I'm so sick of being on a weightloss journey!!!

MsShorten

Okay so as you can see from the title this is a rant. So I joined MFP on May 4,2013 and I have been doing great really. I have a "No days off" approach to my exercise, but my eating, well I try and stay under calorie goal and it has been kinda pretty good. I guess I'm more on a 80/20 with that, but for me....I'd say I'm a changed woman.

But I'm tired. I feel like I always have to watch it. My birthday was May 28 and I felt a complete mess by eating eating 2 cupcakes! I feel like I'm paranoid with everything. I feel like if I don't get up and go workout in the mornings I will lose everything. I feel silly complaining about it too! There are some benefits I'm really excited about. I can now run! I've been doing the couch to 5K plan and I run/walk everyday, but on Monday I ran 2.25 miles straight and I ran a mile straight both Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm on a streak:blushing: , My family is not very supportive. Okay, they are proud. They just do not realize what it takes to keep me ON everyday. My husband teaches martial arts and is very FIT LOOKING, so he can't even hear me on a fitness or nutrition issue. He loves to eat out and acts like since I workout everyday I can eat out everyday with him. @#%^*** and I just get so frustrated.

So, I guess that was beneficial! Hopefully somebody responds in a way that I'm like "yeah, that's exactly what I needed to hear!"

retiree2006

Sure it's tough...but it sounds like you're tougher. We all get frustrated and fear the return of the lost pounds...so relax a bit. You know that if you stay within your calories (at least most of the time) and move more (congrats on the 2.25 mile run) you'll continue to be successful. You've been at it about a month and that's usually the time that frustration can set in...so you're perfectly normal. Now the big difference is that some give up and others get recharged. Just set your mind to being one of the rechargers! Best wishes to you! :flowerforyou:

mariposa224

You've been doing this for less than 4 weeks and you're fed up with your lifestyle change all ready? I'm a little confused... Yes, I understand that it's frustrating to have to be continually aware of what you're eating and how active you are at first... But after a while, it really does start to become more like second-nature. You really need to just give it more time. I'm sorry you're so annoyed with things, but consistency is the key. And your body does need a rest day... While I was losing, I did the 6 days on, one day off approach. Having a day when you don't *have* to workout can be especially helpful at the beginning. As far as diet, I believe in all things in moderation. Yes, it's annoying to not be able to eat as much of some things as we might like to eat, but allowing myself to have SOME keeps me from feeling the need to binge on things I shouldn't be...

SALSACHICA1

Well we have all been there and felt like giving up, but you need to think more about you and less about everyone else. If it is starting to make you feel good, and you wake up knowing you are doing this for you and no one else... it will become second nature soon! When I stopped looking for my boyfriend to join me, my kids to enjoy it, and everyone else commenting on it, I found I just really like getting up and getting moving. I love all the new clothes I fit into and soon, it will start to show big time.... Good luck!

WifeofPJ

Hi I'm sorry that you are getting burnt out. Some suggestions I would give is to take at least one day off a week from working out, on those days just take a walk and only do that as your activity or take your day off to do your house cleaning. I would also suggest to let yourself have your treats once in a while I learned last week after eating an entire pizza that was two servings that I can have those meals like that as long as I don't let it spiral out of control. I felt horrible after eating that pizza but since I didn't let it spiral I lost 4 lbs that week still!

As far as your husband goes have you thought of training with him? Martial Arts is a great workout and you can bond with him. He may understand you more if you do that together. My husband also trains in martial arts he does MMA so I do understand what you mean by your husband not understanding you.

Good luck! Add me if you want for some support.

MsShorten

Hi I'm sorry that you are getting burnt out. Some suggestions I would give is to take at least one day off a week from working out, on those days just take a walk and only do that as your activity or take your day off to do your house cleaning. I would also suggest to let yourself have your treats once in a while I learned last week after eating an entire pizza that was two servings that I can have those meals like that as long as I don't let it spiral out of control. I felt horrible after eating that pizza but since I didn't let it spiral I lost 4 lbs that week still!

As far as your husband goes have you thought of training with him? Martial Arts is a great workout and you can bond with him. He may understand you more if you do that together. My husband also trains in martial arts he does MMA so I do understand what you mean by your husband not understanding you.

Good luck! Add me if you want for some support.

