Progress Thread

amandaturns30

Here are two pictures of me at just about 200 pounds from Christmas 2014, at a wedding and on vacation in the Dominican Republic. I booked the vacation in January 2014 and said to myself that I would be in shape for the trip, proud and light and glowing with health. I never even really tried all throughout 2014. That total apathy scares me more than all of the yo-yo dieting and unfulfilled vows to lose weight. (Note, puffing on about half a cigar is a 2-3 times a year indulgence, an odd one for a girl, but I am not a smoker so need no admonitions there.)

I was very heavy in college (depression), then got my weight to the mid-130s at 5'2" in my mid-twenties without much effort, just being active and eating sensibly without much real thought (happily married, ran a marathon). Then I started law school. I had a gradual weight gain and terrible nutrition but tried to stay active and try new physical things during the first two years (CrossFit, deadlifted 250 lb, did a 500 mile, 5 day bike ride). Then during the third year of law school I kept stress eating and stopped exercising and connecting to my body and had a weight spike (from mid-160s to 190something in less than a year). I was stressed and miserable. I binge eat. Add in the stress of a job search and then finally a (much loved, but challenging) new job after law school and there I was in December 2014. Wearing size 18 dresses and huffing and miserable during a short, steep hike to a waterfall.

I have done a Whole 30, tried Weight Watchers, counted calories, eaten intuitively ... all could work and are decent approaches in my mind. What was always missing for me was the mental piece. The tools are tools. They can help but will not build a bridge between failure/quitting and success. I am here on MFP because it is free, the Before and After thread is amazing, and I like data (with Weight Watchers, you still have to track every bite but don't have the macro breakdown readily available). Also, I want to emphasize fruits and veggies and lean protein but still have the accountability of calories and portion control if I do wander into a bottle of wine or box of Kraft mac and cheese or Nerd candies (a few of my weaknesses).

I am a pescatarian (no poultry or red meat). I do love to cook and haven't done so regularly in months, so making space for that is something I want to embrace as part of this process.

As a perennial starter of diets -- what's different this time? I can guess weight or volume of food to the ounce (yes, I've quizzed myself). I'm a hoarder of knowledge and have read all the books on health and nutrition. I know what I'm putting into my mouth and how many calories are hidden in that nice healthy looking piece of fish soaked in butter at the Cheesecake Factory. I know how good it feels to finish a marathon but still gave up running for almost four years. So, what's different this time?

Well, for one, I turn 30 this year. And my father died of cancer in the fall. He was a healthy active guy and the cancer was a terrible mischance, but it was still sobering to see the ravages of illness in a body. No reason to make your chances for a miserable death even worse by eating yourself fat. So, I'm turning 30, and pretty tickled with my life in so many ways (job, marriage, etc). Time to get this *kitten* done.

Also - I'm super-motivated to lose 50 lbs and train for long distances races again. If I lose 50 by my birthday in mid-July, awesome, but if not that's cool too. I mostly care about the process. What feels even worse than being fat is making poor decisions every day, doing things that I know hurt myself. So I just want to choose good things.

Trying to do four cardio sessions a week (30 min, 30 min, 1 hr, 90 min, anywhere from sprints to a brisk hike) and two total body strength sessions (push ups, squats, lunges, presses, basic heavy-ish dumb bell *kitten*). Throw in some yoga and classes perhaps. Do squats or push ups or planks for even 60 seconds when I wake up in the morning. Want to be back to running 10 miles slow and steady by summer. Maybe more.

Also, for those that like progress pics, here's some progress in reverse:

165-170ish in December 2011


Somewhere in the high 130s in summer 2010 (would love to be back to this size but ripped from lifting weights, someday)(This was a size 6, my secret maybe-get-there goal is a size four pair of snug, comfy Gap jeans purchased years ago and never quite fit into, but health and one day at a time for now)

Hope to post a few pics of yummy meals, progress photos, etc here to keep accountable. Maybe even be honest about some slip ups. Feel free to follow along.

To all of you kicking *kitten* or just sticking it out -- major props. This is not easy. There are women here who I would want to strangle if I got myself in a negative mindset because they want to go from a gorgeous 145 to a svelte 125, and there are women here who might kill to be my weight of 200 -- I think we are all the same. Working toward health and self-acceptance, learning to love ourselves the way we are and embrace change for life to be even better. Moving to a better place, and the right place for us, whatever the number on the scale. I don't know where that place (and weight) will be for me but do know that I want my body to be an awesome thing that helps me bound through an adventurous life. I also realize that whether with weight bouncing between 135 and 150 or 190 and 200, I have had eating patterns that are deeply ingrained and tied to negative emotions. That is the main thing to tackle and change. Happy 2015!

NextPage

Your plan is well rounded - you know what needs to be done and now it is time to make it happen. Happy 2015 to you too - this is the year you meet your goals.

Liftng4Lis

Go get it!