Trying And Failing, why do I do this to myself?
Jenni19453
Posts: 12 Member
Okay, we’re into the 9th day of the New Year and I am back to where I was, if not worse, when I started this whole thing.
I’m going to make yet another attempt at losing weight… and this time, I’d like to keep it off.
I spent Jan 2013- April 2014 dieting my *kitten* off to lose weight for my May 2014 nuptuals. And it worked! I lost close to 25 pounds. But around April something weird happened. I stopped being as diligent… I gave in to more cravings… and even though my wedding (and my wedding dress) was a mere month away, I started letting myself go again.
Why did I do that?
The wedding took place at an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica, and you can bet that all bets were off. From that point forward, there was no restraint.
And that’s how, eight months later, I’ve ended up back where I was before I started this whole thing. Close to 200 pounds and miserable.
How did I let this happen? Almost a year ago, you could have quoted me saying “I don’t ever want to be that fat again.” And yet, as each day went by I gave in to every temptation and every whim and ate what I wanted and I sure as hell stopped working out.
What is wrong with me? Why is it, when I get into this stage, I don’t remember how happy I was, how good I looked, how awesome it was to shop for clothes again? I only remembered the hunger, the counting calories, the deprivation, not being able to have cheesesteaks and nachos and wings.
Well I’m going to try again. Back to counting calories and exercising. It’s been a slow start but here I go. I just wonder, if I could figure out what’s wrong with my brain, could I be successful?
Is there anyone else out there who feels this way?
I’m going to make yet another attempt at losing weight… and this time, I’d like to keep it off.
I spent Jan 2013- April 2014 dieting my *kitten* off to lose weight for my May 2014 nuptuals. And it worked! I lost close to 25 pounds. But around April something weird happened. I stopped being as diligent… I gave in to more cravings… and even though my wedding (and my wedding dress) was a mere month away, I started letting myself go again.
Why did I do that?
The wedding took place at an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica, and you can bet that all bets were off. From that point forward, there was no restraint.
And that’s how, eight months later, I’ve ended up back where I was before I started this whole thing. Close to 200 pounds and miserable.
How did I let this happen? Almost a year ago, you could have quoted me saying “I don’t ever want to be that fat again.” And yet, as each day went by I gave in to every temptation and every whim and ate what I wanted and I sure as hell stopped working out.
What is wrong with me? Why is it, when I get into this stage, I don’t remember how happy I was, how good I looked, how awesome it was to shop for clothes again? I only remembered the hunger, the counting calories, the deprivation, not being able to have cheesesteaks and nachos and wings.
Well I’m going to try again. Back to counting calories and exercising. It’s been a slow start but here I go. I just wonder, if I could figure out what’s wrong with my brain, could I be successful?
Is there anyone else out there who feels this way?
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Replies
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Willpower.
You can do it!0 -
1. You dont seem to have fully taken in how you are losing weight.
2. You dont seem to have had a maintenance plan and just reverted to all the bad habits rather than a lifestyle change.
3. Its only 25lbs you cna deal with that in six months.
4. Maybe take pics and video yourself now, so you have a reminder. Also work out your maintenance strategy.0 -
It may be time to try a different approach. You don't have to be deprived of the fods you love, you just have to find a way to make them work. Get more exercise to earn extra calories. Make healthier alternatives at home. I know for me, if I think of all the things I supposedly can't have while losing weight, I'll want them all the more. Another possibility is restricting 6 days a week and then having a bit of a splurge day. As long as the calories average out of the week, you should still lose.
I also think your motivation has something to do with it and that this is a fairly common occurrance. When we lose weight for a certain event, we never think of what happens after that event. Even folks that set a cetain goal weight might think that way if they are very restrictive during their weight loss. It's like "woo, I did it, bring on the buffet!".
While you lose, give some thought to how you'll maintain. Talk to folks who've gotten then and see how they're doing it. There's a whole section of this board dedicated to maintaining and tons of info out there.0 -
There is nothing wrong with your brain. But you need to stop feeling deprived. You can eat whatever you want if you eat in the right quantity. Yes, that piece of cheesecake or the wings are very high in calories. So, only let yourself have these on treat days. Or exercise like crazy to work off the calories.
Just don't think that everyone else is so different than you. Yes there are some here that are gung ho and perfect with their diets and exercise routines and genuinely love what they are doing. That is great but that is really not the vast majority of people who are struggling out there every day with wanting to eat what they want to eat!!