LOL, my husband and I have tried to train together, but we decided its probably to stay married. He works with elite athletes and we always end arguing or something. And I'm sure its me too, just intimidated by his expectations as far as working out goes.

animelose2012

I do know what you are felling. I am on the same journey as you. I t does get hard when your other half is eating gravy and bags of hips and drinking diet soda like it is water and getting on the scale, when you are counting every singe calories you can and working out then you get on the scale and you find out that you lost .2lbs! you buy sausage links and you have not even eaten a single one due to your other half eating them all. It gets frustrating. How i see it is i am not doing this to please my my boyfriend, i am doing this to please me and i am not going to give up. Just know that your fight is the good fight.

MsShorten

I do know what you are felling. I am on the same journey as you. I t does get hard when your other half is eating gravy and bags of hips and drinking diet soda like it is water and getting on the scale, when you are counting every singe calories you can and working out then you get on the scale and you find out that you lost .2lbs! you buy sausage links and you have not even eaten a single one due to your other half eating them all. It gets frustrating. How i see it is i am not doing this to please my my boyfriend, i am doing this to please me and i am not going to give up. Just know that your fight is the good fight.

OMG! Exactly

ChristinaR720

Making this lifestyle change should not mean giving up on living your life. Birthdays happen. Holidays happen. Your social life happens. While making healthy choices and exercising are absolutely essential to losing weight, deprivation is not. Allow yourself to enjoy a slice of pizza or a piece of cake every once in a while. As long as you don't overdo it and it's not something you do daily, it won't be an issue. Just fit those things into your macros for the day. Also, I highly recommend taking rest days from exercising. Taking a break once or twice a week might be helpful.

Try not to be so hard on yourself and a cupcake (or two!) certainly isn't something worth feeling guilty over. Remember that you are making this change for the rest of your life. This lifestyle change is what you make it. Stop telling yourself what you CAN'T do, enjoy your life, try to find enjoyment in this process, and start reminding yourself what you CAN do.

kitka82

Your story could have been mine LOL. So just know that it gets better. Keep tracking your food. Keep working out. You are on the right track. My husband has always been fit. He was a competitive swimmer and he's naturally muscular. He eats whatever he wants. I noticed he almost never wants sugar. That's where we are different. Don't worry too much about food at this point. You are making this a lifestyle change.

I hope your workouts are fun for you. That will keep you going. You will be amazed by where you end up a few months from now. Do you reward yourself for losing 5 or 10 pounds? You should. Make it a positive thing and you'll have a reason to keep going.

katinachaos

It takes 30 days to create a habit, or so I've read, so you're still in the phase where it's more work than something that comes naturally. I find that there are certain people that annoy the crap out of me when it comes to any sort of fitness discussion or even as someone to drive to the gym with. Find someone you can shoot the *kitten* with that you can't divorce, change up your routine so you don't get bored and quit, and cut yourself some slack!

SamMorBelsmom

Seriously, me and you both. I too, have been at this for about 40 days and have not moved the scale. I am a repeat offender on MFP because I found this site before my first child was born in 09' and now have three and after each one, I have come back on. We are done now with having kids so this is going to be a permanent thing for me. I am breastfeeding and unfortunately for me, I hold onto weight like crazy when I breastfeed so that is even doubly hard on me. I am going to have to agree with everyone else. If I have learned anything from MFP its that you need a rest day (go shopping, or get your nails done) and you need to eat your cravings. The difference is that you only eat a little. And log everything. 11 lbs down is nothing to be a shamed of in a months. I have been actively trying to lose weight for about 5 months now and have only managed 12 lbs. Be proud of what you have done and remember, nothing is bad for you in moderation. Add me too, if you would like more support. I am always open to a good vent!

Nikki_XC

mariposa224 said it best. Took the words right out of my mouth. Sound advice.

vntrevino

I so know what you mean!! Why is that men lose weight SO much easier than us?! So annoying. I feel you, my husband used to be a personal trainer and it pisses me off when I'm working out and he corrects me somehow. I know he's just trying to help (I should want to do it right) but all I can think is, At least I'm doing it dammit!! And the same thing with him eating whatever he wants. *Jealous* I used to get so mad when on our weekly date night bc I'd do good during the day and then we'd go out to eat and ruin my calories. I would get pissed! But in reality, if I hadn't ruined my calories (all by myself) the rest of the week, date night wouldn't matter. Smh. It's a process! LOL!!

bodiva88

Sounds like in your head you haven't made a lifestyle change but you're on a diet. Won't work. Decide what you want. Do you want to be healthy and fit? Then plan what you need to do and CAN do over the long haul (forever) to accomplish that. And take a couple days off exercise every week or you'll burn out, hurt yourself, set yourself up for plateaus later on.

