One of my teenagers is a thief!
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Yes. My sister was a klepto.
I superglued all of her stuff together. She stopped stealing my stuff.
Do something to them that you'd know they hate.0 -
Check them into drug rehab...0
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lol, it seems that no matter what I do to the child she just keeps stealing, She stole a Samsung galaxy from my sister and deleted all of her stuff.... Pictures are not replaceable...
I almost want to call the police...0 -
Drug rehab for thievery?0
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First off, have you confronted your child about his/her stealing?
Secondly… What are they stealing? Is it money? If yes, I would be concerned as to why they are stealing money rather than asking. I have friends who have siblings who stole money from their parents… to pay for their drug addiction. Not trying to make you worry nor am I assuming it's to pay for drugs (just covering all possible scenarios) but if that is the case with your child, you need to find out so that you can get him/her the help they need.
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FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »First off, have you confronted your child about his/her stealing?
Secondly… What are they stealing? Is it money? If yes, I would be concerned as to why they are stealing money rather than asking. I have friends who have siblings who stole money from their parents… to pay for their drug addiction. Not trying to make you worry nor am I assuming it's to pay for drugs (just covering all possible scenarios) but if that is the case with your child, you need to find out so that you can get him/her the help they need.
I have talked to her and also drug tested her, she steals electronics and make up0 -
FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »First off, have you confronted your child about his/her stealing?
Secondly… What are they stealing? Is it money? If yes, I would be concerned as to why they are stealing money rather than asking. I have friends who have siblings who stole money from their parents… to pay for their drug addiction. Not trying to make you worry nor am I assuming it's to pay for drugs (just covering all possible scenarios) but if that is the case with your child, you need to find out so that you can get him/her the help they need.
I have talked to her and also drug tested her, she steals electronics and make up
Drug tests came back clean, yes?
Is it possible that she is stealing electronics and selling them for money?
Stealing makeup is strange… I'm not sure why she wouldn't just ask you for money to purchase her own or pay for her own (not sure how old she is and if she has a job or not).
Did she tell you why she is stealing?
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FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »First off, have you confronted your child about his/her stealing?
Secondly… What are they stealing? Is it money? If yes, I would be concerned as to why they are stealing money rather than asking. I have friends who have siblings who stole money from their parents… to pay for their drug addiction. Not trying to make you worry nor am I assuming it's to pay for drugs (just covering all possible scenarios) but if that is the case with your child, you need to find out so that you can get him/her the help they need.
I have talked to her and also drug tested her, she steals electronics and make up
Drug tests came back clean, yes?
Is it possible that she is stealing electronics and selling them for money?
Stealing makeup is strange… I'm not sure why she wouldn't just ask you for money to purchase her own or pay for her own (not sure how old she is and if she has a job or not).
Did she tell you why she is stealing?
It came back clean yes, the thing is everything the girl steals I would buy her if she asks. She doesn't even use the stuff she is stealing she hides it because she is afraid to get caught. She steals phones and i pods. I am at a loss because she genuinely seems sorry when I call her out. Do you think counseling would help?0 -
Please come to my town and be my best friend...I have twinkiesSinistrous wrote: »
Lol she is adorable and hilarious so bring me with you.....0 -
FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »First off, have you confronted your child about his/her stealing?
Secondly… What are they stealing? Is it money? If yes, I would be concerned as to why they are stealing money rather than asking. I have friends who have siblings who stole money from their parents… to pay for their drug addiction. Not trying to make you worry nor am I assuming it's to pay for drugs (just covering all possible scenarios) but if that is the case with your child, you need to find out so that you can get him/her the help they need.
I have talked to her and also drug tested her, she steals electronics and make up
Drug tests came back clean, yes?
Is it possible that she is stealing electronics and selling them for money?
Stealing makeup is strange… I'm not sure why she wouldn't just ask you for money to purchase her own or pay for her own (not sure how old she is and if she has a job or not).
Did she tell you why she is stealing?
Stealing makeup might be a peer pressure thing? Did she start a new school recently or change groups of friends?
If she's stealing she might also lying to you about something, if you've drug tested her it could be a self esteem/fitting in problem or some sort of insecurity. Since she's getting caught, it could just be a cry for attention or help.
I would do what you can to learn more about any sort of changes she's experienced. Can you see her social media pages?0 -
sheepotato wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »First off, have you confronted your child about his/her stealing?
Secondly… What are they stealing? Is it money? If yes, I would be concerned as to why they are stealing money rather than asking. I have friends who have siblings who stole money from their parents… to pay for their drug addiction. Not trying to make you worry nor am I assuming it's to pay for drugs (just covering all possible scenarios) but if that is the case with your child, you need to find out so that you can get him/her the help they need.
I have talked to her and also drug tested her, she steals electronics and make up
Drug tests came back clean, yes?
