Time is my Enemy

mrsmartinez99

When I started paying closer attention to what I am eating and when I will have time for exercising, I noticed that I never have any time for myself. I work full-time Mon-Fri 8 to 5. I have three kiddos, 8, 3, & 4 mths. Once I leave work I am rushing to the daycare to pick up the kids, make it home by 5:30 or 6, prepare and make dinner, help my son with his homework, tend to my infant and three yr old. Husband usually arrives around 7:15 or 7:30. Feed everyone. Get everyone ready for bed by 9. Start cleaning and preparing for the next day. Next thing I know it is midnight.

I noticed this morning once I got to work, that I did not even have time to log the dinner I had last night. How can I adjust my time management without sacrificing time with my family, but making time to exercise and plan healthier meals?

thegreatcanook

Is there anything you can do on the weekends to make week day meal prep simpler? Crock pot meals?

auddii

thegreatcanook wrote: »

Is there anything you can do on the weekends to make week day meal prep simpler? Crock pot meals?

Agreed. When I cook dinner, I specifically make too much and freeze individual servings for lunches. I also cook in large batches on the weekends when I have more time and freeze for during the week. I love making chicken with some mexican spices and shredding; that can be used in salads, tacos, pulled chicken sandwiches, etc.

Also, the crockpot is a huge help for trying to get dinner on the table quickly. And use your recipe builder. It takes a little while to load the recipes, but once you do, every time you use that recipe, it's a simple add to the diary.

mrsmartinez99

I may have to try that. A friend suggested that as well. To plan, prep in freezer bags, place in the deep freezer, then as the meal is cooking throw in 30 mins to hour of exercise every night. I will definitely make that a goal for this weekend to try for next week. Holidays are killing me

cwolfman13

Your husband needs to pitch in more.

kristen6350

Any chance of getting up earlier than the kids and getting a 30 minute walk in? Also, food prep on weekends helps a lot. And the crockpot will make the world of difference (just avoid the canned soup recipes, no one needs that much sodium). And I agree with "cwolfman13", if when your husband got home he could take over so you'd have time to yourself you'd both be better off. Both of you have had really long days, sharing the load will help. Good luck!

on2016

One of the benefits of bulk cooking, and/or planning the meals ahead of time, is that you also get to log the information ahead of time. I pretty much know what my meals are for the next 2 or 3 days, so I can get them logged ahead of time and only need to worry about logging the exercises and any changes to the 'planned' meals.

Might help you reclaim a little of your time, 8^).

sodakat

I have a question: was it easier to find time for yourself when you were home on maternity leave after the birth of your third child? I'm guessing it was.

Is there any way you would consider working part time? That could relieve a lot of stress and give you time for both yourself and your children.

dramaqueen45

Yeah, husband needs to help with the cooking and cleaning and also the getting everyone ready for bed thing. You can't do it all and work full time. At the very least he could take over bedtime routines while you clean up or vice versa. What is he doing during all this that you're doing? It should be a team effort.

FatFreeFrolicking

What is your husband doing while you clean and prepare for the next day?

Considering you pick up the kids from daycare, make dinner, help kids with homework, and have been with them for a solid 2 hours before your husband even gets home, he can most certainly step up and take over when he gets home. This will allow you to workout.

LeannJeffers

I also work 8-5 mon-fri and find at a schedule works best for my family of 4. I designated thursday night as my night. That is the night my husband picks up the kids from daycare and i can go straight to the gym at 5pm, afterwords if i need to get groceries or like now christmas shop i can because the whole night is for me. On the other weekdays i sneak in my workout at 5AM and that leaves my nights open for the family/kids.
Good luck, it's hard to be a mom, wife and work full-time. Scheduling an hour here and there works for me... maybe it might work for you as well.

Need2Exerc1se

Logging or 'exercising' is not required for weight loss. Why would planning a healthy meal take more time than planning an unhealthy meal?

You can burn calories through every day activities and children are a good way to stay active. Crockpot meals are a good way to save time on cooking. The internet abounds with crockpot recipes. Don't be afraid to use frozen for canned vegetables to save time. Roasting or baking food takes cooking time, but not much prep time. Just season food and pop it in the oven.

