Must lose around 90 lbs and don't have any support
Mrsortiz7124
Posts: 18 Member
Hi everyone! I am trying to lose about 90lbs I have a few health issues and have gotten tired of always giving up but have realize that the reason why I always fall off the wagon is because I need support. I lack support from my husband and immediate family. I am very good at motivating others but can't keep myself motivated so if anyone can help me with that I can surely reciprocate 
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Why do you rely on others? Make up your mind and do it.
I have 5 everhungry kids around me all day long, and I feel like I am preparing food for someone half of my waking hours. Do I beg them to support me? Ni, I don 't need support because I know what I want.
Getting some inspiration or motivation through this forum or before/after pics etc is helpful but never ever expect from others to do the work for you.0 -
I know what you mean but I just don't have your willpower. I do hope once I do this for a while I will but as of now I don't .0
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Mrs ortiz,
Do you have a fitbit? I love mine and it integrates with myfitnesspal. It adds in your excersise and you can challenge your friends. I find that being able to see it real time and adjust my intake per day is very useful and helps me stay motivated.
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I'm right there with you! I am great at motivating others but can never seem to keep motivated myself. And sure yea, we need to have the willpower and just do it, but its easier said than done! Much easier to do when you have some support.0
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I don't but have heard great things about them..I'm going to look into getting me one soon0
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Hey!
I'm happy to help out if you're interested in a new friend on MFP. I've struggled with being consistent for years and am finally in a place where I'm working well towards achieving my goals.
For me this has been largely due to someone new (and much more driven) coming into my life and encouraging me to be consistent and determined. While as Sengalissa has said it is all about how much you want it, having someone around to remind you why you're doing it in the first place is helpful! The most valuable part of this has been having someone to talk to about lifestyle choices and alternative exercises when the gym or getting outside hasn't been an option or time constraints mean there's only a limited amount of time in a particular day to train.
Best of luck!0 -
I'm here too if you need support. If it was easy, we'll all be skinny0
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feel free to add me. this goes for everyone. i'm trying to lose 50lbs in five months and 100 total this year.0
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Thanks ereilly311
For me it's pretty hard to stay motivated the only time I stuck to an exercise and healthy eating routine was when I had a coach but he moved out of town and I lost all motivation to keep going0 -
Out of curiosity, what kind of support would you like from your husband? Have you asked him for it? Seriously.
I ask because I have a husband who needs to be explicitly told what's needed. Oh, he'll DO it, if I ask for it, and he'll even ask me if I want to be nagged about something (rare that I say yes to that!).
But the point is, I do know some people do expect partners to intuit wants/needs. And sometimes that doesn't work so great.0 -
sengalissa wrote: »Why do you rely on others? Make up your mind and do it.
I have 5 everhungry kids around me all day long, and I feel like I am preparing food for someone half of my waking hours. Do I beg them to support me? Ni, I don 't need support because I know what I want.
Getting some inspiration or motivation through this forum or before/after pics etc is helpful but never ever expect from others to do the work for you.
I gotta agree with this user. We can't motivate you. We can't make you do it. Why we can't? Because we are not physically there with you to try to motivate you to go workout or to not eat a whole bag of cookies (nothing wrong if you do and it fits your macros).
YOU have to decide.
YOU have to do it.
It's your choice.
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
-Wayne Dyer
You have to do this for yourself. When you want to do it for you, when you believe you deserve it, you will do it. You don't need anyone patting you on the back saying you can do it, because the only one that needs to believe that you can do it is you…0 -
Thanks everyone0
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Everybody needs a little support! Feel free to add me as well. I also highly recommend the fitbit. I have a fitbit flex and it helps keep me on track as well. I've also joined the community "Lose 20 by Easter" and I have started a MFP Blog. I'm going to try and update it with stats every 5 days to help keep myself accountable. Maybe that will help you as well?
Cheers! We all believe in you. Let me know what kind of support you need - I'm not very good at butt kicking, but I can give it a go.