Variety is key in exercise and food. But so are commitment and consistency.

Find exercise you enjoy that gets your motor charged physically AND emotionally. Figure out which low-calorie foods you love and be sure you have them around for snacking and meal times. Figure out which calorie dense things you just can't do without and plan them for days when you have a bit of extra burn so you don't feel constantly deprived. And figure out what calorie dense foods just aren't worth it and avoid them.

Good luck.

lbigham1

Good Morning! I know exactly how you feel. I started my "lifstyle change" journey about 12 years ago and while it has not been easy, I can say its become a way of life. Over the years, I have come to realize that in order to be healthy and fit, there will have to be some work and sacrifice on my part. The good news is that sacrifice does not mean giving up all the things you like, it just means enjoying them in moderation. I think you would be a lot less frustrated if you allow yourself "treats" that are within your daily calorie goal. - If you worked out on your birthday and it allowed you 2 cupcakes, that's perfectly fine. Treating yourself occasionally without overinduldging will help you to stay on plan and realize your goal. Make the plan work for you in a way that you can live with and you will be much happier. :-)

mfleeg

So I have been working on the Insanity workout and I have found myself really lovin' the trainer, Shaun T.

I saw an interview with him from someone who asked him about his opinion of cheat meals and he was at first, "I HATE CHEAT MEALS!!!" but not in the way that I thought he was going to say "I HATE CHEAT MEALS!!!" He then went on to say that he hates the concept of cheat meals because it makes people feel guilty and they shouldn't feel guilty about having cupcakes on their birthday or enjoying a nice meal every now and again. He says they should be treat meals. He says that you're not really cheating anyone, but that fitness is great, but what fun is life if you never get to enjoy things? He says the goal is to know yourself and know your body. Know how often you can treat yourself and don't feel guilty about it because that is what will get you down.

The funny thing is since I liked him on facebook, on Memorial Day, he posted a plate of three cupcakes, talked about eating half a box of thin mints when he launched a fitness blog, and talked about his love of fruity pebbles, peanut M and M's, and lime tostitos.

So.... I think his advice applies in this situation. Birthdays are a treat. Holidays are a treat. Don't overdo anything, but don't get so guilty that you feel as though you will never get anywhere! This is life and you should still get the chance to enjoy these things once in a while!

Jarice12

We've all been through that! I'm here to tell you that it gets easier. It don't know if it will ever get easy but it gets easier. It's truly in the way you think about it. In the beginning, I was more on the path of just losing, so I cut back but still ate some of what I wanted. It was much easier for me to cut out fries and sodas, but still eat a Reese's cup or wings (6 instead of 10:) when I wanted. I didn't try to cut our everything; that wouldn't have worked for me. Now, about a year later, it's all about staying healthy. I eat better because I want to be healthy not because I want to lose weight. This is a lifestyle for me now, not a "diet" or a "chore". I exercise because it makes me feel good and it is helping me reach my goal. My weight loss is still slow, but it's the turtle that ultimately wins the race. My partner is on this journey with me but is not as motivated and I feel like I'm constantly dragging her and watching what she eats. It gets exhausting, but I want my family to be healthy so I will do whatever it takes. You are on the right track. Keep grinding. Keep moving and it will become natural to you to eat better and fun to exercise.
Focus on your accomplishments and what you CAN eat instead of what you can't eat. You got this!

711lucia

You've been doing this for less than 4 weeks and you're fed up with your lifestyle change all ready? I'm a little confused... Yes, I understand that it's frustrating to have to be continually aware of what you're eating and how active you are at first... But after a while, it really does start to become more like second-nature. You really need to just give it more time. I'm sorry you're so annoyed with things, but consistency is the key. And your body does need a rest day... While I was losing, I did the 6 days on, one day off approach. Having a day when you don't *have* to workout can be especially helpful at the beginning. As far as diet, I believe in all things in moderation. Yes, it's annoying to not be able to eat as much of some things as we might like to eat, but allowing myself to have SOME keeps me from feeling the need to binge on things I shouldn't be...

711lucia

I agree with Mariposa...... Couldn't have put it better myself.

meadow_sage

Keep doing what you are doing. Set small goals to help keep you on task and have a feeling of accomplishment. If you have two cupcakes, enjoy them and then move on. It will be fine. You got this!

