my wife read online that people get fit to look good in bed for others outside the relationship ouch

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  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    Take your wife's computer away.
  • smittybuilt19
    smittybuilt19 Posts: 955 Member
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    My wife had her concerns when I decided to start tracking and losing but she's very self conscious. I think once she realized I wasn't going anywhere, she laid off.

    I do want to look good for my wife, but mostly I want to look in the mirror and like what I see. Vain, and I don't give a single Shhht.
  • smittybuilt19
    smittybuilt19 Posts: 955 Member
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    ryanhorn wrote: »
    I'm a graduate student actually doing quite a bit of research on similar topics at the moment.

    While fitness level and perceived attractiveness (by self and others) may be correlated, one does not necessarily cause the other. In short, correlation does not always equal causation.

    How long have you been a member here? At 71 posts I assume not long?

    Either way, some of your replies I've seen have been on point!
  • SomeNights246
    SomeNights246 Posts: 807 Member
    edited January 2015
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    LouisaM162 wrote: »
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    The only people whose opinions I care about base their opinions of me based on other attributes besides my physicality and I don't give a shlt about what the others think. My only critic is myself.

    Now that would be a state worth achieving.

    Not if you're like me and yourself is a jerk. B)


    I think that it could be a case for some, but as another poster has said: Correlation does not imply causation. Indeed. I am the furthest thing from interested in any physical relationship, yet I desire to be fit. I don't give a rat's behind whether I attract someone or not. They can keep looking, because it won't get them anywhere. I probably won't even notice them looking, as oblivious as I am. (Unless they're being jerks about looking, then I'd notice... and wish they'd stop)
  • artemis222
    artemis222 Posts: 390 Member
    edited January 2015
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    If she's even bringing an article like that up, it seems to me that she may be either harboring existing concerns about the relationship or is self conscious of her own body. One who doesn't like themselves sometimes has a hard time being with someone "better" than they are because they're always worried they are going to leave and find someone of the same level.

    If there's no reason she should be worried about your faithfulness, make sure she knows it.

    Maybe try to get her to work out WITH you. That way you can take care of her possible insecurities on both fronts.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    edited January 2015
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    my wife read online that people get fit to look good in bed for others outside the relationship ouch

    How can I know you love me unless you get adult onset diabetes from eating too much for me? Healthy living is for cheaters. I want you to be so out of breath you can't get an erection for another woman without passing out from high blood pressure.
  • CooperSprings
    CooperSprings Posts: 754 Member
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    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    my wife read online that people get fit to look good in bed for others outside the relationship ouch
    I want you to be so out of breath you can't get an erection for another woman without passing out from high blood pressure.

    This should not have made me laugh quite as hard as it did. :D

  • blueeyesgrace
    blueeyesgrace Posts: 407 Member
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    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    my wife read online that people get fit to look good in bed for others outside the relationship ouch

    How can I know you love me unless you get adult onset diabetes from eating too much for me? Healthy living is for cheaters. I want you to be so out of breath you can't get an erection for another woman without passing out from high blood pressure.

    All true! And they do have medications these days to help with those medical conditions. So, no need to attempt to be healthy when all can be covered up with meds, right? And yes, I laughed quite hard, too :)
  • ryanhorn
    ryanhorn Posts: 355 Member
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    smittybuilt19 wrote: »
    ryanhorn wrote: »
    I'm a graduate student actually doing quite a bit of research on similar topics at the moment.

    While fitness level and perceived attractiveness (by self and others) may be correlated, one does not necessarily cause the other. In short, correlation does not always equal causation.

    How long have you been a member here? At 71 posts I assume not long?

    Either way, some of your replies I've seen have been on point!

    Thanks man! I've been using MyFitnessPal and creeping on the forums since about 2011. I just started posting a few weeks ago though! I might disappear again though because my opinions especially when it comes to nutrition don't seem like they're always the most popular around here. Haha.
  • blueeyesgrace
    blueeyesgrace Posts: 407 Member
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    ryanhorn wrote: »
    smittybuilt19 wrote: »
    ryanhorn wrote: »
    I'm a graduate student actually doing quite a bit of research on similar topics at the moment.

    While fitness level and perceived attractiveness (by self and others) may be correlated, one does not necessarily cause the other. In short, correlation does not always equal causation.