~Bahbedwire
My Blog: New Year New Me
Lose 20 by Easter Community0 -
Mrsortiz7124 wrote: »Thanks ereilly311
For me it's pretty hard to stay motivated the only time I stuck to an exercise and healthy eating routine was when I had a coach but he moved out of town and I lost all motivation to keep going
I always start out great and once I falter I quit. I need to stay motivated so I stop doing that to myself. If you need someone to help keep you going, feel free to add me!
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sengalissa wrote: »Why do you rely on others? Make up your mind and do it.
I have 5 everhungry kids around me all day long, and I feel like I am preparing food for someone half of my waking hours. Do I beg them to support me? Ni, I don 't need support because I know what I want.
Getting some inspiration or motivation through this forum or before/after pics etc is helpful but never ever expect from others to do the work for you.
AGREE, 100%!
Support is overrated. We are adults and are responsible for our own actions. Also, support is different for everybody. What does support look like to you? I highly doubt that you have zero support. It just may not look like you think it should.
As for not having willpower… that's an excuse (so is "I don't have any support"). Willpower is nothing more than making a decision and re-making it everyday. If it's important to you… you'll find a way. You'll find a way to make that decision every day. To say you don't have willpower is really another way of saying that it's just not that important to you to keep at it.
I'm sorry if this sounds harsh and unsupportive… but it's true. Nobody can motivate you for you. There's no magic mantra to keep repeating to yourself. There's no magic device you can wear that will make you keep going. You have to decide to do it yourself. The mantras and devices are great and can be helpful. But you still have to make the decision and keep making it everyday.0 -
I totally disagree with the people saying that you are the only person who can motivate yourself, and you don't need support. Everyone could use some support and inspiration sometimes, and the approach that you don't need anyone may not necessarily work for you! Everyone is different! Yes, I motivate myself, and I do this for me and for no one else...but that doesn't mean I don't like to talk to others that know the struggle, who know how it feels, and who can offer tips and encouragement.
Obviously you know that it's you who can make the change. No matter what support we give you, we can't physically change you. But we can be here for you! I am totally on board with the user who suggested the Fitbit -- I have the Fitbit Flex and I love it! Instead of guessing how many cals I'm burning throughout the day/at the gym/doing housework, etc., it gives me a more accurate count. Plus, you can integrate it with Myfitnesspal and it works to tell you when you're consuming more calories than you expend. It's a great investment, in my opinion.
Good luck, and you absolutely CAN do this! My best suggestion is to start with small changes and make them habits. Once you see that you can handle that, you will hopefully be motivated to make even bigger changes!0 -
cincysweetheart wrote: »sengalissa wrote: »Why do you rely on others? Make up your mind and do it.
I have 5 everhungry kids around me all day long, and I feel like I am preparing food for someone half of my waking hours. Do I beg them to support me? Ni, I don 't need support because I know what I want.
Getting some inspiration or motivation through this forum or before/after pics etc is helpful but never ever expect from others to do the work for you.
AGREE, 100%!
Support is overrated. We are adults and are responsible for our own actions. Also, support is different for everybody. What does support look like to you? I highly doubt that you have zero support. It just may not look like you think it should.
As for not having willpower… that's an excuse (so is "I don't have any support"). Willpower is nothing more than making a decision and re-making it everyday. If it's important to you… you'll find a way. You'll find a way to make that decision every day. To say you don't have willpower is really another way of saying that it's just not that important to you to keep at it.
I'm sorry if this sounds harsh and unsupportive… but it's true. Nobody can motivate you for you. There's no magic mantra to keep repeating to yourself. There's no magic device you can wear that will make you keep going. You have to decide to do it yourself. The mantras and devices are great and can be helpful. But you still have to make the decision and keep making it everyday.
No, it doesn't sound harsh. I know exactly what you mean and do know I need to look deep into myself to stop finding excuses and do it, if like you said, losing the weigh is something I really want0 -
I totally disagree with the people saying that you are the only person who can motivate yourself, and you don't need support. Everyone could use some support and inspiration sometimes, and the approach that you don't need anyone may not necessarily work for you! Everyone is different! Yes, I motivate myself, and I do this for me and for no one else...but that doesn't mean I don't like to talk to others that know the struggle, who know how it feels, and who can offer tips and encouragement.