Sklounsbrough

You can do it and I am so proud to hear you can now run-what an accoplishment!!! That is something I am hoping to be able to do also. I joined 4-5 weeks ago and am at a 5 pound loss but got alot to go and get frustrated also !!

jrr07080

Hey there! I saw your message on the message bored. Our bodies are art. They take time to perfect. Stay patient and be kind to yourself and the changes will come. Friend request me if you would like to stay in touch. Best wishes.

eep223

I find that my mental commitment kind of ebbs and flows, but that as long as I continue the habits, I'm fine. I've stalled out on the weight loss a couple times, but I haven't *gained* weight, so I trust that as long as I keep moving and being sensible, things will come out right in the end. Sometimes weight loss is 100% on my mind, and sometimes it's not, but the behaviors are consistent. Does that make sense? Slow and steady wins the race, etc.

Edit: Keep running!!! Even when you don't feel like it. Better than having to work up to in again.

TheBeerRunner

I found that at first it was really beneficial to set short-term goals and not sweat the small stuff. If I had a bad day with food or exercise, so be it. It's a journey, there are bound to be some setbacks, delays, and days where you want nothing more than to just give up entirely. Set a small goal to start off with... Something like "Lose 5 pounds in June." That small, short-term goal is easier to comprehend and reach for instead of "I need to lose 100+ lbs." Once you plow through a few short-term goals, then look back at your long-term goal of 100 lbs, or whatever it is. Mark your progress, set some more goals. Once you get going on a plan and stick to it for a few months, it becomes a habit, which gets harder and harder to break once you've stuck to it for many months.

kimmie185

"Don't trade what you want most for what you want at the moment."

alpine1994

This is totally normal! I have been on my journey for just about a year now (I have been in maintenance for 2.5 months) and I PROMISE you that if you stick with it, all of your healthy habits will be fully ingrained and it will seem effortless and normal. Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT work out 7 days a week (usually 4-5) and I DEFINITELY eat cupcakes! The whole "everything in moderation" thing can't be more true. Could you go through the rest of your life without birthday cupcakes? or pizza? or a huge bowl of pasta with some crazy thick sauce all over it? hell no! But having these things only once in a while is what makes the difference.

I had a really hard time when I was about 1 month in, just like you. I was sick of weighing everything, logging everything, working out all the time, and avoiding my favorite foods only for like a 4lb loss that first month and no visible changes. Time is KEY. I promise! I can't pinpoint what kept me going. I think I was really just so sick of being fat and hiding from life. My life and happiness have improved dramatically since I lost the weight. I feel free and like I can really be myself and not hide from the world anymore. It is so worth it!! Please stick with it!!! Feel free to friend me if you want some support. (Warning: tough love is my style!)

NovemberJune

Hmmm I do think the first month can be harder because these things are all new and not yet habits. And I feel you on the partner stuff. My husband would sit and down half a bag of chips and a liter of soda while I was working out! But I also think you need to not be too strict on yourself. It's ok to workout 5 days per week. It's ok to go over your calorie goal a couple days per week. Just aim to meet a weekly goal (If you have the apple app, it has a great weekly view of calories. not sure about android and I wish the website would get it ;P).

But you also have to remember that you'll want the changes you're making now to be permanent and last a life time and you're only on month 1. Hopefully once they become habits, it will be easier.

kikih64

You're making progress! Don't give up. I suggest you look up Nia Shanks, and Beautiful Badass. She's amazing. She wants us to keep it simple and sane. Don't give up everything you enjoy! I'm reading her 10 commandments now and one of them is just eat well most of the time - everyone slips, or has a treat (like birthday cupcakes!). Don't feel guilty. Just move on.

Good luck!

stepitupgirl

4 weeks and your already tired of being on this journey?! Maybe you need to change some things up, it doesn't sound like your are HARDCORE with your eating where you don't let yourself splurge, and it doesn't sound like your over pushing it with your workouts.

Maybe you need to incorporate some types of workouts that you love, and start eating better, so that you can see results that will cause you to love this journey.

I'm almost 4 years in, and I'm not TIRED of this journey..

Trueray

Is only been a month and your giving up. No one said it was easy. Until you truly want to change then what ever we say is actually useless but start your goal small like 5 lbs a month and have yourself a cheat day/meal once a week whichever you prefer. Keep your cheat day/meal no more than 500 calories over your daily limit.(So if you usually eat 2000 cals a day then make it 2500 on your cheat day). Baby steps!