I think I know what's holding me back

pavingnewpaths

Right now, I weight 190 lbs. When I first started my journey, I was around

There was one point in time where I dropped to about 159. When I was around that weight, I felt like absolutely nothing had changed -- despite finally being in what was considered a healthy and average weight range for my height. Finally at a place where you wouldn't look at me and say that I was overweight. I didn't see that, though. Even my mother would make comments about how I didn't look like I'd lost much weight, or how other people we knew looked skinnier at a similar weight. No one in my family ever commented on the amount of weight I'd lost, but everyone did when I gained the weight back. I never realized how much weight I'd lost or how different I looked until I gained the weight back.

Now I'm back at square one and just dreading losing weight and simply ending up feeling like I had back then.

Is this an issue for anyone else? Could it have been a matter of just needing to be patient so that there was a mental change to accompany the physical one?

melbmeg

Here's the thing: are you doing this to be healthy or look different?

I would still lose weight even if I looked the same because it will reduce my risk for all kinds of disease, including cancer. And I want to live a long and healthy life. Looking better is just a bonus. Being slimmer doesn't make life that much better unless you're into sport or fashion (or you've been so overweight that it has severely impacted your life). I've been a healthy weight before - it's not that exciting. The thrill of not being fat fades after a while, the compliments stop and life feels pretty much as it did before. And because the loss is gradual, you never get a terribly dramatic "wow, I'm beautiful" reveal like on a makeover TVs show!

If your motivation is just vanity, that may not be enough to sustain you on what is a difficult and lifelong 'journey', especially if you're not getting very helpful feedback from those around you. Maybe you could reframe why you're doing this? For example, I think of being a healthy weight as an act of self-care and an obligation to the people who love me.

I have seen research that indicates that people who lose weight for health reasons are more successful than those who do it for vanity, so that's something to think about too.

Good luck. Don't be discouraged. There are a lot of reasons to look after yourself.

palwithme

I am trying to "turn off' what people are saying about my weight loss. *Most* people mean well - some are just a-holes on purpose. I completely agree with you the weight loss is as much if not more a mental journey as a physical journey. Keep up the good work.

bwogilvie

It usually takes 25-30 pounds lost for people to notice any change at all, especially people who see you every day. When I had gone from 215 to 190, people started to ask whether I had lost some weight. It wasn't until I was down to around 170 - 45 pounds lost - that people said I looked like I had lost a lot of weight.

It does take a while to wrap your brain around being thinner. I'm still a bit surprised when I get into a coach seat in an airplane and realize that I have a fair amount of room (excluding legroom).