Is it possible that she is stealing electronics and selling them for money?
Stealing makeup is strange… I'm not sure why she wouldn't just ask you for money to purchase her own or pay for her own (not sure how old she is and if she has a job or not).
Did she tell you why she is stealing?
Stealing makeup might be a peer pressure thing? Did she start a new school recently or change groups of friends?
If she's stealing she might also lying to you about something, if you've drug tested her it could be a self esteem/fitting in problem or some sort of insecurity. Since she's getting caught, it could just be a cry for attention or help.
Agreed but when I try to talk to her all she does is scream0 -
lol, it seems that no matter what I do to the child she just keeps stealing, She stole a Samsung galaxy from my sister and deleted all of her stuff.... Pictures are not replaceable...
I almost want to call the police...
I was a well rounded child, so I have no personal experience in this...what I"ll offer is some stuff I've picked up over the years based on daytime television and what I've randomly seen online.
1.) Have you taken away everything from her? Electronics, luxuries, ect. If she is going to steal, then she does not get a phone, she does not get an allowance, she does not get access to a computer, ect. If necessary, change the Wifi password to something only you and your hubby know.
2.) How have the conversations gone with the child so far? Have you addressed the thefts, and why she is doing them? Is it a cry for attention? Or, could it be a deeper issue that would better be addressed in therapy? This is what you need to find out.
3.) There needs to be consequences, and they need to happen now. She's going to potentially steal from the wrong person/entity one day, and it won't be on a juvenile record that is expunged/wiped clean at 18. I have an extended family member who is a habitual stealer (likes writing bad checks and has stolen from people close to them), and it honestly does not get better. Juvenile Hall could also happen, and she will not enjoy that.
4.) Has she returned these items? If not, she needs to do that, and be held accountable for her actions.
(Edited because one question was answered while I was typing this out).0 -
When I take her phone she steals someone elses....... she does not do drugs. I do have consequences like I said they don't work and I do make her return the items. I have 5 kids and have never had this issue before....
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sheepotato wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »First off, have you confronted your child about his/her stealing?
Secondly… What are they stealing? Is it money? If yes, I would be concerned as to why they are stealing money rather than asking. I have friends who have siblings who stole money from their parents… to pay for their drug addiction. Not trying to make you worry nor am I assuming it's to pay for drugs (just covering all possible scenarios) but if that is the case with your child, you need to find out so that you can get him/her the help they need.
I have talked to her and also drug tested her, she steals electronics and make up
Drug tests came back clean, yes?
Is it possible that she is stealing electronics and selling them for money?
Stealing makeup is strange… I'm not sure why she wouldn't just ask you for money to purchase her own or pay for her own (not sure how old she is and if she has a job or not).
Did she tell you why she is stealing?
Stealing makeup might be a peer pressure thing? Did she start a new school recently or change groups of friends?
If she's stealing she might also lying to you about something, if you've drug tested her it could be a self esteem/fitting in problem or some sort of insecurity. Since she's getting caught, it could just be a cry for attention or help.
Agreed but when I try to talk to her all she does is scream
This is one thing I can relate to; I did talk back/scream every now and then.
Unfortunately, hormones and being a teenager make this a given for just about any conversation about accountability or addressing behavior in a teen.
One thing I can recommend is keep at it. She can scream all she wants, and it may exhaust you, but she needs to learn her place and that is to listen to you. The conversation still needs to happen, and it will happen, no matter how much she screams and yells while you try to hold that conversation with her.
Also, seconding the revocation of all of her luxuries and whatnot. If she is not going to have a productive conversation with you, she can have her room stripped of every luxury until this is solved.0 -
She doesn't even have a door on her room now....0
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Agreed but when I try to talk to her all she does is scream
Is she a good kid otherwise? If she's suddenly moody then it could just be hormones or a rebellion phase.
I just saw the door comment, she could be doing it as a push back to a loss of privileges. It's still a good sign for your relationship with her that she's getting caught. If she was trying harder to hide her behavior she would be further gone.
If you are getting nowhere it may be time to do some family counseling, see if she opens up to someone else if she won't talk to you about it.0 -
When I take her phone she steals someone elses....... she does not do drugs. I do have consequences like I said they don't work and I do make her return the items. I have 5 kids and have never had this issue before....
Then she should be punished, and her behavior should not be tolerated for the sake of the other 4 children as well.
If she is going to steal someone else's phone, I would recommend password protecting every phone so she does not have access to them. Stealing is not an appropriate reaction to being punished.
I really feel for you in this situation, and I really commend you for coming on here to try to get some advice and guidance for solving this!0 -
FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »First off, have you confronted your child about his/her stealing?
