Am I doomed to be overwight forever? Why am I not normal

2

Replies

  • ksy1969
    ksy1969 Posts: 700 Member
    OP, as another said, if you really are not ready to lose weight, nothing will work. I am sorry, but 90% of a diet is mental. It does not matter what program you decide to go with, it will not work if you do not have the right frame of mind. I am not saying though to quit trying. One of these times everything might just click. :D
    gianna729 wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    kiera1995 wrote: »
    It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.

    Eat what you want, as long as you remain in your calorie deficit. I eat ice cream, chocolate, fast food, and pizza all the time, and I've lost 55 pounds in a year.

    Oh heck no! What you eat does matter! Sure a person can lose weight on these foods but at the cost of good health. Even skinny people can have heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune responses and a myriad of other health problems related to poor diet.

    I cringe every time someone in the FitnessPal community posts that all you need to do is take in fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. That may be true but the goal is good health and a lower weight is just one component of good health.

    @gianna729 You take those posts too literal. Anyone that has had success and stuck with it does not only eat pizza, ice cream and chocolate cake. They also never suggest that. It is people like you that give rise to that idea by reading only small portion of the post. If you actually follow what they are saying you would see that they say you can still enjoy those foods, just keep them within your caloric intake, but most of your diet should be made up of whole foods that are freshly prepared.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
    edited January 2015
    gianna729 wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    kiera1995 wrote: »
    It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.

    Eat what you want, as long as you remain in your calorie deficit. I eat ice cream, chocolate, fast food, and pizza all the time, and I've lost 55 pounds in a year.

    Oh heck no! What you eat does matter! Sure a person can lose weight on these foods but at the cost of good health. Even skinny people can have heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune responses and a myriad of other health problems related to poor diet.

    I cringe every time someone in the FitnessPal community posts that all you need to do is take in fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. That may be true but the goal is good health and a lower weight is just one component of good health.

    Although you bumped this thread, I just have to respond. Eating "junk food" in moderation isn't going to kill you any more than eating only "healthy" or "clean" will completely immunize you from potentially getting sick or having high blood pressure or having diabetes, etc. One food item is not "bad" in and of itself, but within the entire context of a diet. If ALL you eat is pizza and ice cream and fries? Yes, you will be malnourished and feel crappy. If you eat a few slices of pizza on Sunday, a bowl of ice cream on Monday, a few pieces of chocolate on Tuesday, and then maybe you eat a fast food order over the course of a few days (or in one day, depends on what your macro and calorie goals are), then you are not going to kill yourself.

    Good health, then, is easily accomplished when still eating "bad" food.
    gianna729 wrote: »
    Drop the notion of "cheat days". When skinny people eat dessert they aren't "cheating", just eating dessert. Focus on eating healthy every day, one day at a time. When confronted with an unhealthy food it is okay to have a few bites...savor them...then log them into your food diary and keep eating healthy.


    So skinny (and/or healthy) people can eat the entire slice, but OP can't/shouldn't?
  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,029 Member
    gianna729 wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    kiera1995 wrote: »
    It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.

    Eat what you want, as long as you remain in your calorie deficit. I eat ice cream, chocolate, fast food, and pizza all the time, and I've lost 55 pounds in a year.

    Oh heck no! What you eat does matter! Sure a person can lose weight on these foods but at the cost of good health. Even skinny people can have heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune responses and a myriad of other health problems related to poor diet.

    I cringe every time someone in the FitnessPal community posts that all you need to do is take in fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. That may be true but the goal is good health and a lower weight is just one component of good health.

    I'm sure the person who mentioned pizza, chocolate, and ice cream does not eat them to the exclusion of everything else. There are no "bad" foods in the context of an overall healthy diet.

    I'm a vegetarian who doesn't eat pizza or ice cream and hasn't had chocolate in ages (and there's nothing wrong with eating any of those) and my immune system is a mess. Sweeping generalizations about food and health and diet causing health problems rarely hold true.