Obviously you know that it's you who can make the change. No matter what support we give you, we can't physically change you. But we can be here for you! I am totally on board with the user who suggested the Fitbit -- I have the Fitbit Flex and I love it! Instead of guessing how many cals I'm burning throughout the day/at the gym/doing housework, etc., it gives me a more accurate count. Plus, you can integrate it with Myfitnesspal and it works to tell you when you're consuming more calories than you expend. It's a great investment, in my opinion.
Good luck, and you absolutely CAN do this! My best suggestion is to start with small changes and make them habits. Once you see that you can handle that, you will hopefully be motivated to make even bigger changes!
Thanks and yes I'm starting small so far I have dropped coke of my diet..well it has been 25 days but do think I'm off it for good0 -
I totally disagree with the people saying that you are the only person who can motivate yourself, and you don't need support. Everyone could use some support and inspiration sometimes, and the approach that you don't need anyone may not necessarily work for you! Everyone is different! Yes, I motivate myself, and I do this for me and for no one else...but that doesn't mean I don't like to talk to others that know the struggle, who know how it feels, and who can offer tips and encouragement.
Obviously you know that it's you who can make the change. No matter what support we give you, we can't physically change you. But we can be here for you! I am totally on board with the user who suggested the Fitbit -- I have the Fitbit Flex and I love it! Instead of guessing how many cals I'm burning throughout the day/at the gym/doing housework, etc., it gives me a more accurate count. Plus, you can integrate it with Myfitnesspal and it works to tell you when you're consuming more calories than you expend. It's a great investment, in my opinion.
Good luck, and you absolutely CAN do this! My best suggestion is to start with small changes and make them habits. Once you see that you can handle that, you will hopefully be motivated to make even bigger changes!
I agree! None of us would be on this forum if support weren't helpful. I've had people in my life work to derail me in the past because of their own issues, and I hope that talking to others with similar goals will help with motivation!0 -
Hi, sent you a request hopefully we can help each other. 0
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I have little to no support in my area so I resorted to asking for some here as well. I sent you a request already and hopefully we can all keep each other going strong.0
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danaspeaks wrote: »I totally disagree with the people saying that you are the only person who can motivate yourself, and you don't need support. Everyone could use some support and inspiration sometimes, and the approach that you don't need anyone may not necessarily work for you! Everyone is different! Yes, I motivate myself, and I do this for me and for no one else...but that doesn't mean I don't like to talk to others that know the struggle, who know how it feels, and who can offer tips and encouragement.
Obviously you know that it's you who can make the change. No matter what support we give you, we can't physically change you. But we can be here for you! I am totally on board with the user who suggested the Fitbit -- I have the Fitbit Flex and I love it! Instead of guessing how many cals I'm burning throughout the day/at the gym/doing housework, etc., it gives me a more accurate count. Plus, you can integrate it with Myfitnesspal and it works to tell you when you're consuming more calories than you expend. It's a great investment, in my opinion.
Good luck, and you absolutely CAN do this! My best suggestion is to start with small changes and make them habits. Once you see that you can handle that, you will hopefully be motivated to make even bigger changes!
I agree! None of us would be on this forum if support weren't helpful. I've had people in my life work to derail me in the past because of their own issues, and I hope that talking to others with similar goals will help with motivation!
Amen, sister!0 -
The evidence is clear - support helps. Feel free to add me if you want support and no "tough love".0
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Mrsortiz7124 wrote: »I know what you mean but I just don't have your willpower. I do hope once I do this for a while I will but as of now I don't .
When you want it bad enough, you'll find a way. Regardless of how much support you have from home. Support is great, but at the end of the day, your friends and family don't make the decision to go to the gym, or NOT eat that ice cream in the fridge--you do! It comes from within. You just have to find it.
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I understand what you're saying about support. Everyone needs support. Here's the thing...for me, I had NO idea how much support I had until we had our Christmas party. My co-workers ALL got me fitness related items. An infuser water bottle, a jump rope, a pedometer etc. I cried. I had no idea. I thought I was doing it all by myself. And I am. I'm doing it by myself, but I found out that I had a HUGE cheerleading squad and support from EVERYONE. I didn't ask for the support, mostly because I didn't think I would get it. I was sooooo wrong.
