Can't stop obsessively overeating

nickelpickle

I have recently come to the realization that I need to get help for my overeating. I have struggled with it for a very long time - going through a series of yo-yo diets which overall have only helped me to GAIN weight.

All I think about is food - what I'm going to eat, and when I'm going to eat it. And when I am eating, I'm just thinking about what I can eat next, and how long I'll have to wait in order to not seem food crazed. I eat WAY more than anyone I know - including my husband. It has taken over my life and I feel like I'm neglecting everything because I can't stop being preoccupied with food.

I really don't even know why I over eat. I haven't been able to pinpoint any sort of emotion that causes me to eat. Sometimes I wonder if I do it just because I love to eat - and I admit, I truly do.

I live my life feeling ashamed. Each time I succumb to food temptation I feel that my confidence plummets more and more.

I feel out of control. The only thing I want to do is stop being obsessed with food. I don't even care if I lose weight. I just want to MOVE ON and live my life!

Does anyone relate?

DianePK

I totally relate. I'm a comfort and emotional eater. I find tracking everything helps so I can be aware of how much I am eating, and in the diary just summarising what I am feeling before I think about bingeing. I also find that finding a positive obsession, such as exercise replaces the food obsession. That's what works for me when I let myself go as I have this past 2 years. I'll send a friend request and we can work together if you like.

nickelpickle

Thank you so much for replying Diane. I feel so desperate and I don't know if you realize how much it means to have someone relate.

I haven't been logging in MyFitnessPal. Despite the fact that it absolutely is the only thing that gets me to restrict my eating, I felt logging my food was increasing my food obsession - as I was obsessing about macro ratios, logging every single thing, etc. I yearn to live a life where I can not think about food and just make the most healthy choice available whenever I start feeling hungry.

Do you think that's even a possibility for us?

beamer0821

you are me

read Breaking Free from emotional/complusive eating by Geneen Roth. its a short read and a game changer.
don't let the title scare you off. she writes incredibly on the subject.

no false promises there is work involved and you must be ready. but its honestly the key to long term success without all this struggle.

and its a start but it gets your brain working in the right direction

999tigger

I was expecting you to be 300lb person by the way you describe yourself, was surprised.

nickelpickle

Thank you beamer, I just ordered the book from Amazon! I so appreciate your reply. Did you talk to a therapist at all or go to OA? I am not quite sure what I should be doing, or if I can "fix" this on my own.

tigger, thank you. I am terrified of becoming 300lbs. I do know that my metabolism is fast, but I am still quite overweight.

beamer0821

@nickelpickle therapist has helped me.

there is an exquisitely good reason you are overeating. you just need to find out why and its not because you love cake so much.

the struggle is the worst. hang in there..just keep self reflecting observing.

i also notice for me the need/want to overeat or make poor food choices could be from something from a few days earlier maybe an argument or something upsetting. like a delayed reaction. the more you tune into the easier it is to overcome. and i find its easier to be proactive about your stress levels than wait until you want to dive head first into a cake then its a little late to do "self care". for me staying ahead of things is better.

i could go on and on. good luck!

nickelpickle

I am trying to seek out a therapist - unfortunately my health insurance doesn't cover mental health so I'm having to pay out of pocket which is difficult.

I just can't wait to get all of this straightened out in my head so that I can live my life! Do you feel that you live normally now that you've spoken to a therapist? Or do you still obsess?

sofaking6

Has it always been like that for you? You are pretty light and very active, and I see also vegan - I have to wonder about your nutrition overall? Is it possible that you are missing some critical vitamins or minerals that your body is crying out for? I think that therapy is a great idea, and I bet you will find some great help there, but I would also really encourage you to track your food and exercise very closely for a little while and then bring your reports to a doctor and see what they say about your physical health.

nickelpickle

I have my blood checked every year at my physical and my doctor always says my numbers are 100% spot on. I have been vegetarian for a long time and vegan for a couple of years, and have always had this problem, even as a child, so I know it's not diet related.

sofaking6

nickelpickle wrote: »

I have my blood checked every year at my physical and my doctor always says my numbers are 100% spot on. I have been vegetarian for a long time and vegan for a couple of years, and have always had this problem, even as a child, so I know it's not diet related.

Fair enough

SoDamnHungry

nickelpickle wrote: »

I have my blood checked every year at my physical and my doctor always says my numbers are 100% spot on. I have been vegetarian for a long time and vegan for a couple of years, and have always had this problem, even as a child, so I know it's not diet related.