You can do this. You did it before and you can do it again.0 -
Take a deep breath! Instead of beating yourself up about it, just start consistently logging. Don't think of it as a new years resolution. Do it for now. Start NOW. just start logging consistently and staying within your daily calorie range. If you can't do a full blown work out, just go for a 15-20 minute walk 4-5x a week if that is all you can make time for. Every little bit helps. Don't restrict foods because that leads to failure! Just start by focusing on staying within your calorie goal! Find a BMR calculator online to make sure you aren't trying to have too FEW calories. that can lead to being overly hungry and then end up going overboard. it'll be okay. the weight will come off eventually. if you do it slowly and steadily, it will STAY off!0
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It has to be a lifetime thing. Not just something you do to yourself every 6 months or so. It has to be a sustainable lifelong plan. You can do it.0
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Last time you were on a time crunch. This time, you have all the time to do it right.
Doing it right means choosing a moderate calorie goal (TDEE-20%, or aiming to lose 1lb per week.)
Doing it right means finding some activity that you LOVE to do, that you crave so it doesn't feel like work, or even if it feels like work, it's rewarding work.
Doing it right means making room in your life for cheesesteaks, and nachos, and wings. Not every day, but there are ways to be able to enjoy those things and still stay within your calorie goal.
Doing it right means forgiving yourself when you do make mistakes--which will happen-- instead of demanding perfection and throwing everything away once you realize you aren't perfect.
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Believe it or not, most people, even the skinny ones, can't eat nachos & wings 24/7 without gaining. Most Hollywood stars eat a very clean & lean diet and tons of salads and very low calories. it's not just the heavy/overweight people who have to sacrifice and go without. It's everyone except that 1% of the world's population that has a freaky body that simply can't put on weight. That's the exception, not the rule. You're not alone and your weight is not unique. I'm 5'4" 125 lbs and even I can't eat that stuff without packing on 20 lbs in 2 months. Understanding that 99% of woman/men have the same choices and struggles in regards to proper nutrition. Sounds like you haven't adapted "proper nutrition" you're wanting to be skinny and still be eating like miss piggy. That doesn't work for any of us. A true change in food selection is required for permanent and lasting results. 80% of your diet throughout the year should be lean & clean. 80% over 12 months, new year, repeat cycle. You sound like 20% is lean & clean ... 80% is junk food. Flip it to find success. And at the end of the day, when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, pray and ask God to help you learn how to care for the beautiful body he blessed you with.0
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Welcome back! Congratulations on your successful weight loss and your wedding!
You have not failed. You succeeded in losing the weight. Now do the same things all your life.
"Dieting" indicates a temporary activity. I am not dieting. I am learning to live appropriately.
All this weight loss stuff is a head game. It is a change in thinking and learning new habits. Once a habit is acquired, the behavior is easier.
Habits take a while to lock in. Unless it is hard drugs or potato chips. Both cause more dopamine to float around in your system so you really do feel better. What's wrong with your brain? Nothing. It is reacting perfectly, just as designed. Search for "dopamine and binge eating" and you may gain some insight why we really like fatty, salty, sweet foods.
Many posts on here indicate people gained weight after a big life event, either good or bad. Big changes can upset learned habits, and getting married is certainly a big change.
You know you can do it - you did it before. Just keep logging. You will get there.
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Jenni19453 wrote: »Okay, we’re into the 9th day of the New Year and I am back to where I was, if not worse, when I started this whole thing.
I’m going to make yet another attempt at losing weight… and this time, I’d like to keep it off.
I spent Jan 2013- April 2014 dieting my *kitten* off to lose weight for my May 2014 nuptuals. And it worked! I lost close to 25 pounds. But around April something weird happened. I stopped being as diligent… I gave in to more cravings… and even though my wedding (and my wedding dress) was a mere month away, I started letting myself go again.
Why did I do that?
The wedding took place at an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica, and you can bet that all bets were off. From that point forward, there was no restraint.
And that’s how, eight months later, I’ve ended up back where I was before I started this whole thing. Close to 200 pounds and miserable.
How did I let this happen? Almost a year ago, you could have quoted me saying “I don’t ever want to be that fat again.” And yet, as each day went by I gave in to every temptation and every whim and ate what I wanted and I sure as hell stopped working out.
What is wrong with me? Why is it, when I get into this stage, I don’t remember how happy I was, how good I looked, how awesome it was to shop for clothes again? I only remembered the hunger, the counting calories, the deprivation, not being able to have cheesesteaks and nachos and wings.
Well I’m going to try again. Back to counting calories and exercising. It’s been a slow start but here I go. I just wonder, if I could figure out what’s wrong with my brain, could I be successful?
Is there anyone else out there who feels this way?
Wow, that sounds a lot like me (except it was my first Christmas since I lost weight). I gorged myself for 4 months then pretended to get back to dieting for another 4 months. All I can say is keep trying! I've gone up and down a couple times and it seems to be sticking this time. It's a big change to make, and it isn't easy. Allow yourself a bit of a break. Just think of it as life's ups and downs, and not as restarting! You're still just doing this for the first time, you just had the same hiccough so many of us do.0 -
Yes there are some here that are gung ho and perfect with their diets and exercise routines and genuinely love what they are doing.