Secondly… What are they stealing? Is it money? If yes, I would be concerned as to why they are stealing money rather than asking. I have friends who have siblings who stole money from their parents… to pay for their drug addiction. Not trying to make you worry nor am I assuming it's to pay for drugs (just covering all possible scenarios) but if that is the case with your child, you need to find out so that you can get him/her the help they need.
I have talked to her and also drug tested her, she steals electronics and make up
Drug tests came back clean, yes?
Is it possible that she is stealing electronics and selling them for money?
Stealing makeup is strange… I'm not sure why she wouldn't just ask you for money to purchase her own or pay for her own (not sure how old she is and if she has a job or not).
Did she tell you why she is stealing?
It came back clean yes, the thing is everything the girl steals I would buy her if she asks. She doesn't even use the stuff she is stealing she hides it because she is afraid to get caught. She steals phones and i pods. I am at a loss because she genuinely seems sorry when I call her out. Do you think counseling would help?
The fact that she hides the stuff because she is afraid of getting caught tells me she knows what she is doing is wrong and feels remorseful.
I do think counseling is the way to go at this point. Since drugs have been ruled out, I am thinking there may be a deeper, emotional reason for why she steals.
Teens steal for a number of reasons… feeling unloved/unwanted, feel as if they gets no attention, jealous of things their siblings have, feels like an outsider among siblings, steals to gain peer acceptance... some even get an adrenaline rush from stealing.
Do you currently give her any kind of punishment after she steals?0 -
She has always been pretty independent but she is kind and funny0
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I'm pretty young, 23, but my advice? I'd get the police involved. Stealing is a pretty serious matter and she either needs professional help because there is something wrong with her, or she needs to be scared straight.
Once, my mom was working at a preschool where a four or five year old stole her (my mom's pen). My mom was very clear in telling this girl that taking something that doesn't belong to her is stealing. It just happened that, on the same day, a police officer was there to visit the preschool. It was just a coincidence, but it was enough to prove a point to the little girl.
Theft is a crime.0 -
honestly it sounds like she needs therapy and attention0
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Is she the middle child? Nah, just joking.
It seems weird that she is stealing stuff for no apparent reason. Perhaps it's just an attention seeking thing? It would be rather annoying, I hope you find a solution. I don't want my kids to grow up
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I love how people assume I am not punishing her for her stealing. The thing is all of us hang out and talk all the time. We seem to have a good family connection we talk. She gets very angry and mean when I bring up the stealing. She does get punished and she does get caught. I am a responsible parent. I check my kids messages and phones and make sure they are making good choices.
The punishments I have given her just are not working! Right now she is grounded from all electronics including her phone and has no door on her room.
It's almost like she is in jail already.....
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I agree I think this is what she needs and perhaps some different friendssalembambi wrote: »honestly it sounds like she needs therapy and attention
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I'd steal stupid things as a teenager just for the rush. Cheap jewelry from a teen store in the mall, lipsticks from my aunt's house, perfume from a friend's mom. Nothing I ever even wanted or desired. I was a sh*tty kid though in a sh*tty situation. It was just acting out.
You mentioned you have five kids. Is she getting enough individual time? Looks like she's stealing things to fill time with. Maybe have a mom-and-me day every so often.
Also, when I went thru my little klepto phase I remember my mom would shake me down as soon as I came in the door. Pat down, bag check, empty pockets. Super embarrassing, especially if I had someone with me. But it was pretty effective.0 -
Corporal punishment.0
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I had one who was caught shoplifting at the local grocery. Stupid stuff-- toiletries I would have gotten if she'd asked. Never got a straight answer out of WHY she was doing it.
Luckily the store didn't press charges. (Having an 8-month pregnant mama show up in hysterical tears chewing out the thieving child may have helped. I think they were afraid I'd have the baby then and there.) Daughter was under **house arrest** when she got home. She went nowhere except school and straight back home, driven both ways. I informed the school teachers that supervised the activities she was in (newspaper and drama) why she was being pulled out of their program immediately.
House arrest continued for a few months. She was eventually paroled when she completed a lengthy writing assignment my husband and I assigned. We are Catholic so we assigned her HARD challenging reading from the Catechism and Thomas Aquinas. She had to discuss in her paper matters pertaining to theft, dishonesty, pride, and I forget what else. (I figured while we had her, we would address *all* the issues that had been bubbling for a while.)
She hated us while we were doing it.
She has since turned things around unbelievably. Straight A college student majoring in (don't laugh) CRIMINAL JUSTICE, because she wants to catch bad guys and put them away.
She was also in therapy at the time. I can't recommend enough finding a good counselor that a troubled teen can talk to-- even if the trouble is entirely of their own making, they need help from someone NOT MOM OR DAD who can help them look at what's going on and figure out how to make better decisions.
I hope this helps. Don't be down on yourself-- this is not a reflection of your parenting.0
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