Losing weight for future pregnancy...what's the point?

qpmomma1

Feeling down. My husband and I want to try for a baby this year. I was supposed to lose my 20lbs by now. That didn't happen. So now I am wondering, what's the point? What's the point of losing weight when I will gain while pregnant anyway? This will be my 3rd pregnancy. My first was high risk and we lost the second one 2 years ago. I'm just feeling down right now.

terbusha

I'm sorry to hear about your loss and that you're having a hard time. Here's my perspective on this entire journey (as a father). It is my view that maintaining a healthy and fit lifestyle sets the correct example for my wife and children. Does that mean you have to be lean and ripped. No, but it does mean that I need to try my best to show them how to be responsible with your body. That means eating a healthy diet and exercising regularly. Doing these things over time results in a good physique as a bi-product.

Don't set time constraints on yourself. It can be incredibly frustrating when you miss your target. Just work at developing healthy behaviors, and in 5-10 years from now, they'll change your, and your families, lives for the better

csuhar

Where does the 20lb goal come from? Is it something you came up with, yourself? Is it something from a professional looking at you from just a diet / weight standpoint? Or is it from a professional who ALSO understands your intent to get pregnant?

If it's just your own goal, then you may have more flexibility. But if it's a healthcare professional making the recommendation, then I'd say you should ask them how important it is.

I must admit that, as a single guy with no kids, I'm not terribly familiar with the stresses of pregnancy on the female body. However, as someone who's gone through some really hairy times and survived cancer by the skin of my teeth, I would say that experience has taught me that, the better shape you're in before your body is subjected to heavy stress, the easier it is to get through it.

VeryKatie

I think the point is to decrease the risk of having a dangerous pregnancy as well as increasing the chances of getting pregnant. Ideally you want to have a waist of 35" or less... so that should be your goal I think.

Alluminati

If it's coming from your doc, I would imagine it's to prevent un-needed stress on your body, as pregnancy is already stressful as it is. Gestational diabetes and preeclampsia come to mind, at least from my experience at being overweight and pregnant at the same time. The healthier you are, the longer you can carry baby to term, especially if you're high risk to begin with.

beautifulciera

Pick that chin up beautiful!! A baby is precious gift to woman, and millions of women today are spending thousands of dollars just for the hope to carry that precious child you have in your arms. Weight loss can be such a trying journey, and I just ask that you keep the faith my love.. it will all work out in God's will. Just remember that you are truly blessed! Eating healthy and staying active will keep you going at your goal. Go hard until you get pregnant of course, and then when that happens..take it down a few notches, but don't get lazy ~ because then you're guaranteed to gain at least 50 pounds lol.

rbfdac

You don't give enough info, so I'm not quite sure what to tell you. Have you been trying to conceive without success, so you have determined you need to lose weight to do so? Or are you planning to get pregnant and know you need to lose weight so you don't become even more overweight while pregnant?

I'm not sure what your reason is, but if your doctor has suggested losing 20 pounds, then I suggest you do that. If not, and you have decided to lose weight on your own before becoming pregnant, I think that's a personal decision. It's obviously harder to be pregnant when you're already overweight, so "the point" of losing the 20 before pregnancy when you're "just going to gain it back" is that the 20 you gain during pregnancy is not fat. It is water, extra blood volume, the baby, the placenta, extra fat in your stomach to support the pregnancy, etc. I was 300 lbs when I became pregnant and got up to 345 before I delivered. I had a very normal pregnancy, but did get hypertension at the end and had to deliver my son 3 weeks early. Additionally, that last month attempting to get around was HORRIFIC. Although pregnancy is tough on every woman, it's definitely tougher with extra weight.

If you're still in a normal BMI range without losing the 20 pounds and you just don't want to lose the 20 pounds, then don't. You won't be able to lose it if in your mind you just think "what's the point, I'm just going to gain it back anyway".

Again, this is about all I can say with the little information you have given. Good luck with everything. I hope you are able to conceive your third child.

kailibertsch

I wanted to do that too before my last pregnancy. I wanted to lose 15, didn't, got pregnant and gained 45 pounds. Don't stress about it, don't get down. I know in my case my mind was way more focused on babies and getting pregnant than about those stupid 15 pounds. After baby, I can focus more clearly on my weight loss goals. Feel free to add me if you want someone to talk to!

qpmomma1

Thank you for the replies.

Yes, my OB wants me to lose weight before trying again. He wants me to be the healthiest I can be to give my body a good head start. We haven't been trying yet, but we want to start this year. I think it's my insecurities and self doubt. My mind is telling me this is impossible and I can't do it. Then I am telling myself if I can't lose the weight we can't have another baby. I think I am just putting too much pressure on myself.

