Hardest Part - Acceptance

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RunerRita
RunerRita Posts: 13
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
Hi,
I think I have finally gotten through to myself that I need to appreciate where I am right now; right today; at this present time and at my present age! I keep trying to say I would look better and feel better if I were only 129 pounds. Really? Really? I feel great right now and I know I have come a very long way from where I used to be. I exercise almost every single day and I am told often that I look great for being a Grandma! : ) Yes I still wear a bikini and I feel strong...why can't I just accept where I am at 137 pounds I am ok. Looking back at myself at the weight I was ( I can't even tell you because I would never weigh myself) but I wearing a size 22 pair of pants I can honestly say I was not happy, I never felt good and I was always ashamed. I just want to maintain not only my weight, but my feeling of health and happiness and I pray for the gift and grace of acceptance. I am good enough, and I am good right where I am right this very moment!
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Replies

  • Rose6300
    Rose6300 Posts: 232 Member
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    You do look great at 137. I think you're smart to accept yourself at that weight. Eight pounds really isn't that meaningful, and if you can have peace at 137, have peace at 137.
  • RunerRita
    RunerRita Posts: 13
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    Thank you Rose, I appreciate your words and peace is what it is all about!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    You look fantastic!
  • DeterminedFee201426
    DeterminedFee201426 Posts: 859 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    You look fantastic!
    yes she do

  • lngrunert
    lngrunert Posts: 204 Member
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    Last year, I reached my goal of getting below the 130 lb mark by hitting 128 on the scale. And you know what? I really didn't look that much different than I did at my starting weight of 135! It was so disappointing.

    I've since switched gears to include substantial strength training in my workouts, and even though I've neither gained or lost weight, after two months I can already see a difference. My waist is smaller and my butt hasn't been this perky in well over a decade. Looking better in and out of my clothes is much more rewarding for me than simply a random number on the scale.

    And I agree, you look amazing just as you are!
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
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    yep, you are not a teen any more. I lost the weight and I am 61 years old and I cant wear the clothes I use to. I weigh 155 but that is ok, I was up to 208. When I was younger I would weigh in 130s. Things change. I don't wear those short skirts any more, wish I could. Be happy for the way you look. I think it gets worse the older we get but I am going to be happy to be in my smaller clothes.
  • sun_fish
    sun_fish Posts: 864 Member
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    You don't say how long you have been at 137, but if you just hit that recently, your mind may need some time to catch up to what your body really looks like. I know for me, after losing 68 pounds, and now after 4 months at maintenance, I still haven't completely wrapped my head around what I really look like. It's getting better each day though.

    If this isn't the case, and even if it is, I strongly recommend doing some resistance training. You may find it changes your body more to your liking, without needing to lose that extra weight.
  • InnocentLunatic
    InnocentLunatic Posts: 35 Member
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    I am still working on losing weight, but my advice to you is that it is more important to feel strong than to have the scale read some sort of "ideal" number. Especially as there is a point where losing more weight hurts your health, although that point varies from person to person. As a grandchild, I can tell you it is horrifying to watch one of your grandparents wither away, so please make sure to put your health first!
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
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    I don't know how tall you are, but you look great at the weight you're at. If you look at any chart, there is a range of weight for our height that encompasses different builds. The highes of my height - 5'3" is around 140 and the low end is about 115. 140 is too heavy for me, but I would never sustain 115 (once, coming out of the hospital after an exploded appendix). I weigh 126 (or will when I lose the 2lb I gained in recovering from a broken leg). I wear a size 4, which I am pretty delighted about.

    Yes, it does take time to adjust to a "new" body. I spend months picking out too large clothing sizes because I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I no longer wore that size. Now, I'm like, "oh, yeah - I wear a small." ;)
  • SomeNights246
    SomeNights246 Posts: 807 Member
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    47Jacqueline wrote: »

    Yes, it does take time to adjust to a "new" body. I spend months picking out too large clothing sizes because I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I no longer wore that size. Now, I'm like, "oh, yeah - I wear a small." ;)

    It really, really does. I've had my 'new' body for longer than a year now, and I still have moments where I forget what size I am. People asked me a lot around Christmas. My response every time was like "I don't know. Xsmall, small, or medium". They're reply was "That's a pretty big range... which one?" lol But I really never could remember.

    To the OP, you look amazing. If you lost the seven or so pounds, it would probably be vanity weight. I agree with the others. If you can have peace at your current weight, do so.
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,484 Member
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    RunerRita, nice to meet another bikini wearing grandma. I started wearing one after a 40 year hiatus and found it both liberating and confidence building.

