Ruining Christmas. You're welcome.
I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.
II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second.
This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second -- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional Reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional Reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" Reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second crates enormous air resistance -- this would heat up the Reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of Reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the Reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire Reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.
V. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.
II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second.
This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second -- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional Reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional Reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" Reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second crates enormous air resistance -- this would heat up the Reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of Reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the Reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire Reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.
V. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.
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Replies
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Don't you know it's all Christmas magic? Logic/science has nothing to do with it
Plus, Santa comes whether you're good or bad -- trust me, I know
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Cute. Wheres your source?0
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RebeccaSpencer wrote: »Don't you know it's all Christmas magic? Logic/science has nothing to do with it
That's the kind of talk that started a little thing called, "The Dark Ages".
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what he was here last night and i don't even have a chimney so you must be wrong op0
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michael1976_ca wrote: »what he was here last night and i don't even have a chimney so you must be wrong op
That, sir, was a burglar.0 -
michael1976_ca wrote: »what he was here last night and i don't even have a chimney so you must be wrong op
That, sir, was a burglar.
A reverse burglar?0 -
Leaving a "present" as a distractionary tactic so you don't notice what's gone missing. It's basic misdirection.
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Here you go, feel better?
Santa Claus:
A Scientific Perspective
(source unknown)
Index: Atheism and Awareness
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<=== Santa is my friend
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bwahahahaha!0
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Hey, if it makes you feel any better, we -may- lose wikipedia lol.0
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That's odd. It claims Santa only visits christian homes. Lots of atheists (and other non-christians) celebrate christmas and do the Santa thing.
Here you go, feel better?
Santa Claus:
A Scientific Perspective
(source unknown)
Index: Atheism and Awareness
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I bet you this is exactly how he explained it to his kids when he had to break it to them that Santa isn't real to some poor non-believers....0
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Lol...I don't care where it is posted or where it came from. I thought it was funny. The professor needed sources - there it is.0
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This made me laugh 0
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Lol...I don't care where it is posted or where it came from. I thought it was funny. The professor needed sources - there it is.
Because you can't just take the intellectual property of someone else. Term paper or not, you should always credit your source. Its the non-douche thing to do.
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Lol...I don't care where it is posted or where it came from. I thought it was funny. The professor needed sources - there it is.
Because you can't just take the intellectual property of someone else. Term paper or not, you should always credit your source. Its the non-douche thing to do.
They didn't claim it was theirs, nothing was taken. Go eat your Christmas dinner and smile.0 -
Sinistrous wrote: »Lol...I don't care where it is posted or where it came from. I thought it was funny. The professor needed sources - there it is.
Because you can't just take the intellectual property of someone else. Term paper or not, you should always credit your source. Its the non-douche thing to do.
They didn't claim it was theirs, nothing was taken. Go eat your Christmas dinner and smile.
Already eaten. But they didn't give credit which is the problem.
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Already eaten. But they didn't give credit which is the problem.
They don't HAVE TO, you see. You want to try to boss people into doing what you want them to do, start up a business. This is a social forum where people can and will say what they want. If they don't follow the rules they agreed to upon their usage of forums, a moderator will do their job and let them know they messed up. It is not your job to come and try to do so. :3
Merry Christmas.0 -
This content has been removed.
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Lol...I don't care where it is posted or where it came from. I thought it was funny. The professor needed sources - there it is.
Because you can't just take the intellectual property of someone else. Term paper or not, you should always credit your source. Its the non-douche thing to do.
SMH...hahaha, some kids. At least some of you get it - this is for entertainment. Smile, buttercup - it's the non-douche thing to do, (603Reader, MFP Message Board, 2014).
Cheers folks. Hope you all had a great holiday!0 -
Gawd...See what ya started RF? lmao. smh.0
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I know right? I only feel bad it took me so long to post again - I was too busy pirating movies off the internet and stealing other bands' lyrics to check back in a timely manner...0
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Magic....
I'm not even Christian and Santa came to my house...
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Well, you gotta do what you gotta do to save a few dollars.
BTW ~ I hope you make some decent money off the lyrics then maybe you can quit your job!
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I'll be sure to site my sources when I'm inducted into the Rock Hall of Fame0
This discussion has been closed.
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