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Holly_Roman_Empire

I had these exact same feelings after I had my first child. I knew I was going to have a second baby at some point, so I didn't really feel like getting fit only to get big again. I got fit anyway and lost the baby weight, and now here I am pregnant again.

One thing I can tell you is that a fit pregnancy goes a lot easier than one that isn't. I'm not quite as out of breath as I was the first time, and I sleep a lot better too. Thanks to my strength training, my back pain isn't nearly as awful as it was the first time. Pregnancy isn't easy, but it's much more tolerable when you're fit. I'm hoping the recovery is much better this time too.

So I suggest you focus on that instead of the weight. Focus on getting fit so your pregnancy isn't as hard as it has to be.

ETA: I'm not sure how fitness or weight loss would play into your pregnancy as far as miscarriages go, but that would be something to discuss with your doctor or endocrinologist if you're receiving fertility treatments. The above is just my personal experience.

Slasher09

I'm sorry about your loss. We are also going to be trying this year (getting married march 28, going to try after the wedding) for baby #2. I have been trying to lose the last 5-8lbs that I never lost from baby #1 (had him July 2013), and a lot of people ask why I am trying to lose weight if I'm just going to get pregnant. I agree with your OB...I didn't take great care of myself like I could have. I let fatigue and braxton hicks be what kept me from ever being active (and I'm suspicious that my low water consumption could have helped that) and I let the fact that my appetite was very poor from week 6-38 be an excuse to only eat chocolate and mcdonalds (at least 50% of my diet was mcgriddles, chocolate bars, chocolate muffins, chocolate frosty, hot chocolate....some days that was my only consumption) and I couldn't hold down my prenatal so I just stopped taking it.

I gained 48lbs (went from 147-195) and discovered a month after the baby that a good 25-30lbs of that weight gain was just from splurging and probably unrelated to baby/fluids/etc. I was in such poor physical shape, I had very little endurance, I was sore for a good week after delivery (my muscles, not....umm other places) and it took almost a full 9 months to even be out of my maternity clothing. I also had a lot of nutritional deficiencies by the end.

This time I want to be different. I want to be in the habit of staying active and eating better for a few months ahead of time so I can push through and really fight to have a healthy pregnancy. I don't need to look like a pregnancy model and I'm not trying to only gain 10 pounds or something that would be ridiculous for my current size, but I would like to only gain 30-35lbs, not nearly 50 next time around and I'd like to preserve some muscle mass (I looked so toneless and flabby after he was born).

Don't let your mind hold you back, and it may be easier to get the "20lbs" out of your head right now. Focus on making the best choice for the "new baby" and the mom that needs to be in good shape to be the best caregiver she can be. Just focus on planning some wholesome meals that provide you with the nutrients that you need and aim to get some sort of activity in for 30mins 4-5x a day...even if all that is is walking, its still a better workout than nothing.Don't look at this goal as some sort of mountain you can't climb...just look at the pound ahead of you. One pound at a time. One day at a time. One workout at a time. One meal at a time.

Feel free to add me as a friend if you would like!

tulips_and_tea

Good advice has been given already. I will note that you aren't doomed to gain excess weight just because you get pregnant. Most excess weight gain is from excess eating. Think about how tiny a baby is and the size of their stomach. Do you really have to "eat for 2?" No. You increase the quality of your food, not your quantity unless you are carrying multiples. You can absolutely be fit and active during pregnancy.

Best to be fit and active now so that you have a strong, healthy pregnancy and bounce back much quicker. Believe me, if you put for the effort NOW you will thank yourself later!

kyta32

My best advice would be to try to find motivation in the things you are doing to lose weight. Find motivation in your workouts - be proud every time you increase your lifts, improve your form, get through cardio going harder, and having more flexibility and endurance. Get your partner on board, and take a class together. Something you enjoy, like dancing. Play Just Dance with your kid in the living room, or dance to a Youtube playlist. Being active has a lot of benefits on top of weight loss. It helped my IBS, it might help yours. Spend some time on the boards, giving support, finding information, or just giggling at how silly some of them get. Look up recipes you've always wanted to try, and see how they fit into your macros. Fine-tune your existing weight loss recipes, and enjoy the self-care aspect of eating a delicious and healthy meal. I've enjoyed my home cooking more than my eating out lately, not due to calorie stress, but because the meals are tailored to my taste.

Pregnancy weight is temporary. I mean, I lost 20 pounds in the first week each time after having my daughters. Taking off any extra pregnancy fat will take far less time than the 9 months it took to put it on, especially if you are nursing.

While you diet you will be learning things about yourself, nutrition, and activity that are going to help keep you and your family healthier for years to come. None of this is wasted.

If you are really feeling stressed and down, look in your community for places where you can talk it out, or get a referral from your Dr. Emotional stress can be harder on you than extra weight. Look at workouts that keep your mind focussed and allow you to mentally take a break from your life (I first found this with yoga, but now find I can focus on form in most of my workouts). These little vacations will help everything else stay in line.