    How long have you been a member here? At 71 posts I assume not long?

    Either way, some of your replies I've seen have been on point!

    Thanks man! I've been using MyFitnessPal and creeping on the forums since about 2011. I just started posting a few weeks ago though! I might disappear again though because my opinions especially when it comes to nutrition don't seem like they're always the most popular around here. Haha.

    Opinions are exactly that. Opinions. You don't see me backing down from any of the opinions I've posted? Even if the opinion or idea helps one person - it was worth it. Keep being you!
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    0cedb467c7d2281cca1b8de1304596c0.jpg
  • LouLouStBijou
    LouLouStBijou Posts: 987 Member
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    I wish my partner would do the work that I do in order to maintain what he enjoys when he looks at me. I love him regardless of what he looks like and I am very happily "committed" but it would be nice (and this may make me very shallow or callous) if he would try to look better for me. I know he would never do it in order to attract anyone else but he might want to do it to keep me coming over to his side of the bed from time to time.
  • notyouraveragetexan
    notyouraveragetexan Posts: 19
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    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    my wife read online that people get fit to look good in bed for others outside the relationship ouch

    How can I know you love me unless you get adult onset diabetes from eating too much for me? Healthy living is for cheaters. I want you to be so out of breath you can't get an erection for another woman without passing out from high blood pressure.

    ...go on...
  • ryanhorn
    ryanhorn Posts: 355 Member
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    blueeyesgrace wrote: »
    ryanhorn wrote: »
    smittybuilt19 wrote: »
    ryanhorn wrote: »
    I'm a graduate student actually doing quite a bit of research on similar topics at the moment.

    While fitness level and perceived attractiveness (by self and others) may be correlated, one does not necessarily cause the other. In short, correlation does not always equal causation.

    How long have you been a member here? At 71 posts I assume not long?

    Either way, some of your replies I've seen have been on point!

    Thanks man! I've been using MyFitnessPal and creeping on the forums since about 2011. I just started posting a few weeks ago though! I might disappear again though because my opinions especially when it comes to nutrition don't seem like they're always the most popular around here. Haha.

    Opinions are exactly that. Opinions. You don't see me backing down from any of the opinions I've posted? Even if the opinion or idea helps one person - it was worth it. Keep being you!

    You rock. Thank you for this :)
  • _Tink_
    _Tink_ Posts: 3,845 Member
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    I read a lot of things online. It doesn't mean that I believe everything that I read, or that things I read are applicable to my personal situation.
  • mumblemagic
    mumblemagic Posts: 1,090 Member
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    Tell your wife you want to get fit and in shape so you can look sexy for her, like 《insert name of her celebrity crush here》. Also because you will be spending the rest of your life with her and you want to make sure it's more than 10 years! I.e. you want to make sure you don't die young of some entirely preventable disease, leaving her all alone.

    Personally I'm doing it because of the health benefits and because being overweight gave me low self esteem. I am best at work and in my relationship (and in bed ;) ) when my self esteem is high so losing weight and getting fit has helped both.
  • gettinfitaus
    gettinfitaus Posts: 161 Member
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    http://www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/dating-marriage/11-signs-that-he-might-be-having-an-affair-107288

    Your wife has read one of a billion articles similar to this one. The very first point is "changing appearance".

    This thread opened up a discussion with my husband who said he was reading one of these articles the other day and apparently I match 8 out of 12 "signs" including suddenly being determined to go workout. Good thing he knows that my eyes don't wander. We had a laugh about it and moved on. Perhaps you need to be paying her a little more attention to assuage her feelings.
  • Kevalicious99
    Kevalicious99 Posts: 1,131 Member
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    I get fit to be fit .. that is a great thing. The looking good in bed, that is just a side bonus of being fit.
  • Jojomotivated
    Jojomotivated Posts: 141 Member
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    I MAINLY changed my fitness habits for myself, but it would be nice to be able to approach the opposite sex and feel attractive.
  • Sinistrous
    Sinistrous Posts: 5,589 Member
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    randomtai wrote: »
    This thread:

    Funny-Facepalm-GIF.gif

    Yup.


    People get in shape for their own reasons and all are different.
    Me.. I hate the jiggle, truth. DO NOT WANT. Plus, I like feeling stronger + stronger legs = less knee pain and/or foot pain. Win.

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