Struggling With Loss(es) During The Holidays

Miss_1999

I know the holidays can be a time of joy and excitement for many, as this time of year always has been for me. But for so many, it can be a painful reminder of loved ones they've lost- due to death or divorce/separation. For others, they may have lost their jobs due to lay offs, strikes, company downsizing, or other factors. Being unemployed is hard enough as it is, but at the holidays, it's especially hard. All of these things can cause or trigger us to go back to what we know for comfort-- to fall into old habits, or turn back to the addictions that have been the only coping mechanism we've ever known to get through.

I know. My addictions of choice are shopping and smoking. I was SO proud of myself. I'd quit smoking for the first time (other than when I was pregnant/nursing) in August. Hadn't touched a cigarette or even wanted one. Until I suffered one loss after another in a short time span of a week. Overwhelmed with grief, I turned to my old friend, only this time, my beloved Marlboro Lights Menthol weren't strong enough, so I picked up a pack of Newports. I needed a LOT of nicotine. Needless to say, I'm not proud of myself. I'm not sleeping, nor am I eating. I'm barely functioning. It's not healthy, and I know it.

I know for others, they will do the opposite, they will turn to the foods that bring them comfort, and eat until they can eat no more. We cope the only way we know how, and it's hard. Life doesn't give you instructions on how to deal with grieve or grieving.

I guess the whole point of me writing this, is simply to let others know, if you're out there, if you've fallen off the wagon this holiday season, if you're grieving, struggling with a loss, or hurting-- you aren't alone. I'm in pain, too. Right now, the burden feels as if it's going to crush me, but I know it won't. It won't crush us. We will overcome it. We need to feel our emotions, we need to get through, but no matter what, you are not alone.

(For those wanting to know what's been going on- here is a link to my story: myfitnesspal.com/blog/Miss_1999 )