If you want to log your food, then you'll just have to take the time to do it. Maybe do it on your break or lunch. These are also good times to get in some exercise. It really does not take an elaborate plan to eat less and move more.

deluxmary2000

A couple of thoughts. I'm in a similar boat, but with 2 kids (8 yrs and 8 months) and a full-time job from 7-6 including commute.
1 - Looks like you have an hour for lunch - can you workout then? I do this 3 days a week.
2 - 3 hours seems like a REALLY LONG time to "clean and prepare for the next day". This usually takes me about an hour to 1.5 hours a night for a large house with 4 people, 2 cats, and a dog. Are you truly working that whole time? If so, you need to push some of that off to the weekends, and also get your husband to help. Looks like he gets home late, so he can't help with dinner, but he can help clean up afterwards and prep for the next day.
3 - Plan all your meals on the weekend. We have a chalkboard in the kitchen that we write the weekly menu on every Sunday night. That way you know what to defrost the night before.
4 - The 8-year old should be helping as well. Give him/her a chore board (and maybe an allowance).

mrsmartinez99

kristen6350 wrote: »

Any chance of getting up earlier than the kids and getting a 30 minute walk in? Also, food prep on weekends helps a lot. And the crockpot will make the world of difference (just avoid the canned soup recipes, no one needs that much sodium). And I agree with "cwolfman13", if when your husband got home he could take over so you'd have time to yourself you'd both be better off. Both of you have had really long days, sharing the load will help. Good luck!

I agree, I may have to sit down with him and explain what it is I am trying to do for myself. last time I expressed interest in losing weight, he kind of disregarded what I said by telling me I look great no matter my size. Never got to finish that thought.

I may make a few changes like going to sleep early and waking up earlier to get in some me time with a quick walk. I could always ask him to help get the kids ready in the morning on alternate days.

mrsmartinez99

on2016 wrote: »

One of the benefits of bulk cooking, and/or planning the meals ahead of time, is that you also get to log the information ahead of time. I pretty much know what my meals are for the next 2 or 3 days, so I can get them logged ahead of time and only need to worry about logging the exercises and any changes to the 'planned' meals.

Might help you reclaim a little of your time, 8^).

I did not even consider the benefit of logging before hand. I usually wait to make sure I actually log what I am eating, so I do not cut corners. I am my own obstacle.

mrsmartinez99

sodakat wrote: »

I have a question: was it easier to find time for yourself when you were home on maternity leave after the birth of your third child? I'm guessing it was.

Is there any way you would consider working part time? That could relieve a lot of stress and give you time for both yourself and your children.

Kind of. During maternity leave I took the time to actually look for a less stressful job. Which I found and started two weeks after I returned from maternity leave. I wish part-time was an option. I make a majority of our income, so I really have to work full-time. Maybe I should take advantage of the Wellness Center our department offers to us at no extra charge.

mrsmartinez99

I guess I should explain the situation on why it seems my husband does not help out. I am the type of person, that if I ask someone to do something I expect it to be done the way I see it. If it is not, then I take over to save myself the argument. Eventually I just do it myself, because at this point I feel I will end up fixing it anyway.

For example, if I ask my husband to prepare the diaper bag for the next day, he will do it. The next day when dropping the baby off at daycare, I will open the bag to find there are hardly any pampers, wipes are missing, and there is not an extra set of clothes. Eventually I stopped asking and started doing this myself.

As far as my 8 yr old helping out, he does have a set of chores he has to take care of. However, homework takes a majority of his time during the weekdays. The daycare has helped out by making sure he does a lot during his time there before pick-up, but he always has so much to do.

Maybe I should start writing down exactly what it is that I do every day for a week to see what I have to let go and let my husband take over. I know not many may understand this type of thinking, but it is who I am.

Phrick

mrsmartinez99 wrote: »

on2016 wrote: »

One of the benefits of bulk cooking, and/or planning the meals ahead of time, is that you also get to log the information ahead of time. I pretty much know what my meals are for the next 2 or 3 days, so I can get them logged ahead of time and only need to worry about logging the exercises and any changes to the 'planned' meals.

Might help you reclaim a little of your time, 8^).

I did not even consider the benefit of logging before hand. I usually wait to make sure I actually log what I am eating, so I do not cut corners. I am my own obstacle.

haha, I look at it in a quite different fashion: I pre-log my meal plan for the day as was mentioned, but then if it isn't in the log I just don't eat it - that is my method for "not cutting corners," try looking at it that way?

tulips_and_tea

mrsmartinez99 wrote: »

I guess I should explain the situation on why it seems my husband does not help out. I am the type of person, that if I ask someone to do something I expect it to be done the way I see it. If it is not, then I take over to save myself the argument. Eventually I just do it myself, because at this point I feel I will end up fixing it anyway.

For example, if I ask my husband to prepare the diaper bag for the next day, he will do it. The next day when dropping the baby off at daycare, I will open the bag to find there are hardly any pampers, wipes are missing, and there is not an extra set of clothes. Eventually I stopped asking and started doing this myself.

