Ponderings

icandoit

Thought some of these were funny

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

icandoit

Thought some of these were funny

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

banks1850

Aren't these Steven Wright sayings?

icandoit

Aren't these Steven Wright sayings?

I don't know, they were sent to me. I will see if I can find out.

icandoit

Aren't these Steven Wright sayings?

I don't know, they were sent to me. I will see if I can find out.

She said no name was given
she got them from
www.ahajokes.com/funny_thoughts.html

ligytha

The answers to your questions

Thought some of these were funny

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
The extra noise can be distracting to some people.

If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?
The mirror is curved to give a wider angle of view. The curve makes distance seem distorted (longer in this case).

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
Because you don't speak Greek?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
Hydrogen, Oxygen, and a catalyst

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
The TV is actually a set of components, not one object.

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Run in this case is intransitive relating to the emission of mucus or puss. Smell in this case is also intransitive, meaning to emit an odour.

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
"Go off" is an idiom meaning something that began quickly.

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
They are from different Latin root words. Con as in against is from contra. The con in congress is from the Latin word for with (which will probably be censored by the forums, but is see you em)

Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
Cleave as in to adhere closely is from the Old High German klebén whereas cleave as in to seperate is from the Old Norse kljūfa.

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
To sit down is to be seated in a chair, usually from a standing position. To sit up is to correct your posture while seated.

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
This is biologically impossible.

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
First they sandblast the pan to create a lot of microscratches on its surface. Then they spray on a coat of Teflon primer. This primer, like most primers, is thin, enabling it to flow into the the micro-scratches. The primed surface is then baked at high heat, causing the Teflon to solidify and get a reasonably secure mechanical grip. Next you spray on a finish coat and bake that. (The Teflon finish coat will stick to the Teflon primer coat just fine.) (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_173.html)

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
The cat would scratch you. A lot.

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Well, with today's understanding of physics, you cannot go the speed of light. Let us assume you are going close to the speed of light. Anyways, you will observe the light from your headlights going the speed of light from your reference point. This is a core idea of relativity and has been tested by experiment.

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
It is not uncommon to find "open other side" on packages. Some packages need to be opened at certain temperatures of humidity levels.

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
The key-pads are mass-manufactured for all ATMs. You can also walk up to a drive-through ATM.

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
These are Americanisms.

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
It describes the state while not being in the state itself.

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
A car can have cargo and a ship can carry shipments.

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
The "indestructable" material happens to be stainless steel, titanium, and a thermal insulator. Which they already make parts of the plane out of.

icandoit

WOW ligytha.
That was great:flowerforyou:

banks1850

LOL, talk about taking something literally. That's too funny.

cmriverside

ligy,

Do you have a degree in ATUTK?