Favorite Joke?

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thomaszabel
thomaszabel Posts: 203 Member
in Chit-Chat
Headline in newspaper:
Toilet Stolen From Local Cop Station.
Police Investigators Say They Have Nothing To Go On.

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  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
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    A pope and a lawyer die at the same time. St. Peter says I'll give you both the tour and show you where you will live in eternity. They step up to a mansion and he says to the lawyer this is your eternal home. There is a phone on the wall with a direct line to God. Just let him know if you need anything.
    To the Pope he says "follow me". Shows him to a small hut in the woods. If you should ever need anything please submit in writing and we will consider it at the next management meeting.
    The Pope says: I don't understand, I was a leader of the Christian world. I live here. That man was a lawyer and he lives better than me.
    St. Peter replies: To tell the truth, we already have quite a few Popes, and we've never seen a lawyer before.
  • markiend
    markiend Posts: 461 Member
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    2 old ladies sitting talking on a park bench, see a streaker run past them , One had a stroke, the other couldn't reach
  • Sinistrous
    Sinistrous Posts: 5,589 Member
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    789
  • ssmkgp
    ssmkgp Posts: 1,425
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    Your boyfriend stayed very late last night, didn't he?"
    "Yes, mother, did the noise disturb you?"
    "No, but the periods of silence did."
  • kangakev
    kangakev Posts: 2,430 Member
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    A plane is boarding passengers for a flight to New York, but boarding is being delayed by a young blonde lady who has taken a seat in first class, and she will not move to economy where she is supposed to be. The air hostess has pleaded with her, but she will not move...so the air hostess goes to the captain to explain the situation. The captain walks back to the blonde, whispers in her ear. The blonde gets a look of horror on her face and races back to the economy class seating. "Captain that was fantastic the way you got her to move. What did you say to her?" asks the air hostess.
    The captain smiles and says " I told her only the back half of the plane was going to New York"
  • EZDUZIT68
    EZDUZIT68 Posts: 1,168 Member
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    A blast from the past:
    What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband before she left for space?
    "You feed the children, I'll feed the fish."

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