'Normal' eating - what is it?

_Frankie_

Hi folks, I'll try to keep it short and sweet.

Basically I have a really bad habit; binge eating. I've done it on/off (mostly on!) for the last 7 years, and I'm trying very hard to stop (I read 'Brain over Binge' - would recommend). I know what I have to do (accept binge urges but don't react to them, etc.) but my therapist suggests that I also try structured eating for a little while to help me get back in-touch with my normal hunger. This means eating three meals and three snacks a day at around 3-hour intervals. This is to make sure I don't go hungry and also don't have to obsess over what to eat next/when etc. The only things I'm worried about are:

A.) I'm a HUGE perfectionist. I'm afraid that if I 'slip' from the eating times, I might feel guilty and binge.
B.) I know it's probably good for my recovery, but I hate the thought of structured eating. I much prefer the vision of myself eating intuitively (only when I'm hungry) but since binge eating has made me lose track of my hunger signals, I guess I'll have to wait...
C.) I'm not sure what 'normal' eating is anymore. When I look at slim people, all I can imagine is that they live on like, salads and fruit etc. This thinking makes me paranoid - I almost always feel like Ive eaten 'too much.'

Below is an idea of what I think a normal day -might- be like if I didn't have such disordered eating. This is the sort of plan I'm thinking of following (although the foods will change daily, obviously). I won't count calories (an unhelpful trigger) but I'll post them here to give you an idea of portion:

9am: oatmeal and fruit (200) or toast and jam

11am: chocolate bar (250) or cereal bar (175)

1pm: vegetable soup and a slice of bread (300) or tuna salad sandwiches with an apple

4pm: fruit (100)

8pm: mushroom risotto with vegetables (400) or dinner at a restaurant (800+)

9pm: a regular slice of cake (500) or a yoghurt (200)

Total: 1400 - 2150 calories

SO TO THE QUESTION: Does this look like relatively 'normal' eating to you? I'm not trying to diet here (that's what got me into this trouble in the first place!!!) but I don't exactly want to put on 10lb either. FYI: I'm 5' 6' and weight 138lb. I'd like to weigh less, if honest; but I'm focused on getting my mental health together more than anything.

Any advice is lovingly appreciated. xo

Mokey41

Normal maybe but not exactly nutritious. Chocolate bars and cake are treats. I'm assuming since there's no meat that you are vegetarian so you need to work some protein sources into your diet. Otherwise it's about the time frame of when I eat. 3 meals, 3 snacks. The point is not to wait until you are starving and want to eat everything you see. If you eat at regular intervals you never get to that eat anything stage and can make better decisions on quantity.

55in13

What I consider normal and what the next person does are not likely to match, but I will take on a couple of details...

I don't think a mid morning snack is normal. It is something that people on certain diets do to try to keep feeding themselves healthy stuff through the day and it is something that overweight people do (Krispy Kreme in the coffee room). Most people I know who stay at a healthy weight without seeming to really try do not eat a morning snack.

A 500 cal piece of cake at 9 PM seems like a bad idea. A piece of fruit is about all I allow myself after dinner. Again, people who seem to stay in good shape without trying generally only rarely have an indulgence like a dessert later (like maybe once a week). Fruit seems pretty common though.

_Frankie_

Normal maybe but not exactly nutritious. Chocolate bars and cake are treats. I'm assuming since there's no meat that you are vegetarian so you need to work some protein sources into your diet. Otherwise it's about the time frame of when I eat. 3 meals, 3 snacks. The point is not to wait until you are starving and want to eat everything you see. If you eat at regular intervals you never get to that eat anything stage and can make better decisions on quantity.

I know they're treats, don't worry. I'd probably only be comfortable having cake 1-2 times a week. However, it's important that I get out of the 'good' food 'bad' food mindset as this often makes me want to binge when I eat a 'bad' food. In order to do this, I think I need to eat a few more treats here and there to help 'normalize' them in my own head, if that makes any sense.

I'm not a vegetarian - I just don't like meat very much. But I do eat tonnes of fish and add soy protein to my oatmeal.

Pearsquared

I really want to learn more intuitive eating as well, but I've struggled with binge eating in the past, and found I need a structured meal plan (at least for right now). It actually makes me learn to eat at certain times, and to not "save" my calories for night time when I want to binge.

I have had the problems you worry about. I feel bad when I have to eat earlier than my normal meal time even when I'm actually hungry, because I think that I'm just craving something instead. It has helped me realize that I can eat quite a bit and stay fairly low in calories, but still have treats.

_Frankie_

What I consider normal and what the next person does are not likely to match, but I will take on a couple of details...

I don't think a mid morning snack is normal. It is something that people on certain diets do to try to keep feeding themselves healthy stuff through the day and it is something that overweight people do (Krispy Kreme in the coffee room). Most people I know who stay at a healthy weight without seeming to really try do not eat a morning snack.

A 500 cal piece of cake at 9 PM seems like a bad idea. A piece of fruit is about all I allow myself after dinner. Again, people who seem to stay in good shape without trying generally only have a rare indulgence like a dessert later. Fruit seems pretty common though.