Weight loss is absolutely something you can do. Regular logging will make a big difference. Best of luck

kar328

I'm a Labor and Delivery nurse - don't have kids - so here's my two cents. A lot of patients are overweight, or morbidly obese (we recently had two in the 400 lb range). You don't have to be "thin" but it does cut down your chances of the most common complications - gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. Being a diabetic in pregnancy leads to a high chance of being on later in life (I think it's something close to 50% but not sure how old my stats are). Having to take insulin and test your blood sugar multiple times a day cannot be fun. Diabetic moms tend to have larger babies which can lead to complications in the delivery as well as newborns with low blood sugar that require interventions.

Preeclampsia is elevated blood pressures, protein spilling in the urine, edema, headaches, liver enzymes out of whack and kidney issues. It usually requires total bedrest at home, and/or hospitalization for weeks, often with an IV magnesium sulfate infusion to prevent seizures. The only cure is delivery, which if it's early on and the mom is sick enough, leads to a premature baby.

Sorry for the scary words, but I take this part of my job seriously and hate seeing it happen so much. Being in better shape than you are now can only be a benefit. If you don't lose 20, fine, but if you lose some and eat better, then you can only help both yourself and your baby. And be in better shape later to take care of two children.

Good luck and if you're not already, taking folic acid now helps reduce the risk of several defects.

qpmomma1

Thank you all for the support. Sometimes I just need a little push to get started in the right direction.

jmxxiiii

While pregnancy can create complications, being overweight can create complications with even getting pregnant! I am losing weight for a future child some day, my PCOS is out of control and it is completely linked to my carb and sugar addiction.

kailibertsch

If 20 pounds seem like too much to tackle right now. Start with 5. Once you get started and see results it will only motivate you further!

Lizzy622

It is about being the healthiest you can be and not about 20 pounds. I can tell you my first 2 pregnancies went much easier because I was fit and ready. My third was much harder since I was not fit. Don't worry about the scale as much as how you feel.

texasmom2013

qpmomma1 wrote: »

Feeling down. My husband and I want to try for a baby this year. I was supposed to lose my 20lbs by now. That didn't happen. So now I am wondering, what's the point? What's the point of losing weight when I will gain while pregnant anyway? This will be my 3rd pregnancy. My first was high risk and we lost the second one 2 years ago. I'm just feeling down right now.

The point is to help your baby! I was overweight, pregnant, and I gestational diabetes. It is dangerous for you and your baby when you're overweight. I was miserable and sick all the time. If you are already in shape when you get pregnant it will be easier to get back in shape when you're not. If you need motivation just look at that lady volleyball Olympiad who was pregnant while she was competing! No one even knew about it until after the Olympics were over. I know you're depressed and there's nothing worse than losing a child. The more healthy you are the better chance your baby's going to have and you really want to be the best mom you can be! No one wants to be that overweight mom that can't even play with her kids. They deserve the best that you can be. My cousin was very depressed and had several miscarriages. She had given up all hope of having a child...then she got pregnant and had two beautiful twin girl babies! It took me 10 years to have my first one. There's always hope. You survived the loss of a child. You CAN do this. You have to believe in yourself.

kinkyslinky16

I lost 62 lbs and then accidentally got pregnant. I also had a miscarriage during my second pregnancy, but have had a successful third pregnancy and due end of February. I wasn't planning it but it happened. Try not focusing on getting pregnant and just improving your health. Once you've got the basics down, you can work on preventing weight gain in pregnancy. I'm 30 weeks now and only 20 lbs up. It's possible!

jasmineruth

I'm planning on trying sometime at the end of next year. If I achieve my health goals this year, I could healthily end my next pregnancy close to my current weight. I'm also increasing my activity level. Last pregnancy I was lightly active and used my pregnancy as an excuse to over eat. Well I did have a decently healthy pregnancy as far as my baby was concerned and a good labour and delivery, I ended up gaining about 20 lb of just fat. This time I hope to go in to the pregnancy with a better fitness level and a healthier attitude towards food so that I can be in better shape after pregnancy and have more energy and stamina to care for a toddler and an infant. I think pregnancy and a healthy body should go hand in hand. Maybe you won't lose all of the weight that you would like before getting pregnant but if you get some healthy habits in place you can have an easier pregnancy and bounce back easier afterwards.

Vanilla_Lattes

Its good to lose extra weight, because most weight you gain from pregnancy is from over doing it on food. You can prevent the immense gain next time and have an easier time getting back to a pre pregnancy weight.

JoRocka

so instead of being healthy you'd rather just get more fat?

Good luck with your kids with that attitude. Seriously. Living life and weight isn't all about all or nothing-it's about trying to be better than you were yesterday. With that defeatest attitude you're already setting up for failure.