day as I'm capable of giving.0 -
loribethrice wrote: »It's not second nature to everyone though. For me I log daily and have for over a year, but I still have to check constantly even though I eat the exact same things and know exactly how many calories I have left over before exercise and I don't eat back any exercise calories. If I have a night where I decide to eat a pizza (like Thanksgiving, Christmas, or my birthday) then I will go into a panic trying to figure out how much I need to exercise and how many foods I can't eat so I don't go over my calorie limit.
Absolutely! Not everyone will get this second nature - some may but some may not. I've been logging (on and off to be honest, but more on than off) for almost 6 years. I do eat my exercise calories, but I definitely have a moment of anxiety if I overdo it too much on holidays.
0 -
TyronnePanaino wrote: »When you're in it for long enough, you eventually learn your limits and enable yourself to control your diet better.. Lately I've calmed down in logging, and I'm still seeing the results I want..
I certainly hope to get there eventually. I don't have high expectations, but it would be nice.
For now though, I'm just thankful I know my limits as far as - if i stop logging i will start gaining. Just being able to recognize that is a pretty big step for me.0 -
So don't log... *shrug*loribethrice wrote: »ShrinkingMuslimah wrote: »
There's no magic to this. They just don't want to eat as much, so they stay slim by default. It's not like they could truly eat anything and still somehow not put on any weight.
That's exactly what I mean. They just naturally know when to stop, and what to eat. Sometimes they choose a gigantic burger and fries because that's what they crave. Sometimes they choose a super healthy salad because that's what they crave. They don't think to themselves "well I had a burger yesterday, so I'd better have a salad today" - they just automatically crave it and listen to their bodies. Like you said, they stay slim by default that way. (and before I get more 'you don't know what they think when they order a salad' - again, yes, i do, i have asked them)
Like I said earlier though. This doesn't mean they don't have other struggles, and it doesn't mean I don't have other struggles either. That's not the topic though. And like I said again, it doesn't mean that my strugg;es or "worse" or "easier" than theirs. Everyone is different and deals with challenges differently.
If you put this much energy into your logging, it would be second nature for you. :ohwell:
It's not second nature to everyone though. For me I log daily and have for over a year, but I still have to check constantly even though I eat the exact same things and know exactly how many calories I have left over before exercise and I don't eat back any exercise calories. If I have a night where I decide to eat a pizza (like Thanksgiving, Christmas, or my birthday) then I will go into a panic trying to figure out how much I need to exercise and how many foods I can't eat so I don't go over my calorie limit.
Are you the OP who is wasting energy being jealous of other people? No? ok then.0 -
I don't understand how a few moments of feeling jealous is such a huge horrible waste of energy.
That's the same thing as saying "your feelings are completely invalid"
Like telling someone who is going through a rough time in their marriage "you're wasting energy feeling sad/frustrated"0 -
I think any negative feeling can be turned into a positive if dealt with the right way.
If I see something that I like but don't have, and recognize a feeling of jealousy, then *maybe* eventually I can say "OK is it realistic for me to make that as a goal for myself. If so, what steps do I need to take to get there. If not, what can I do that will give me a similar feeling of satisfaction?".
But for me... when I first recognize that feeling... sometimes I just need to see if other people have a similar feeling, and connect with them so we can help each other through that negativity and help each other turn it into a positive.
I don't see why that is considered a huge waste of time. But that's just me.0 -
If you put this much energy into your logging, it would be second nature for you. :ohwell:
It doesn't matter if it's second nature or not. I don't need to weigh my food in order to be able to eat approximately the amount of calories that I have planned, but I do need to make a conscious effort of eating right. If I just let go and not "force" my self to make good choices I'll end up on the couch every night with a bag of chips, a tub of Ben & Jerry's or a sixpack.0 -
JFC!0
-
It doesn't matter if it's second nature or not. I don't need to weigh my food in order to be able to eat approximately the amount of calories that I have planned, but I do need to make a conscious effort of eating right. If I just let go and not "force" my self to make good choices I'll end up on the couch every night with a bag of chips, a tub of Ben & Jerry's or a sixpack.
^^ this0 -
I struggled with this, too, until I read the Beck Diet Solution (which isn't really a diet). The author's take was: yes, it is unfair that you have to track while other people don't and are naturally slim. But being upset about how unfair it is won't make you lose weight. You have to live with what is. I've finally accepted that I will have to track the rest of my life, and as others on this site have mentioned, I view it kind of like balancing my checkbook/budgeting. I am not at all invalidating your feelings--I think it is actually accepting those feelings and validating them that helped me get past them. I hope you can do that, too.0
-
Most people I know count calories and watch food intake. People SAY they can eat whatever they want and not gain weight, but the ones I've met who say that really can't. If you watch them eat, they are very conscious of what they are eating. Unless you are extremely active you will have to always watch what you eat to stay in shape.0
-
A few things comes to mind:
- Everyone has something they struggle with.
- Don't compare yourself to anyone else but you. Someone else might be miles ahead of you in the nutrition department, but in some other area of life they most certainly are behind you. Did you even think this thought when you began to beat yourself up emotionally and putting impossible-to-meet expectations on yourself?
- Just because someone is slim, doesn't mean they are fit. You want fitness. If you haven't had fitness, you need to do something new to reach such a state. It will take time. Practice patience.
- This whole overwhelm of what is going to happen in ten years, sigh. We may not be here in ten years from now. We might have been killed in a car accident or caught a deadly infection or something else. Live in the moment, you have neither your past nor your future but only your present (Master Oogway, Kung Fu Panda: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.")
