Anyone else struggling with body image issues after significant weight loss?

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dawn0293
dawn0293 Posts: 115 Member
in Motivation and Support
When I was obese, I thought I would look so nice without all the excess weight. I wasn't expecting my body to mimic a melting candle once the pounds really started coming off. It was a pretty big shock for me. I look fine with clothes on and compression garments in place but without them I'm a hot mess of lumpy, baggy skin. I've worked so hard to get here and yet I feel more embarrassed of my body now than I ever did when I was big. Can anyone else relate? How does one learn to come to peace with the damage they've done to their body?
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Replies

  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    I can definitely relate. But I don't feel guilt or shame about it. With those I am closest to, I entertain them by flapping my wings around and generally behaving like a sideshow freak. I think this YouTube clip is a must-see for anyone undergoing significant weight loss.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpKDteQ3FIQ

    Me, I notice his buff body hiding in the skin suit.

    My outlook may be because of my age. I'm a pretty good looking grandma, and I'm happy about that. I don't want to go backwards in time to something I wish I'd been. Besides, I enjoy my new-found mobility.

    This is me celebrating reaching under 200 pounds:
    IMG_2118-MOTION.gif
  • dawnemjh
    dawnemjh Posts: 1,465 Member
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    I can totally relate!!! To be perfectly honest, I try not to look at myself in the mirror unless I am clothed. But I like the way I look with clothes on, and I am so much healthier than I was when I was 100 lbs heavier....
    I don't know if I will ever come to peace with how I look, but I at least accept it! Maybe try to find clothes that you feel good in....
  • jamieben1824
    jamieben1824 Posts: 46 Member
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    Yes, I still do and its been almost 20 years. Luckily for me, I worked out RIGHT after the weight came off and never stopped...and I was young so my skin got tight a little easier than it wouldl had I been older. But in regards to coming to peace with yourself, you have got to look at where you came from! Not everyone has the willpower and drive, and the biggest hurdle will be keeping it off. Proven fact. You have to put your success on a mental resume of accomplishments, and now make another goal for yourself and never stop making them. People Will and DO think you are amazing even if they dont tell you. Believe it. Beauty is skin deep. Are you working out currently? That is going to be VERY helpful with your self esteem all the way around. Promise! :)
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    P.S. I heard a plastic surgeon on Doctor Radio describe the needs of patients who have lost significant weight that they need a "skin tailor" so that their skin suit matches the body underneath.
  • CatLady1309
    CatLady1309 Posts: 59
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    I can relate to this.I've lost around about 56 pounds,gained a stone back.My boobs have gone down south,I still have a pouch on my stomach.My thighs are still rather chunky too.
  • dawn0293
    dawn0293 Posts: 115 Member
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    jgnatca wrote: »
    I think this YouTube clip is a must-see for anyone undergoing significant weight loss.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpKDteQ3FIQ

    Me, I notice his buff body hiding in the skin suit.

    Funny, I watched this just the other day. He is so toned under all that skin!
    jgnatca wrote: »
    My outlook may be because of my age. I'm a pretty good looking grandma, and I'm happy about that. I don't want to go backwards in time to something I wish I'd been. Besides, I enjoy my new-found mobility.

    I hear you. I greatly enjoy the perks such as better mobility too. I feel much better being lighter and getting lots of cardio. I just wish the way I looked on the outside could match the way I feel on the inside.
  • dawn0293
    dawn0293 Posts: 115 Member
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    jgnatca wrote: »
    P.S. I heard a plastic surgeon on Doctor Radio describe the needs of patients who have lost significant weight that they need a "skin tailor" so that their skin suit matches the body underneath.

    Skin tailor? Sounds like something from out of Silence of the Lambs.
  • dawn0293
    dawn0293 Posts: 115 Member
    edited December 2014
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    jamieben1824 wrote: »
    People Will and DO think you are amazing even if they dont tell you. Believe it. Beauty is skin deep.
    Beauty is skin deep, for sure. It's just that I wouldn't mind being a little beautiful for once in my life. I was always the invisible fat girl for much of my life. I guess I am just being silly but it would have been nice.
    jamieben1824 wrote: »
    Are you working out currently? That is going to be VERY helpful with your self esteem all the way around. Promise! :)
    I am doing lots of cardio and as soon as money permits, I will be joining a good gym to start working on core strength.

