The bigger picture

BoxerBrawler

I've been completely fired up about weight loss and nutrition for over two years. I've lost close to 100 lbs and have tried just about every nutrition plan and exercise routine out there. I have had days where I was close to 1000 calorie deficit, I nearly starved myself to hit a challenge number and I hit it. I bounced back up to a healthy weight and have maintained. I love everything about fitness and nutrition and I love pushing myself past my limits and hitting goals. The people that call me obsessed... I call lazy.

Last May my mother got very ill. I never stopped working out or eating healthy, especially when me and my siblings had to really help out my dad with taking care of her. I got on FMLA and re-arranged my work schedule and even my gym schedule to make time to care of her, be there for my dad and just spend as much time as I could with her.

My mother passed away the day before Thanksgiving. I got the call that morning at 3 AM, flew over to pick up my dad and off to hospice where she had only been for a day and a half. That very same day, I went to a 5 PM dance class and I danced my *kitten* off. No one knew. The funeral services were last week: wake on Monday and Tuesday and the burial on Wednesday. I worked out each of those days as well.

My nutrition, while not terribly bad, was not very good either. With family and friends around for a week or so there was a lot of ordering out, eating out, snacking, sweets, etc... I didn't over do it but I did eat a lot of stuff that I normally don't. I didn't bother to log for those weeks because... well... my mom died, I don't think I need to explain why I didn't log my food.

Anyway. I miss her terribly.

The bigger picture here is yeah, health and nutrition and exercise is important but there are more important things in life. At the end of the day it doesn't matter who you are or what you look like.

My and my sister had to go through all of my mothers stuff to sort out. We ended up with about 25 large bags full of clothing, shoes, etc. Some of the clothing still had tags! She didn't have much when she was growing up so she enjoyed buying anything she wanted when she got older. She was a fashionista and had beautiful things. But again... in the end, it's just stuff.

I am glad that I continued to work out daily, it truly kept me sane. Zumba... music is my medicine! Boxing... yup, a great way to get out anger. Weights... a great way to block everything out and focus.

So here I am about a week and a half since my mother passed. Re-working my work out schedule and trying some new things like open boxing (legit), and slowly getting back on track with my nutrition.

While I don't feel as if I am starting over, I am starting anew. Resetting my current weight and goal weight and working my way back to logging accurately.

Thanks for reading.

MsWendyjc

It was a pleasure to read and i am sorry for your loss, I think its great that even though your family was going through this you still had "You time" to enjoy your dancing and exercise. Not sure i would have coped as well and i certainly wouldn't have had time to log either We are all so very similar in many ways, we all want love and to enjoy life and your so right .. We can't take a thing with us but maybe dignity in knowing we have done our best and given our time to smile and care for all we cross our paths.

BoxerBrawler

Thanks for the nice reply! Yes I've certainly learned a few things like some things are not as important as we make them and two, I think it's more important to be an inspiration and a motivation to others vs. ourselves. It sure is important to do stuff for ourselves too but it's not who you are or what you have in this life, it's what you do that counts.

47Jacqueline

It's difficult to go through the death of a loved one. Your story is very moving. And its good to see you are paying attention to your needs.

My mom died last year and in spite of havine a difficult relationship, the last year and the past one after her death where both hard. I went to a bereavement group and back to therapy for 3 months for support and continued with my workouts as well. I also had some medical issues that were the result of the stress.

After 9 months I started training to be a Zumba instructor. In the last 6 months I've changed my hair style and my fashion style. There is life after death. My mom actually gave me the means to do all this stuff.

BoxerBrawler

Inspiring Jacqueline! Good for you for moving forward. I'm actually registered to become a Zumba instructor this January

oedipa_maas

You are doing so amazingly well for what you've been through. I am so sorry about your mom. One of the ways we know we are taking care of ourselves for life is if we don't hurt ourselves with food when we are in pain. Your outlook on food during this tough time, and your commitment to working out to handle your stress, is inspiring. And I needed the reminder to put it all in perspective too. Thanks for writing this post.

TropicalParaMonster

You're an amazing person. I'm sorry to hear about your mom and it's so admirable that you kept fighting through even when it happened. I lost my young cousin a little over a year ago and I was an absolute wreck. I gained so much weight and slumped into depression and only 8 months after was I able to get my life back on track. I'm a completely rejuvenated person. And reading your story today gave me a lot more hope to continue on this journey especially with my current stressors. You're awesome. thanks again!

coueswhitetail

Congratulations on keeping your health and fitness a priority during one of the most trying times a person can go through. I am sure you mom is so happy that you are doing all you can to keep your body and mind in great shape.

BoxerBrawler

Yes... everything I have inside of me that is good and strong and honest all came from my mother. When I was about 10 or 11 my mother was diagnosed with Lupus. She was the first one in my state to be diagnosed with this and they knew nothing about the disease at the time. They told her she had around five years to live if she was lucky. She not only fought tooth and nail to overcome the symptoms through the right meds, but she went way out of her way to make sure I was fully equipt to be successful in my life without a mother just in case the doctors were right. She made me totally independent... doing things for myself, thinking things out, constantly telling me I could accomplish and be anything I wanted in life. She lived for over 50 years with that initial diagnosis, got her meds regulated and managed the disease incredibly well throughout her life. All of my will power, independence and ability to work for and achieve my goals comes from her. So I know I can do this... I can get through the emotional pain without turning to food for comfort. I can keep my body and mind healthy. She would expect nothing less of me. Thanks everyone so much for the replies and support.

BoxerBrawler

oedipa_maas wrote: »

You are doing so amazingly well for what you've been through. I am so sorry about your mom. One of the ways we know we are taking care of ourselves for life is if we don't hurt ourselves with food when we are in pain. Your outlook on food during this tough time, and your commitment to working out to handle your stress, is inspiring. And I needed the reminder to put it all in perspective too. Thanks for writing this post.

You are welcome and I am glad I could help a little bit with a gentle reminder Perspective is important that's for sure.

BoxerBrawler

TropicalParaMonster wrote: »

You're an amazing person. I'm sorry to hear about your mom and it's so admirable that you kept fighting through even when it happened. I lost my young cousin a little over a year ago and I was an absolute wreck. I gained so much weight and slumped into depression and only 8 months after was I able to get my life back on track. I'm a completely rejuvenated person. And reading your story today gave me a lot more hope to continue on this journey especially with my current stressors. You're awesome. thanks again!

I'm so glad you were able to get your life back on track. I guess it comes down to asking yourself if you want to take the easy road or the hard road. The hard road is worth it everytime! Stress will come and go and really in the end it makes no sense in worrying or stressing. Things will be what they are and work out the way they are meant too no matter if we worry and stress or not.

yoovie

You are amazing

tulips_and_tea

I'm so very sorry for your loss, but the way you are carrying on your mother's legacy to you is outstanding! This is the type of post every newbie and everyone struggling needs to read. I don't mean to make light of anyone elses struggles, but when you read something like this you realize how silly some of our excuses to NOT succeed really are.

BoxerBrawler

BZAH10 wrote: »

I'm so very sorry for your loss, but the way you are carrying on your mother's legacy to you is outstanding! This is the type of post every newbie and everyone struggling needs to read. I don't mean to make light of anyone elses struggles, but when you read something like this you realize how silly some of our excuses to NOT succeed really are.

This is what I mean. Not to negate others struggles or challenges... everyone has to walk in their own shoes. But when you look at the bigger picture is it really THAT important if you go over your calories once? Is a bad day really that bad? How important is a trace calorie? It's simple really... live in the moment, exercise, eat healthy, cheat now and then and appreciate each and every day.