  • LAWoman72
    LAWoman72 Posts: 2,846 Member
    acceann wrote: »
    It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.

    But how many people do you really see that can do this? Are you looking at smiling slender people and just assuming they must not give a thought to what they eat? I don't know where you're located, but in the U.S., anyway, only about 33% of adults are a normal weight. And you really have to assume that a percentage of these are a normal weight because they are watching their weight - eating at a deficit to get there, and/or maintenance if they're already there. This leaves a significant minority who actually can just roll out of bed and start stuffing without gaining any weight.

    We've all known a person or two who seemed to be able to stuff it in and never gain an ounce. But compared to the total number of people you know, how many really are able to do this?

  • LAWoman72
    LAWoman72 Posts: 2,846 Member

    I thought the way you do for years. It was just too hard. Nothing would ever work and I should just give up.

    One morning I woke up and thought "I can do this. I need to do this". I haven't looked back.

    This is exactly what happened to me.
  • octavian87
    octavian87 Posts: 2 Member
    You can listen to people argue online for decades, spend some money on a certefied and reputable health & fitness coach YOU LIKE. The last part is just as important, as the skill of the coach. If you dont vibe together, it wont work.
    Meet regularly, and be honest about your problems and goals. A good coach will be able to booth guide you through it, and help include "treats" you just cant live without.
    I used to weigh 140kg @ 192cm, and play computer games. Now im 92kg, with a fat-percentage of 7% and a strong atheltic physice for those who care about such. I did it because i wanted to wear designer clothes, take long demanding hikes and still eat ice-cream.

    Totaly worth it imo!
  • LeslieB042812
    LeslieB042812 Posts: 1,799 Member
    acceann wrote: »
    It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.

    I used to complain the same way, "it isn't fair". But, my mom pointed out that a lot of things aren't fair in life and there are much more difficult reasons to have to monitor what you're eating than simply weight loss (her example was diabetes). It's just our lot in life that we have to work harder to lose/maintain weight than some people do.

    I also agree with the poster who said that you don't know what other people are doing to stay their weight. I've been "skinny" and had people comment on how I don't need to worry about my weight. Ironically, I that conversation with someone in the office kitchen while I was measuring out my plain oats for oatmeal for breakfast! My response was that's why I was skinny! lol Do I get jealous of people (even on MFP) who eat 1800-2000 calories/day and lose weight while I would be quickly gaining on that much? Of course! But that doesn't help anything.

    When you're ready, just track everything--even when you break down and eat a whole bag of chips (like I did just last night). It's when you say "I blew it" and give up that a cheat day becomes a cheat week. Log everything you eat and you will be able to get it under control. Good luck!
  • lemon629
    lemon629 Posts: 501 Member
    Kalikel wrote: »
    This makes me so sad. If you don't really want - REALLY WANT - to do the hard work of losing weight, stop! Don't feel badly about yourself because you've failed to do something you don't really want to do, anyway! If you don't want to do all that hard work, just choose not to do it. Put it off and enjoy doing what you really want to do. Eat yummy food and ENJOY it!

    When you really, really do want to do the hard work, nothing will stop you. You won't "cheat" because you won't want to cheat. You'll be all, "Oh, please, I'm not eating that. I intend to lose weight, thanks." :)

    Make a choice and (whatever it is), be happy with it! Enjoy what you're doing. Life goes by fast! Have some fun. :)

    I agree. If you're not truly ready to lose weight, you will fail and then feel bad about yourself. Instead, perhaps take some time to think about what you could change in your life that would help you be ready. Something is holding you back and either making you overeat or just preventing you from committing to a plan-- fear, loneliness, sadness, stress-- figure it out and solve that problem. Make sure your emotional needs (need more alone time? need more time with friends? need a creative outlet? need intellectual stimulation?) are being met. Then you'll be ready and it will be much easier to lose weight and make and stick to a plan. (By the way, another reason for failure is having an overly strict plan. Make sure your plan is reasonable.)