You're asking us for support. You've got it. From me and everyone else that's working towards the same goal. But you're the one that's going to have to do the work.
In the end, YOU are the one who needs to support you the most. You need to be your own best friend, your own accountability partner, your own motivator.
But we are all here cheering you on when you may not hear yourself, or when you need the negativity to be drowned out...we're here for you. When you hear yourself say that you can't, we're screaming yes you can! When you want to give up, we're here saying don't you dare give up! You need support, and I, for one, am proud of you for asking for what you need. That's a hard step to take and you did it. Be proud of yourself too
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You need to support yourself and believe in yourself as well as receiving support from others. That aside, I am more then happy to support you however possible. Feel free to add me 0
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danaspeaks wrote: »I totally disagree with the people saying that you are the only person who can motivate yourself, and you don't need support. Everyone could use some support and inspiration sometimes, and the approach that you don't need anyone may not necessarily work for you! Everyone is different! Yes, I motivate myself, and I do this for me and for no one else...but that doesn't mean I don't like to talk to others that know the struggle, who know how it feels, and who can offer tips and encouragement.
Obviously you know that it's you who can make the change. No matter what support we give you, we can't physically change you. But we can be here for you! I am totally on board with the user who suggested the Fitbit -- I have the Fitbit Flex and I love it! Instead of guessing how many cals I'm burning throughout the day/at the gym/doing housework, etc., it gives me a more accurate count. Plus, you can integrate it with Myfitnesspal and it works to tell you when you're consuming more calories than you expend. It's a great investment, in my opinion.
Good luck, and you absolutely CAN do this! My best suggestion is to start with small changes and make them habits. Once you see that you can handle that, you will hopefully be motivated to make even bigger changes!
I agree! None of us would be on this forum if support weren't helpful. I've had people in my life work to derail me in the past because of their own issues, and I hope that talking to others with similar goals will help with motivation!
How have people derailed you? They can only derail you if you let them. You have the choice. They aren't forcing a gun to your head.
None of us said support is bad or couldn't help…but it sounds like the OP kinda thinks that's what's going to make her do it and it's not. She'll just have something else to blame (not saying you're blaming anything now OP). She needs to make the decision and go for it. She can do it. But she's the one that's there with her at 3 am who might have night time binges, she's the one that has the choices/decisions to make. I can be on here all day long saying go to the gym, go do this, but unless SHE wants it, she won't do it.0 -
I am trying to lose 100 lbs. I have lost 50 so far. I never thought I could make it - use the MFP tools and community. 0
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Here's everything I've learned in 3 years…
There are no magic pills. Only hard work and dedication.
I am a constant work in progress. I have ups and downs. No matter what I keep at it. I don't believe in fad diets or quick fixes. I don't believe in detoxes or cleanses. I believe in being brutally honest, maybe with a touch of snark.
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
-Wayne Dyer
It's about moderation not deprivation. There are no good/bad foods, only bad eating habits. Do or do not, there is no try. You have to want it, you have to work for it, you have to realize that only you can do it. It's a lifestyle change NOT a diet.
One link for all of the links below: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1455850-new-here-have-questions-this-may-help
Read these:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1346163-change-your-mindset
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/the-path-of-success-631437
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819925-the-basics-don-t-complicate-it
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here?hl=so+you're+new+here
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/872212-you-re-probably-eating-more-than-you-think
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1217573-so-you-want-to-start-running
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974888-in-place-of-a-road-map-2k13
TL:DR the link right above this one then ->http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet
Excuses??? http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2014/06/02/the-no-excuses-play-like-a-champion-challenge/
If you have 75+ lbs to lose 2 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 40-75 lbs to lose 1.5 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 25-40 lbs to lose 1 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 15 -25 lbs to lose 0.5 to 1.0 lbs/week is ideal
If you have less than 15 lbs to lose 0.5 lbs/week is ideal
Want to lift heavy things?
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/
Stronglifts Summary
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/560459-stronglifts-5x5-summary0 -
I am right there with you! I will add you!0
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