- Self-kindness isn't dense at all, in fact it's quite a nice concept. But if you seek out all the bad stuff or struggles or challenges, you most certainly won't reach a state of self-kindness ever. It's all in your perspective and how you choose to view life. I'm saying this one as much to OP as to the person who complained about "all the happy" people in the forums. We all have a choice and we can choose to make a list of the crap in our lives or we can choose to bring forth, to the top of our consciousness, what is good. Inevitably everyone can make a List of Doom, should they so desire, but what on earth is the point in that? What joy does such a conscious effort bring to an everyday life that is modest and, well, everyday? I find that practicing gratitude is very helpful in fighting negative thoughts. Do you feel grateful every day for something good in your life? I do. It's an active effort. Because I choose to think those thoughts.
I have neither eating disorders nor Asperger's, but I have other extremely challenging stuff going on currently. You'd be exhausted if I told you all of it. Instead I'll end with my favourite quote of all times, by Eleanor Roosevelt:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
In this case I refer to the fact that you are comparing yourself to extreme extents to others, when you should only focus on your own journey. Good luck.0 -
xsmilexforxmex wrote: »I think it's a matter of training yourself to *want* to eat healthier. I have friends who have trouble putting on weight because all they eat are veggies and chicken. Me? I crave fast food and pizza and seriously have an aversion to cooking. Last year when I lost super fast I was in a habit of cooking frequently. Now, with stress, feeling depressed, and my fiancée deployed, I find it hard to eat what I've even taken the time to cook because I want the greasy "comfort" stuff.
Maybe I'm lazy. Maybe my view of food is unhealthy... I want to eat things I enjoy and flat out: I DONT enjoy vegetables or repetition or cooking or left overs. I also DONT enjoy the way I feel after eating fast food.... but it's easier. Maybe one day I will learn to love it... until then, it's a struggle
exactly
0 -
A few things comes to mind:
- Everyone has something they struggle with.
by Eleanor Roosevelt:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
In this case I refer to the fact that you are comparing yourself to extreme extents to others, when you should only focus on your own journey. Good luck.
All of this. ^^^^0 -
ShrinkingMuslimah wrote: »
If you put this much energy into your logging, it would be second nature for you. :ohwell:
It would be nice if that's how reality worked. Unfortunately, having conversations with people who have different eating habits than I do, and logging my food are two completely different things. Also, as I have said before, I put a LOT of my daily energy into logging.
Every person is different, thinks differently, functions differently. So for someone else to determine what would make something 'second nature' to me isn't going to be very fair or accurate.
I'm sure I'll get there eventually with my logging, but for now it takes up as much time out of my day as I'm capable of giving.
how much actual time does it take you to log a days food?0 -
I used the word 'obsessed' with about 18 grains of salt. I didn't mean you had a clinical unhealthy preoccupation with someone else. I used the word casually. I was trying to encourage you to turn your attention to learning your own body and finding your own amazingness instead of comparing yourself to other people. Because that energy that is spent thinking about what they dont have to think about, could be used to think about the things you can do and will do and are destined to become.
You yourself just said that "Every person is different, thinks differently, functions differently. So for someone else to determine what would make something 'second nature' to me isn't going to be very fair or accurate."
So for you to sit and say over and over again how other people are different than you, is a bit redundant for no reason. You already know they aren't you.
When I said that, after being at this for awhile it would become second nature to you - I wasn't putting negative demands on you or expecting more of you than anyone else.
First time we brushed our own teeth we thought about it the whole time, up up up down down up down up down circle circle circle top bottom left right - now we don't. Now we just brush our teeth. Our body knows what to do. After like 4 years of counting calories, heck, now I just eyeball everything. I've trained myself well through repetition.
Constant repetitive actions eventually can go on autopilot if you put careful thought into training yourself.
Some people dont need to learn to eat healthily if they have never had to watch how they eat. So of course they dont bargain between burgers and salads - what reason have they to do this? There has never been a reason. They are not you.
And you are not them - you do have a reason to think differently. You are making changes to your entire life and you have gumption and you are willing to do what is necessary - even if that is just venting out of frustration occasionally because some things seem easier for others.
I get that. Believe me.
You said you had a hard time being consumed with jealousy over the behaviors that others can adopt but you can't. So vent a little, get it off your chest and then let it go.
PS here is why I got the impression that you were more concerned with others' thought patterns instead of your own potential.ShrinkingMuslimah wrote: »
They just naturally know when to stop, and what to eat.
Sometimes they choose a gigantic burger and fries because that's what they crave.
Sometimes they choose a super healthy salad because that's what they crave.
They don't think to themselves "well I had a burger yesterday, so I'd better have a salad today" - they just automatically crave it and listen to their bodies.
Like you said, they stay slim by default that way...
...it's not something they 'learned to do' that has become second nature to them. It's something that they really truly don't think about, don't care about. I have asked them to guestimate how many calories they have in a day and they aren't even able to guess how many calories is in an apple...
Every person is different, thinks differently, functions differently.0 -
If you put this much energy into your logging, it would be second nature for you. :ohwell:
It doesn't matter if it's second nature or not. I don't need to weigh my food in order to be able to eat approximately the amount of calories that I have planned, but I do need to make a conscious effort of eating right. If I just let go and not "force" my self to make good choices I'll end up on the couch every night with a bag of chips, a tub of Ben & Jerry's or a sixpack.
*****************
Lightweight.
0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392K Introduce Yourself
- 43.6K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 402 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 998 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions