Have u ever felt like u've never accomplished anything?

healthyandfitgirl14
healthyandfitgirl14 Posts: 413 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am a freshmen in community college (I end this semester in 2 weeks) and I just feel so average and i feel like i haven't contributed to the world and haven't done anything special. i've had friends who have received numerous awards, some go to ivy league schools, gotten scholarships, leadership positions, amazing internships, and then there's me. i only graduated high school and now go to a CC and i have no idea what i want to major in! i just feel like i'm not special and haven't accomplished anything and can't brag about anything :/ does anyone else feel this way? ugh, for once I want to do something special! i want to be recognized!
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Replies

  • naturesgate
    naturesgate Posts: 45 Member
    We all have those moments.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,259 Member
    My daughter wasn't sure what she wanted to do after high school. She did volunteer work while she was in high school and really enjoyed it. After she graduated, she started at a community college and then decided to put her education on hold and volunteer with City Year for a year. She moved to Baton Rouge and got a volunteer position as an aide in a kindergarten class. She got $5,000 dollars when the year was up to put toward her education. She then moved to New Orleans, got a job as as aide in low income private school in another kindergarten class and went to a community college down there for a year. She is now up in Boston finishing her education and has decided she either wants to teach or work with underprivileged children in some capacity. She will have a great resume when she finishes up. Sure, all her friends have their degrees and careers, but she wasn't ready for that....she wanted to give her life some purpose and help others at the same time first.

    The most important mark you can make on the world is usually one you will never get acolades for. But anyone can make a difference. :)
  • faithsimmons526
    faithsimmons526 Posts: 162 Member
    Ahhh ... but you're wrong .

    You ARE special, and you DO contribute to the world in a huge way ... you just don't know it yet.

    Unfortunately, who you are and what you do might not be things that you will ever get an award for. And that's the problem, isn't it? We are brought up to compete and to accomplish ... if we don't achieve and 'become somebody' then who will we be? I can assure you that the problem is not with you, but is with the 'system'.

    I spent years and years trying to 'be somebody' to make my parents proud and to be accepted by society ... a society that is so wound up with trying to 'be somebody' itself that it probably would never have noticed anyway. The reason I did it -- and most do it -- is that I didn't know that I was ALREADY somebody.

    We are all invited into this life to be ourselves and to create that which fulfills us. And we're capable of doing just that in a huge way. Spend some time getting to know and accept yourself ... then do what makes sense to YOU and nobody else. In the end you will be far more successful than you could ever imagine.

    May I suggest you check out "Think on These Things" by Krishnamurti? It's the most important book I've ever read in my life, and I think you might enjoy it too.

    Best wishes
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    The average person is average.
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
    The average person is average.

    Butterfly_zpsbaf1e4a5.gif
  • stardancer7
    stardancer7 Posts: 276 Member
    Daily. I've been a high school drama teacher for 26 years.

    I must say that I myself would never ever be happy if I had to wait for external validation. I do get it, sometimes, in unexpected, joyous and wonderful ways, but they are rare enough to be special.

    Find what you love to do, give it your best and get the joy from that--it's what I try to do, now that I know I'm not going to be a rock star or get an Academy Award or even have a clean house every time my daughters bring home their friends. It doesn't mean I don't have those days when I feel similar to the way you've described, but it does mean they get easier to get through.
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
    If you feel like you haven't done enough then go do something :) Go out and be kind to people, it'll make you feel good, it'll brighten their day, and it doesn't cost anything. Go volunteer, take a roadtrip with someone, learn a new skill, anything that'll enrich you as a person and make you feel more interesting. I'm an introvert, I understand how this feels because I used to be very withdrawn, it takes a lot for me to make eye contact with strangers but there's nothing better than catching someone's eye, smiling, and having them smile back. You don't have to accomplish something huge to gain self worth, it can be small stuff that makes the biggest difference, and, honestly, your friends who you think have done a lot probably feel like they don't amount to much too. It's all a matter of perspective.
  • healthyandfitgirl14
    healthyandfitgirl14 Posts: 413 Member
    The average person is average.