But it could be diet related. See if you have a really balanced diet and maybe you'll notice there's some nutrients your body craves because you're missing them.

However, bets are you probably just love to eat. I do, too. My numbers are good and I'm a healthy weight, but everyone is always shocked at how much I love food. It's all I think about, and it looks like there are many kindred spirits in this thread.

Try to find other things to focus on, and maybe try to get quality food and make high quality meals and snacks than just stuffing in whatever you see (even though junk food is amaaaaaaazing!).

nickelpickle

Thanks everyone so much for your comments!

@SoDamnHungry‌ (ha! Love the name) - the thing is, I only feast on healthy food. I do consider myself to be a "health nut", so I always surround myself with healthy foods. I do allow myself to indulge in junk food at parties, but I truly prefer healthy food like beans, crackers/hummus, veggie soups, etc. I am weird.

So it would be shocking to me if I had some sort of deficiency. I think I just love to eat, haha!

silentKayak

You look great and are a normal weight. My recommendation is to log your intake and exercise. If you like food, then focus on strength training (to build/retain muscle) and cardio exercise (to stay within your maintenance calorie zone). You probably crave food because you have high energy needs. Don't worry too much about macros since it sounds like you eat a good balance of healthy food with high protein and fiber.

DancingMoosie

I have these feelings of being food obsessed, as well. I find that having a very structured day helps me a lot. When I am at work, everything is scheduled at a certain time, down to meals and snacks. I do better then. When on vacation or holiday, or even just weekends, that is when things go off track. Does planning your day ahead help at all? You also have your calorie goal set rather low. That may exacerbate the issue.

nickelpickle

Thank you all.

In the past, I've found the only way around the "what ELSE can I eat?" thoughts was tracking my food - but that only replaced those thoughts with "what ELSE can I eat that's within my calorie budget?"... so it really wasn't an improvement overall.

What I most yearn for isn't weight loss (although that would be nice) - at this point it's just being free from the constant thoughts about food.

nickelpickle

PS I am at least 10lbs heavier than my profile says - I just realized I hadn't updated that in a very long time!

mariaoutlook

I think it's more common than we think but most don't realised and admit they have a problem.

I understand an eating disorder therapist is expensive but there are plenty of information and help on the internet. For example, the Weight-control Information Network has lots of free resources you can use.

Definitely, to speak with a forum member who was in the same situation and can understand how do you feel, might help you more than any therapist.

Best of luck!

sodakat

I want to touch on something you mentioned in your OP. How you just want to be skinny once, before you have kids. I'm curious; what do you think will be different after having kids as far as your weight goes? Is the weight control thing something you think you won't worry about once you've had children? I can't figure out what you mean.

999tigger

Do what are your stats, age, height and weight? The reason I ask is becayse its a different kettle of fish if we are answering questions to someone who is nearly a normal weight compared with someone who is a massive overeater and out of control.

I am not doubting you feel how you feel, but when compared with reality, then it it more in your mind as opposed to you being this massively overweight and growing human hoover?

Lets say you are 10lb overweight or 10lb heavier than your profile.

My reaction would be big deal get some perspective and you can soon shift that by delivering a consistent defict. It will not take long and then as long as you are sensible and track your food, then you can still eat well.

From what you say it runs more to the pyschological though and being able to see a professional would be helpful but you explained why you cant. The next best thing is to contact a charity or support group, who often have the expertise and knowledge you will be looking for.

Have heard good things about overeaters anonymous on these forums.
http://www.oawmass.org/wordpress/

You might also want to investigate whether its just a type of obsessive disorder and food just happens to be the thing? Thats a slightly different angle.
http://www.eatingdisorderfoundation.org/EatingDisorders.htm

Read the sites, contact them and see if they understand what you are talking about. Its not my area, but I know how to find information. Charities dont normally charge anything. If its having such a serious effect on your life, then you owe it to yourself to find out who might understand and be able to help. Keep asking the questions until your needs are met. Good luck.

CynthiasChoice

I could have written your opening post! This advice may or may not be for you, but here goes: Have you ever tried eliminating table sugar and white flour from your diet? Some people get relief from obsessively thinking about food when they abstain from sugar and flour. I'm one of those people, and for me, the quality of my life is so dramatically better when I'm not battling cravings or giving into them. A dessert free life is the price tag for me, but it's worth it.