In honesty I don't often feel like I need a morning snack, oatmeal really fills me up. I may get rid of this one and try to eat my lunch a little earlier instead.

About the cake; Like I said above, I'd probably only be comfortable eating cake 1-2 a week, 3 times maximum. Most of the time I'd probably go for a glass or red wine or a yoghurt, something like that. It's important that I get used to eating 'bad' foods so that they don't seem so tempting to me. If I forbid myself things, I binge on them 2 days later.

ninerbuff

I define it as the way someone can eat and maintain good health. Notice I'm not saying what to eat. I believe that if a person get in the correct macro/micro nutrients for their body and activity and stay within a regular calorie limit, that that's normal for them.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

_Frankie_

I really want to learn more intuitive eating as well, but I've struggled with binge eating in the past, and found I need a structured meal plan (at least for right now). It actually makes me learn to eat at certain times, and to not "save" my calories for night time when I want to binge.

I have had the problems you worry about. I feel bad when I have to eat earlier than my normal meal time even when I'm actually hungry, because I think that I'm just craving something instead. It has helped me realize that I can eat quite a bit and stay fairly low in calories, but still have treats.

Hello there - I've read a good many recovery stories and a lot of people find that a structured plan helps at first, and then when the binge urges eventually begin to fade, you can start practicing 'eating intuitively.' Maybe that's the key? : )

jwdieter

Probably should see a psychologist. Not being mean, just seems like it would help.

The food looks fine, if you're comfortable with that pattern of eating and the calories fit your objectives.

Pearsquared

I really want to learn more intuitive eating as well, but I've struggled with binge eating in the past, and found I need a structured meal plan (at least for right now). It actually makes me learn to eat at certain times, and to not "save" my calories for night time when I want to binge.

I have had the problems you worry about. I feel bad when I have to eat earlier than my normal meal time even when I'm actually hungry, because I think that I'm just craving something instead. It has helped me realize that I can eat quite a bit and stay fairly low in calories, but still have treats.

Hello there - I've read a good many recovery stories and a lot of people find that a structured plan helps at first, and then when the binge urges eventually begin to fade, you can start practicing 'eating intuitively.' Maybe that's the key? : )

I hope so. (: I do still have the urges now, but they're not as bad as they used to be.

aelunyu

normal eating is basically eating to meet your nutritional needs without going excessively over or under your nutrient requirements.

what's normal for me, or what I need to sustain musculature, performance, health is going to be different than someone else with different goals in mind.

squeddle

I can completely relate to everything you have said in this post! I literally get so angry that I can't eat like other people because I go overboard and I don't know what normal eating really is!

I get annoyed that I can't just eat what I want because then I'd eat too much!

But from what you said I guess that looks like a pretty normal day of eating!

Francl27

I don't think there is such thing as 'normal' eating. It really will depend on each individual's activity level. But what would be normal for you is hitting your macros within your calorie goal. I'm not sure you would with such a diet, honestly... seems very high on carb and processed sugar. I mean, I have treats every day, but it's a 100 calorie chocolate bar or a 100 calorie frozen yogurt.

cmeiron

What I consider normal and what the next person does are not likely to match, but I will take on a couple of details...

I don't think a mid morning snack is normal. It is something that people on certain diets do to try to keep feeding themselves healthy stuff through the day and it is something that overweight people do (Krispy Kreme in the coffee room). Most people I know who stay at a healthy weight without seeming to really try do not eat a morning snack.

A 500 cal piece of cake at 9 PM seems like a bad idea. A piece of fruit is about all I allow myself after dinner. Again, people who seem to stay in good shape without trying generally only rarely have an indulgence like a dessert later (like maybe once a week). Fruit seems pretty common though.

Nonsense.

"Normal" eating, in terms of the frequency and timing of your meals/snacks, is whenever, and however often, you like. There is no "correct" number of meals; there is no "correct" time at which you should or shouldn't have snacks. It boils down to personal preference and whatever helps you where to your plan. Personally, I have a very light meal shortly after getting up, a huge breakfast a couple of hours later, (mid-morning!), a small lunch, often a mid-afternoon snack, and a big dinner. Sometimes an evening snack too. Others eat only twice or even once a day - it's what works for them.

As far as "indulgences" go, there is no reason not to have a treat or two that you enjoy every day. The important thing is to first make sure that you're getting sufficient protein, fat, and calories, and eating a variety of food so you get the other nutrients you need. If you have room for it after that - enjoy your chocolate bar and/or cake. I have dessert after dinner every day, and sometimes another mid-day.

The meal plan you've proposed look ok-ish, but it's very low on protein - do try to get some more lean meats, yogurts, cheeses, etc. in there to boost that important part.

cmeiron

About the cake; Like I said above, I'd probably only be comfortable eating cake 1-2 a week, 3 times maximum. Most of the time I'd probably go for a glass or red wine or a yoghurt, something like that. It's important that I get used to eating 'bad' foods so that they don't seem so tempting to me. If I forbid myself things, I binge on them 2 days later.

Yes, this exactly. It's very important to learn new associations with "bad" foods - starting with understanding that they're not "bad" and learning to enjoy them routinely without going overboard. You're on the right track here.