    One way to start might be to practice a little therapy on yourself. When you feel the desire to eat more than you should, ask yourself why? Many times it is not true hunger, especially if you desire a particular food or type of food. Frequently there is an emotional trigger or just a generally unpleasant feeling or mood. I think taking a moment to think about it can be helpful. Then if you still want to eat, eat slowly and savor every bite. Stop when you're full. Don't eat to the point of being stuffed.

    I am saying this because the original poster sounds like an emotional eater. Not everyone has this problem, but they can usually stick to plans better and don't sound so upset when they fail.
  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
    User Deactivated.
    acceann has deactivated their account.
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,562 Member
    edited January 2015
    gianna729 wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    kiera1995 wrote: »
    It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.

    Eat what you want, as long as you remain in your calorie deficit. I eat ice cream, chocolate, fast food, and pizza all the time, and I've lost 55 pounds in a year.

    Oh heck no! What you eat does matter! Sure a person can lose weight on these foods but at the cost of good health. Even skinny people can have heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune responses and a myriad of other health problems related to poor diet.

    I cringe every time someone in the FitnessPal community posts that all you need to do is take in fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. That may be true but the goal is good health and a lower weight is just one component of good health.

    Where did I say I eat ONLY those? I make room for ice cream several times a week by eating as many nutritionally-filled foods as I can the rest of the day. The fast food and pizza I try to keep to once a week, Thursday and Friday nights, as those were traditions before I lost weight. The difference now is I make different choices (a smaller sandwich, grilled chicken, I no longer order a full meal with fries and a regular soda), and I limit myself from going out again unless I feel the craving that badly or I'm with others. So far today I've eaten Greek yogurt with granola and cherries, and leftovers from last night's dinner. Depending on how dinner goes, then I'll decide if I want ice cream or something with fewer calories to remain in my deficit. If I have that treat at night, then I don't feel deprived.
  • SergeantSausage
    SergeantSausage Posts: 1,673 Member
    There is no "normal" - it is an illusion.. and the only thing that is "meant to be" is what you intentionally mean to be.

    If you mean to be fat, you'll find a way. If you are meant to be skinny, you'll make that happen to. The only question is which do you want more? It's 100% in your control. Which do you mean to be?
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    User Deactivated.
    acceann has deactivated their account.

    I just saw that, too. Not sure why?
  • LAWoman72
    LAWoman72 Posts: 2,846 Member
    User Deactivated.
    acceann has deactivated their account.

    That's too bad. I hope she figures this all out and is able ultimately to lose the weight she wants to lose.

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  • freechewy
    freechewy Posts: 111 Member
    edited January 2015
    My doctor told me that I won't be able to lose any weight at my age without going on a severely restricted diet eg. Vegan and no packaged foods at all. Not sustainable for me so I just try not to exceed 1500 calories per day (food wise.)

    someone on here mentioned sugar, she/he is right. I looked at the amount of sugar in 1% lowfat milk and it's 13 grams for an 8 ounce serving! Lowfat and diet foods are horrible.
  • Pootler74
    Pootler74 Posts: 223 Member
    I think there's one importance difference between someone who loses weight and keeps it off and someone who tries and doesn't. It isn't the sort of diet they are on, or how often they hit the gym. I really do think they just really want to get to a weight they are comfortable with, and are determined to get there.

    I see it on here all the time. Something just clicks. They are resolute. Single minded. And willing to stick at it for a long time.

    Perhaps wanting it so much and being so determined, they spend a lot of time learning about how to do it effectively, which gives them tools to help them maintain the loss. One of the things they've learned is this, and I see this being talked about on MFP all the time:

    You don't have to deprive yourself in order to lose weight. It doesn't have to be horrible.

    With careful planning and preparation, you can eat 'junk', go out for dinner, order take out, and have your cake and eat it too.

    If you are ready, if you want it, if you are willing to learn about food and plan your meals, you will do it.
  • busywaterbending
    busywaterbending Posts: 844 Member
    gianna, great job reviving a post from last year.