As far as my 8 yr old helping out, he does have a set of chores he has to take care of. However, homework takes a majority of his time during the weekdays. The daycare has helped out by making sure he does a lot during his time there before pick-up, but he always has so much to do.

Maybe I should start writing down exactly what it is that I do every day for a week to see what I have to let go and let my husband take over. I know not many may understand this type of thinking, but it is who I am.

I do realize how frustrating this type of thing is, but, yes, you definitely need to delegate. Let things go that you can. You cannot, nor should you, do it all. You cannot expect everything to be done exactly to your liking. Figure out what you can and can't let go of.

Also, make a permanent list of what goes in the diaper bag. Either laminate it and keep it in the bag or post it on the wall by the baby supplies. Honestly, find ways to make YOUR life easier and TAKE time for yourself. That is SO important.

kcd1961

It is in your best interests to let go of your perfectionism. You don't have to, but if you don't, this is what the rest of your life will look like. Is that what you want? Can I ask why both of you are working such ridiculous hours? Is it to pursue a certain lifestyle or is this truly low wage survival - I'm assuming you're in the US where wages and conditions for many people are horrid. Whatever the case, it sounds like somethings got to give. I just hope it's not your sanity and well-being.

bwogilvie

mrsmartinez99 wrote: »

Maybe I should start writing down exactly what it is that I do every day for a week to see what I have to let go and let my husband take over. I know not many may understand this type of thinking, but it is who I am.

That sounds like a good idea. Log your time, and identify what you're spending it on. Be honest (e.g. 25 minutes of reading MFP forums!). Then you can decide what makes the most sense.

I understand perfectionism and the related urge to do things yourself if they aren't done right. But you'll be a lot less stressed if you learn to share the work. In my experience with roommates and a spouse, I've learned a few things:

1. Sometimes other people's ways of doing things are just as good as mine, even if they're different.

2. Even if their way of doing something isn't perfect, it might still be good enough. Does it really matter whether the dishrack is arranged as efficiently as possible, as long as the dishes are clean? I write my grocery list to correspond to the physical layout of the store, so I can check things off in order. My wife writes hers in two broad categories: produce and everything else. She needs to review the list more often when she's in the store, since she has to scan the whole list for items in each section. But either way, the shopping gets done.

3. If someone else does something in a way that isn't good enough, instead of taking over the task, explain why it's problematic and go over how it needs to be done. The diaper bag is a good example. What your husband has learned is that if he doesn't do it right, he won't have to do it at all. Instead, he should learn how to do it right. If he can't remember what's involved (not everyone has a good memory for such details), a checklist would help.

Jennloella

I have 4 kids, the youngest ones are 16 months and 6 months. I work, volunteer, and go to school. I get up at 5am every day to workout before they wake. I go to bed when they do even if I want to stay up so that I get enough sleep.... youngest goes to bed at about 10 or 11

mrsmartinez99

bwogilvie wrote: »

That sounds like a good idea. Log your time, and identify what you're spending it on. Be honest (e.g. 25 minutes of reading MFP forums!). Then you can decide what makes the most sense.

I understand perfectionism and the related urge to do things yourself if they aren't done right. But you'll be a lot less stressed if you learn to share the work. In my experience with roommates and a spouse, I've learned a few things:

1. Sometimes other people's ways of doing things are just as good as mine, even if they're different.

2. Even if their way of doing something isn't perfect, it might still be good enough. Does it really matter whether the dishrack is arranged as efficiently as possible, as long as the dishes are clean? I write my grocery list to correspond to the physical layout of the store, so I can check things off in order. My wife writes hers in two broad categories: produce and everything else. She needs to review the list more often when she's in the store, since she has to scan the whole list for items in each section. But either way, the shopping gets done.

3. If someone else does something in a way that isn't good enough, instead of taking over the task, explain why it's problematic and go over how it needs to be done. The diaper bag is a good example. What your husband has learned is that if he doesn't do it right, he won't have to do it at all. Instead, he should learn how to do it right. If he can't remember what's involved (not everyone has a good memory for such details), a checklist would help.

Love your example, that is exactly how my husband and I are. And yes he does get frustrated with me and just lets me take over.

LOVE the checklist idea, never thought of that. I can do that at work. It will definitely help manage my time better and give him a way to help out. I know he wants to help, he has tried. I realize now, it is my perfectionism that gets in the way and takes over.

I do appreciate everyone's comments and suggestions. I'll keep you all posted on how it goes.