    I totally understand the numbers game going on in your head. Mine was 105 ( I'm 5'1) and I was stuck at 110 for over 6 months. I had decided to go into maintenance ( no counting or weighing) and accept that was the best weight for me. 2 months later I hopped on the scale and the extra 5 had gone! No idea how or why, but it has stayed off for about 4 years.
    As everyone always says the last few lbs are the hardest. If you are still eating at a deficit; try eating at maintenance for a couple of months, if you aren't doing any resistance work; try adding it into your routine. Swimming, or body weight exercises are good if you don't want to do weights ( I must say though, in your pic you do look as though you have already done resistance of some kind)

    You're not good enough; you're great.
    Cheers, h.
  • Roxiegirl2008
    Roxiegirl2008 Posts: 756 Member
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    You look great! I know how you feel though. I was complaining to my trainer about the last few pounds and she told me to pick a range that I was comfortable with and that way I would be able to enjoy some of life's pleasures and be successful at keeping the weight off. I am at the high end of the range now. She has shifted my workout plan to building the muscles that I have...I guess becoming more stream line.
  • hkristine1
    hkristine1 Posts: 950 Member
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    sun_fish wrote: »
    You don't say how long you have been at 137, but if you just hit that recently, your mind may need some time to catch up to what your body really looks like. I know for me, after losing 68 pounds, and now after 4 months at maintenance, I still haven't completely wrapped my head around what I really look like. It's getting better each day though.

    If this isn't the case, and even if it is, I strongly recommend doing some resistance training. You may find it changes your body more to your liking, without needing to lose that extra weight.

    This is me... I just dropped 44 lbs (goal was 45 lbs, but I've lost the motivation to lose that last one - I know it sounds silly, but whatevs - it's where I'm at.) and still feel like I'm "fat," even though I'm actually 4 lbs less than what I really ever imagined I would be. I have just gotten here, and I wonder if I will ever start seeing myself as I truly am rather than as still being overweight.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    Congratulations. Not just on the weight loss, but on the acceptance. That's more important.
  • Azurite27
    Azurite27 Posts: 554 Member
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    Congrats on getting to a healthy weight. Just keep telling yourself it's about health, not vanity. Find a fitness-related goal to shoot for without worrying about losing more weight... just stay in your healthy range.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,039 Member
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    Congrats on getting zen with the number on the scale.

    The doctor gave me a range of 125 to 135, I gave myself a range of 125 to 131. To be honest, at my height, 5'8" I truly can't tell the difference between 125 and 135 because I wear business clothes most of the time in the mirror. I do feel the difference, however, between weighing 174 pounds and what I weigh now, I focus on that - the incredible feeling of being lighter. I don't think I could carry anything that weighs 46 pounds all day.
  • RaspberryTickleChicken
    RaspberryTickleChicken Posts: 629 Member
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    Congrats & you DO look awesome ... period ... not 'look great for your age' nonsense. ;)

    I think it's really easy to get fixated on a particular number and anything less - we internalize it as a failure.

    The reality is that often times loosing the physical wait is the easy part & within a defined period of time. Our brains on the other hand takes awhile to sort of catch up if you will.

    As long as you feel wonderful and vibrant just make a 'Note to Self' to tell your brain to hush & be content. As time passes, your brain will get the message. :)

  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    RunerRita wrote: »
    I am good enough, and I am good right where I am right this very moment!

    Yes, you are and keep telling yourself that.

    Finding acceptance will be hard as we live in a society where the constant message is pushed that the way we look and our youthfulness correlates with our value as human beings. However that is an entirely false message and trying to build self esteem upon that notion is like trying to build a house on shifting sands.

    The true things which underpin self esteem are timeless:
    • Living purposefully
    • Living consciously
    • Living with integrity
    • Self responsibility
    • Self assertiveness
    • Self acceptance

    Work on these areas, consider how you embody those traits now and how you can build on them and happiness and peace will follow.
  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,657 Member
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    That "goal" weight is an elusive beast. It seems to always keep moving away from us doesn't it? I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never be at 12%BF, never have a six pack and will always have a little pudge in the middle. I am ok with that. And yes, you look fantastic.
  • CLAkeeno
    CLAkeeno Posts: 8 Member
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    You look great! Just like age, weight is nothing but a number. If you FEEL great at your current weight, then more power to you. Keep it up!

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