    The op obviously has not tried going to a hormone specialist (doctor), and would rather complain online.
  • Pootler74
    Pootler74 Posts: 223 Member
    LAWoman72 wrote: »
    acceann wrote: »
    It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.

    But how many people do you really see that can do this? Are you looking at smiling slender people and just assuming they must not give a thought to what they eat?

    I once read a story in some magazine or other, many many years ago, that has stuck with me. I don't even know if the story is true, but the idea behind it is.

    Two friends regularly met up for lunch. One friend, the overweight one, usually ordered a salad because she was often on a diet. The skinny friend would order things like fish and chips, pie or pizza, and then finish with dessert. One day, the overweight friend looked longingly at the skinny friend's plate of pasta and asked, "How can you eat that sort of thing and stay so thin?"

    "Because," she said, taking a mouthful of creamy carbonara and gooey cheese, "I watch what I eat for most other meals, most other days."

    (There probably are skinny people who never think about what they eat. But I bet they have smallish appetites. While they are eating burgers and fries, they probably aren't eating the supersized version, and they probably won't eat much more to eat that day. That's why they don't need to think about it. Their bodies do it for them.)
  • librarydebster
    librarydebster Posts: 177 Member
    I'm glad to see you have a lot of responses to boost you up! Don't despair because we all have the ability to be successful at weight loss!
    I have lost 70 pounds since Jan 2014 and years ago I used to think I would slide back to bad habits and be fat forever. Wrong! I changed my attitude and decided to exercise every week, 3 times the absolute minimum, but mostly 4 to 6 times a week, and make better food choices. My calorie intake is about 1700 calories but of course I eat more depending on the intensity of my exercise.
    I found two exercises I love and when I cycle in the summer or hike in the fall/winter I want to be outside for hours. That's the key to success - to do exercises you love and be committed to getting the weight off no matter how long it takes. No rush to get there. It could take a year or two or more for it all to come off.
    Just get outside to appreciate nature, and make exercise your priority. I also do my stationary bike and treadmill but if I didn't have them I would be outside walking or stair climbing near our escarpment stairs.
    - When you body starts reshaping itself you will be amazed and you'll want to see more changes!
    - It's so worthwhile to do it. If you need help from a nutritionist or gym, go ahead and invest in yourself. But honestly, just stepping outside is less costly. You don't need supplements or fad diets. Eat foods you will eat for the rest of your life. You can do this! Please let us know how you progress.
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  • dawnn33
    dawnn33 Posts: 4 Member
    So many amazing comments and suggestions!

    I too feel this way and I am not trying to write a blog to help keep me motivated and I have decided to keep Alcohol out of my house as that always seems to be my calorie breaker and the reason I was too tired to exercise.

    Keep up the good work, it will happen! If you ever want or need a support person, feel free to reach out!

    Cheers!
  • SergeantSausage
    SergeantSausage Posts: 1,673 Member
    freechewy wrote: »
    My doctor told me that I won't be able to lose any weight at my age without going on a severely restricted diet eg. Vegan and no packaged foods at all.

    Unless there are other special redeeming traits not in evidence here, I'd be all for recommending firing that Doc. That's ignorance of the highest order and someone with a medical degree darned well knows better.
  • beertrollruss
    beertrollruss Posts: 276 Member
    I've been on the roller coaster many times. Last year, I lost 30 pounds. Not a lot, but I've kept it off so far and I took my old pants to Goodwill at the end of the year. My MFP streak just passed 400. I log everything. I focus on weekly totals, not daily and I weigh myself once a week. I hit the gym 4 times a week. I eat my exercise calories and I have MFP set to lose half a pound a week. It works as long as you think long term, accept that you may gain some weeks and try to minimize temptation.
  • jpaulie
    jpaulie Posts: 917 Member
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    User Deactivated.
    acceann has deactivated their account.