  • dawn0293
    dawn0293 Posts: 115 Member
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    dawnemjh wrote: »
    But I like the way I look with clothes on, and I am so much healthier than I was when I was 100 lbs heavier....
    Same here. I like the way I look in clothes. I wouldn't be caught dead in a bathing suit though!

  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    Talk about Silence of the Lambs; I am getting educated on Fleur-De-Lis, 360 body lift, and Panniculectomy.

    *shudder*
  • dawn0293
    dawn0293 Posts: 115 Member
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    jgnatca wrote: »
    Talk about Silence of the Lambs; I am getting educated on Fleur-De-Lis, 360 body lift, and Panniculectomy.

    *shudder*

    Yeah, surgery scares me. I can't imagine how bad a person must be hurting after a 360 body lift. Yikes!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    Did you just diet and cardio or did you balance that with strength training.

    I lost a bill and thanks to strength training, i dont have the melted candle body - but i still suffer from crap body image issues because losing the weight doesn't fix that.

    What fixes that is the struggles along the way, making yourself your own ally and learning to love yourself by doing what you love.

    It's not too late to stiffen up the candle either!!!!

    Good luck!!!
  • caitconquersweight
    caitconquersweight Posts: 316 Member
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    Yep. I always thought I'd feel so much better once I lost weight. I still don't know what I'm going to look like at my goal weight (50 pounds from now). While I do have a marked increase in confidence, I didn't transform into this sexpot goddess or something. I'm still the same person. I still have the same imperfections, scars, stretch marks, whatever. I just try to focus on the long term, and that every pound lost is one less pound of visceral fat squeezing my organs.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    Well, at fifty-plus, I have conceded that gravity and time have done their work. No amount of calisthenics, sit-ups, or upside-down yoga is going to snap everything back in to place.

    But I do feel loads better! I skip down the hallways, do the dance of joy, and generally have a great time.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    eh, im almost 40. im stupid happy about what i look like now by losing weight in the weight room, but that doesnt solve self-esteem issues.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
    edited December 2014
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    I totally relate. Bat wings, stomach skin flapping around when I run or hanging there if I bend to puck up something... Just depressing sometimes. I look fine in the bathing suits with a skirt though... won't catch me dead in a bikini.

    And strength training blah blah... Didn't help me one bit.
  • BZAH10
    BZAH10 Posts: 5,709 Member
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    jgnatca wrote: »
    I can definitely relate. But I don't feel guilt or shame about it. With those I am closest to, I entertain them by flapping my wings around and generally behaving like a sideshow freak. I think this YouTube clip is a must-see for anyone undergoing significant weight loss.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpKDteQ3FIQ

    Me, I notice his buff body hiding in the skin suit.

    My outlook may be because of my age. I'm a pretty good looking grandma, and I'm happy about that. I don't want to go backwards in time to something I wish I'd been. Besides, I enjoy my new-found mobility.

    This is me celebrating reaching under 200 pounds:
    IMG_2118-MOTION.gif

    I LOVE your attitude and this picture makes me smile every time I see it. You are so refreshingly positive!
  • dawn0293
    dawn0293 Posts: 115 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    I totally relate. Bat wings, stomach skin flapping around when I run or hanging there if I bend to puck up something... Just depressing sometimes.
    Batwings? I feel like I got the whole flying squirrel thing going on, maybe I should try skydiving cause I wouldn't even need a parachute!

  • thiswillhappen
    thiswillhappen Posts: 634 Member
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    I'm 27 and I've lost 20 pounds. I have another 20 to go until my goal weight. I don't notice too much extra skin yet, maybe a bit in the underarms but that's it. I worry about having excess skin at the end of it all, but I'm not sure if it'll be a problem for me. What do you guys think, will I notice it?
  • AmigaMaria001
    AmigaMaria001 Posts: 489 Member
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    I have lots if excess skin now too and although I don't like it, it's the results of hard work and persistence.
    We all must face the consequences of our choices in life - and we made bad eating choices to the point of becoming obese - so now that we are making better choices and feel better... We still must deal with the consequences of those bad choices in life in the form of FLAB! Not lovely, but at least it can be hidden with clothes whereas FAT cannot!

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