    Butterfly_zpsbaf1e4a5.gif

    indeed, but i don't want to be the average person...i want to be special! i want to be recognized! i want to stand out and have unique accomplishments! average is boring and right now my life is boring
  • healthyandfitgirl14
    healthyandfitgirl14 Posts: 413 Member
    If you feel like you haven't done enough then go do something :) Go out and be kind to people, it'll make you feel good, it'll brighten their day, and it doesn't cost anything. Go volunteer, take a roadtrip with someone, learn a new skill, anything that'll enrich you as a person and make you feel more interesting. I'm an introvert, I understand how this feels because I used to be very withdrawn, it takes a lot for me to make eye contact with strangers but there's nothing better than catching someone's eye, smiling, and having them smile back. You don't have to accomplish something huge to gain self worth, it can be small stuff that makes the biggest difference, and, honestly, your friends who you think have done a lot probably feel like they don't amount to much too. It's all a matter of perspective.

    Hmm good idea about the volunteering! I volunteered at the ASPCA back in high school (for like 2 months) and my mom got bitten by a cat so we didn't go down there anymore :p I was in a volunteer club all four years but I was just in it to put it on my college apps so it wasn't very meaningful, but I think I'd like to go to a soup kitchen and serve the homeless people.
  • boatsie77
    boatsie77 Posts: 480 Member
    Sweetie...it's not about YOU--it's about you doing something to make another feel special. The sooner you learn that, the sooner your feelings of inadequacy will vanish.
  • Darius66
    Darius66 Posts: 62 Member
    I am a freshmen in community college (I end this semester in 2 weeks) and I just feel so average and i feel like i haven't contributed to the world and haven't done anything special. i've had friends who have received numerous awards, some go to ivy league schools, gotten scholarships, leadership positions, amazing internships, and then there's me. i only graduated high school and now go to a CC and i have no idea what i want to major in! i just feel like i'm not special and haven't accomplished anything and can't brag about anything :/ does anyone else feel this way? ugh, for once I want to do something special! i want to be recognized!

    I used to feel like you do. But I rescued 2 dogs and now even though I sometimes feel like I have not done anything of importance in the world I remember that to my dogs I am the most important person in the world. :)
  • laurynwithawhy
    laurynwithawhy Posts: 385 Member
    I feel like this all the time. At 26 with a crap job and a degree from a "good" school that would be more useful to me as toilet paper. I'm always comparing myself to friends and former classmates and I feel like a loser. But my friend gave me some great advice; what looks like success doesn't matter - what feels like success is what matters. Just because those people's lives look great doesn't mean they are any better off than you are. Everyone's path in life is different, just do what makes you happy.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    no. i'm awesome.
  • faithsimmons526
    faithsimmons526 Posts: 162 Member
    indeed, but i don't want to be the average person...i want to be special! i want to be recognized! i want to stand out and have unique accomplishments! average is boring and right now my life is boring

    Do you ever wonder WHY you feel this way? What can recognition give you that you don't already have ... is it a reward that's actually worth having? Or is it something that you've been convinced would be better than what you already have? What if you got it and it wasn't so hot after all?

    So here's a thought: Create something!! Take what you know and what interests you, and let your imagination go. If nothing comes, add a twist to it. WHEN something comes, this is your first creation. Don't worry if it isn't great ... it's a starting point. And a success of sorts. Then, start working on your second success. THAT'S how successful people operate.
  • healthyandfitgirl14
    healthyandfitgirl14 Posts: 413 Member
    I am a freshmen in community college (I end this semester in 2 weeks) and I just feel so average and i feel like i haven't contributed to the world and haven't done anything special. i've had friends who have received numerous awards, some go to ivy league schools, gotten scholarships, leadership positions, amazing internships, and then there's me. i only graduated high school and now go to a CC and i have no idea what i want to major in! i just feel like i'm not special and haven't accomplished anything and can't brag about anything :/ does anyone else feel this way? ugh, for once I want to do something special! i want to be recognized!

    I used to feel like you do. But I rescued 2 dogs and now even though I sometimes feel like I have not done anything of importance in the world I remember that to my dogs I am the most important person in the world. :)

    awww thank you for doing that :) i love when people rescue animals! your dogs are beautiful and i'm glad you provide them with a good home :)
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    your profile says you're 35? am i missing something?
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
    no. i'm awesome.

