Greetings

Rabblehey

This is my first time posting in a forum such as this and I'm hoping it will help with my weight loss goals. I am getting married in 7 months and desperately want to lose enough weight to feel good about myself in photos. It's been a couple of years since I've seen a photo of myself and been happy about it. I was always thin growing up, but once I started working full time 2 years ago I quickly ballooned.

I've been on and off the wagon over the last couple of years. I usually do well for a few weeks, but it always seems I'm derailed by illness. I have bad allergies and I work with children in a public library, I am constantly exposed to the worst of the contagious illnesses travelling through the city and I'm not really allowed time off to recover. When I get sick, my diet and exercise routine ends and it takes me months to get back on track. On the plus side, I haven't been gaining any weight when I do fall off the wagon. Just weekly scooting up and down the same 3-5 lbs. My fiance and I cook a lot and we usually eat pretty healthy, unless we eat out. But even when we do go out for junk and burgers, we always split it to keep from over eating. We don't eat out nearly as much as we used to, thanks to wallet constraint and the fact that our schedules are opposite. He works 3rd shift Friday-Monday and I work mornings and evenings during the week and sometimes on Saturdays. Having an inconsistent schedule can make it really hard to keep a routine, but I've recently purchased planners for scheduling my weekly workouts and keeping a food log. I prefer the paper and pencil log to MyFitnessPal, though I do try to log what I eat online occasionally to make sure I'm keeping a good eye for portion control.

My biggest problem is weekend nights. My fiance works and we only have one car so I'm trapped at home. I'm usually so hungry when I get off work on weekends and exhausted from a long week. My job can sometimes be physically draining, but mostly mentally and emotionally. Once I plop down on the couch on the weekend, I can't move. I order take out and veg out the rest of the evening. I would say that habit is the cause of my weight gain over the last two years and I'm trying really hard to break it. My newest rule is takeout only once a month and I can say that I don't binge as much as I used to, it now becomes 3-4 meals instead of 1 (baby steps!). I also have learned that the pull of the couch is great and I try to set goals for what needs to get done before I sit.

My current exercise routine is to work out at least 30 minutes every day, except for Wednesday because we have dinner with friends that evening. I've been trying to work out more on my days off. I use Wii Fit and do a combo of yoga, ab work, and stepping. On days off I do Jillian's 30 Day Shred, mostly for the strength and ab workouts. I would like to add more cardio, but it is difficult because I struggle with breathing. My doctor has said I don't have asthma, but I have chronic head and chest congestion. When I do cardio (especially when my allergies are really bad) my chest starts to burn in a way I've only felt when I had pneumonia as a child. I cough up gunk and struggle to breath, which often gives me panic attacks. My general doctor gave me an inhaler, though it doesn't seem to help. The only thing that gives me some relief is mucinex, which I basically have to take everyday, just to function. These issues started about 2 years ago after a nasty cold and exposure to pertussis. Responses from doctors seem to be, "I dunno, you look healthy to me!" So I gave up trying to get help and I'm just hoping it will work itself out. I do love walking and when the weather is warmer I plan to do more of it. My apartment is way too small for exercise equipment, so DVD's and WiiFit are my go to.

As for food, I don't believe in complete restriction. If I ban things from my diet I can't overcome the cravings and crash HARD. I restrict carbs most days, because I love beer and if I want to keep it in my life I have to stop eating bread. I have stopped drinking every day and have started sharing beer with my fiance, so I savor that 1/2 beer with my meal. I also haven't been worrying about fat content, though I do pay attention to portion control. I eat olives, cheeses, avocados, and nuts in small portions. My work lunch tends to look more like a snack, I call it toddler food because it reminds me of what my parents fed me as a kid. Apple slices, a handful of nuts, a couple of olives, maybe some baby carrots. I've found that a few healthy fat bites in my lunch make me feel full and satisfied. I don't feel as deprived, even though my lunch is usually 300-500 calories. At dinner I've been attempting to fill up on veggies and only eat pasta once a week. I allow myself one cheat day, usually when we eat with friends, so that I don't have to feel guilty about eating a piece of bread or having an extra glass of wine while spending time with people we love.

All-in-all, I would like to look hot on my wedding day, but mostly I want to be happy in my body again. I want to be able to fit into the clothes that I love and be able to buy new clothes that make me feel good. I'm sick of shopping trips ending in tears. I want to know that I can do anything I want. Go on an extra long hike? Heck yeah. Go white water rafting? Yes, sir! Ride my bike to work without worrying I'm going to pass out? That would be nice.

I know this is probably too long for most to read, but it felt great to be able to walk through my current struggle/ goals/ weight loss story. I'm hoping this community will help keep me on track and focused, especially when I've gotten off my routine or I'm dealing with intense, violent food cravings. It would also be awesome if any of you could share some success stories. I know that people can do this, but when you've been in the beginning stages over and over again for years, it makes it really hard to see the other side. I just don't want to fail myself again and I miss wearing short skirts and slinky dresses!