    I just saw that, too. Not sure why?

    could be fake account
  • Hily93
    Hily93 Posts: 65 Member
    acceann wrote: »
    I am going to try and make this rant as short as possible. I just feel really fed up with my failures. I tried everything. Moderation, no counting calories to counting calories. Restricting food to not restricting foods. Eat healthy foods. Cheat meals turn to cheat weeks. I really am at lost for what to try. I don't get it, is it me? Am I just meant to be fat forever? Has anyone ever been in the same boat as me?

    No, you're not doomed, I was like that before as well, I would try to lose weight for maybe 3-4weeks and after no change or gain of weight I would give up. You should check you hormone levels and get a full blood check. And other then that start with the calorie count, start to eat healthy and don't think of it as a diet, that always messes it up for me. Think of it as a lifestyle! Make sure you weight everything you eat so that you get exact calories and then just give it time. Forget about cheat days and cheat meals. Everything should be in moderation and you should fit it in to you calorie goal for the day, we'll be here supporting you and rooting for you!! Don't worry you are not alone!
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    malibu927 wrote: »
    kiera1995 wrote: »
    It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.

    Eat what you want, as long as you remain in your calorie deficit. I eat ice cream, chocolate, fast food, and pizza all the time, and I've lost 55 pounds in a year.

    Just a question and I am honestly asking this, do you worry about nutrition along with losing weight? I think they are both important and while you can lose weight and eat anything is that really the healthy thing to do? I only ask because you said you eat this stuff all the time whatever you want within your calories, do you really do that or do you moderate it to get nutritional food as well? Or are you going to worry about nutritional stuff later after you have focused on the weightloss?

  • allanakern
    allanakern Posts: 245 Member
    weigh and measure your food with a sustainable calorie intake and you'll lose. literally.
  • Hily93
    Hily93 Posts: 65 Member
    gianna729 wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    kiera1995 wrote: »
    It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.

    Eat what you want, as long as you remain in your calorie deficit. I eat ice cream, chocolate, fast food, and pizza all the time, and I've lost 55 pounds in a year.

    Oh heck no! What you eat does matter! Sure a person can lose weight on these foods but at the cost of good health. Even skinny people can have heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune responses and a myriad of other health problems related to poor diet.

    I cringe every time someone in the FitnessPal community posts that all you need to do is take in fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. That may be true but the goal is good health and a lower weight is just one component of good health.

    and vegan's and vegetarians and paleo eating people can have those diseases as well.... so obviously your point is now gone...

    People here want to lose weight - period. THAT is calories - period.

    You need to think a bit further then just calories if your aim is to be healthy. Just because you are a vegan och vegetarian doesn't mean you only eat healthy. If you only eat junk food like chocolate and coke, sure your calorie count will be below, but that food does so much damage to your body. I am in medical school and we read about this, it's shocking!! I have seen loads of people on this forum say you can eat junk food and still lose weight, but for one moment think of why you want to lose weight and you'll see that you are counteracting that behavior with your lifestyle. You want to lose weight, then stop thinking of it as a diet. Try and eat healthy, switch the white bread with brown. Try to avoid eating outside or eating junk food like chocolate. You can treat yourself every now and then, the point of it being a lifestyle is so that you can eat what you like every now and then. Try working out, count calories and you'll see that sometimes what you think is healthy is the opposite of healthy. Eventually the weight loss will come and you will feel better, your body will feel better!
  • jasonmh630
    jasonmh630 Posts: 2,850 Member
    AnnisHD wrote: »
    Kiera: NO...you are not doomed. If anything, the FOOD INDUSTRY has doomed us with all the fads and claims over the years. I highly recommend getting Dr. Hyman's book...The Sugar Solution or The Sugar Impact by JJ Virgin. THESE two authors have done more to REEducate me...FAT does not make you FAT. SUGAR makes you fat. Stop eating FAT FREE items because read the labels to see ALL THE SUGAR added for taste.

    Here we go again with the "Sugar is bad" BS... ^^^This is misinformation. Don't believe it.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Considering the obesity epidemic, I'd say you are completely normal. You can't watch what other people are eating to compare. Learn to understand your body and respect it. I had to reconcile that my portions will be smaller than what others seem to get away with, but that's the reality.
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