    LOL, yeah, me too. :drinker:

    OP: Get back to me when you are on your death bed. Not everyone peaks in high school or college. You have lots of time to accomplish things. You even have time to fail a thousand times and then finally accomplish something. Good luck!
  • healthyandfitgirl14
    healthyandfitgirl14 Posts: 413 Member
    your profile says you're 35? am i missing something?

    no, i'm really 19. :laugh:
    when i signed up it set my age at 35 and i guess i never changed it :o
  • sam308lbs
    sam308lbs Posts: 1,936 Member
    i am 27 and all i have achieved so far is diddly and squat.But hey i am not done yet.I know exactly what i want from life and i will get it one day.
  • healthyandfitgirl14
    healthyandfitgirl14 Posts: 413 Member
    i am 27 and all i have achieved so far is diddly and squat.But hey i am not done yet.I know exactly what i want from life and i will get it one day.

    you've lost 50 pounds! that's a huge achievement! you should be so proud of yourself! :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
    i wish i could say the same, except i always fail. :grumble: i have no one but myself to blame, but i just hope one day i can tell people i've lost 30-35 pounds with pride, instead of the measly 4 pounds and in weeks it's back to square one.
  • sam308lbs
    sam308lbs Posts: 1,936 Member
    i am 27 and all i have achieved so far is diddly and squat.But hey i am not done yet.I know exactly what i want from life and i will get it one day.

    you've lost 50 pounds! that's a huge achievement! you should be so proud of yourself! :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
    i wish i could say the same, except i always fail. :grumble: i have no one but myself to blame, but i just hope one day i can tell people i've lost 30-35 pounds with pride, instead of the measly 4 pounds and in weeks it's back to square one.
    Dont be so hard on yourself.Your confidence is inspiring actually.So many 19 yr olds have eating disorders/body dysmorphia and even the fit ones are so self conscious whereas you are rockin that bikini likes its nobody's business
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.”

    Tl;dr? Get off your butt or learn to accept mediocrity.
  • stevenleagle
    stevenleagle Posts: 293 Member
    At 19 (arguably even at 35), the world IS your oyster.

    Draw up your list of goals and aim high. Goal setting is the first thing to do.

    Also - as others have said - remember its not always about you accomplishing things for yourself but what you can accomplish for others.
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
    Well if what you're looking for is recognition you could always be a famous persons girlfriend or something.
  • Sandytoes71
    Sandytoes71 Posts: 463 Member
    Sweetie...it's not about YOU--it's about you doing something to make another feel special. The sooner you learn that, the sooner your feelings of inadequacy will vanish.

    I agree with this 100%. Very well put and so true!
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Well if what you're looking for is recognition you could always be a famous persons girlfriend or something.

    Scandals work wonders
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
    My dog is basically perfect. At least I can feel awesome for raising her to be a champ. That's all I got. I'm ok with that for now.
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
    It is very hard to know what you want to do right out of high school for most people. I went to university because it was expected of me but I didn't know what I wanted to "be". Now three careers, lots of education later, I have finally found a job I really love. But I do feel "not special" sometimes and wonder what mark I will leave on the world when I'm gone. HOwever, now I try not to think so globally, and think - I made a difference in rescuing a dog. I make a difference to my friends and family. Sure, in the scope of the world it's maybe miniscule, but to these people, I do matter. It may take time, but you'll find somewhere you can make a difference. Also, don't forget to have fun! I am going to plan a tour by myself (well, with a group) to Italy for next year because I've always wanted to go and am tired of waiting!
  • berriboobear
    berriboobear Posts: 524 Member
    Constantly. I do acknowledge, however, that I'm still early in life and there's so much unknown right now. I think it's easy for me to crave that end result where I have found my place and my someone, and am comfortable where I am.
  • hdawg412
    hdawg412 Posts: 10 Member
    This is normal. I am in my late 30's and have to catch myself from comparing myself to friends who just bought a McMansion, received tenure, etc. It will always be something, you are enough and have your own path. Success is looking back on accumulated baby steps over time. You are just beginning your adult life and have a long arc to build YOUR own story.

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