Bahahahaha NO. Some people just hide it better.
I have a reputation for being one of those "perfect trackers" amongst my friends - they see me packing lunches and talking about eating high protein. But I order out all the time from home, and eat tons of trash.
The trick is to eat well most of the time, and create space in your life for the cheating/treating.
We all "cheat" - that's part of the point of tracking calories! To make sure we can without gaining the weight back!
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The problem we(I am rowing in the same boat next to you sister!!) is we think it is a problem that we fixed. We aren't broken with a problem. We are using the wrong tools. When we get off our wagon we have to come back to our tools we know.
I realize this time around I won't be cured. I am not sick. I am human and will power is a muscle that will get stronger the longer I use it. Also practice makes permanent.
We can have it all......juuuust not all at once!
Cheers to sticking around this time0 -
Yep! Make it all fit.Yes there are some here that are gung ho and perfect with their diets and exercise routines and genuinely love what they are doing.
Bahahahaha NO. Some people just hide it better.
I have a reputation for being one of those "perfect trackers" amongst my friends - they see me packing lunches and talking about eating high protein. But I order out all the time from home, and eat tons of trash.
The trick is to eat well most of the time, and create space in your life for the cheating/treating.
We all "cheat" - that's part of the point of tracking calories! To make sure we can without gaining the weight back!
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You can do it! This time go for slow and steady instead of a quick fix. A couple of pounds per month is plenty progress if it means you keep it off.
Don't design you diet for quick results. Design a diet you can live with. So if you like cheesecake, make sure you can have a piece ( a piece,.. not a whole pie, that's where I go wrong myself)0 -
Your goal should not be to diet... but to change your diet. Make it a lifestyle change. Once you see a measurable difference you will have that determination to never return to the old ways.
After carrying nearly 200lbs on my 5'3.5" frame for almost a decade I lost 90lbs. Such a change is drastic, but seriously I have never been happier. I suggest you pick one "bad" food item to remove or replace with an alternate item. I started with sugar (I was diagnosed a type 2 diabetic, so sugar reduction was a necessary first choice). After losing 25lbs I then remove fried foods from my choice of foods. I NEVER eat deep fried foods anymore and I substitute butter with PAM, and often use flavored teas to saute items on the stove. It started out as an internal challenge for me to explore taste sensations I never would consider. Now I am loving the taste of my food choices...
Some people say I deprive myself the "joy of food"... In reality, everything is a choice, for me I choose to live a "non-diabetic" (I reversed my diagnosis of type 2 diabetes with my weight loss) thin life full of energy. After two years of maintenance and size 0 jeans, I cannot fathom returning to a chubby life or the taste of french fries!
Best of luck to you, you can do this!0 -
stop dieting your *kitten* off and start focusing on developing healthful and sustainable habits for a lifetime. You don't need to crash your diet...you don't need to deprive yourself of things you enjoy...you do need to practice portion control (yes...this is a skill that requires PRACTICE for many)...
Realize that this is all a process...you aren't going to do a 180 overnight...understand that as cliche as it sounds, you have to make a LIFEstyle change...this means you need to start developing healthful and sustainable HABITS....again, baby steps; you don't need to do a 180*
Focus on the process...focus on good nutrition with the understanding the proper nutrition and a balanced diet consists of a lot more than celery sticks and salads (yeah...you can and should eat actual food)...focus on being a little better today than you were yesterday whether that means taking a few extra steps or getting in 6 servings of veg...whatever it is, just try to be a little better today than you were yesterday. Sleep well in the knowledge that you will be even more awesome tomorrow...and the next day and the next day and the next day. Realize that this isn't a quick fix...this is a life long process...you are never "done"...there is no finish line.
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I totally get EVERYTHING you are saying,but you know what? The fact that you have realized that you WANT to make a change is progress0
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I totally get where you're coming from. I know before races and even before a big TV appearance I had, it was like I was self-sabotaging myself and I was fully aware of it, yet I couldn't stop it. Good luck with your journey! I feel ya!0
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Dieting isn't necessarily deprivation.
I find that making foods at home makes them more enjoyable (spices/flavourings are tailored to me), and also lower calorie/fat/sodium, higher fiber/micronutrient. I enjoy and look forwards to my meals and snacks when I diet. Find the most flavourful and enjoyable foods you can that fit in your macro goals. Learn how to make your own version of chicken wings, or season/marinate chicken breast filets to taste the same and bake them. Eat with a nice salad. You don't have to give up cheese or steak, but you may want to limit your portions, and have something low calorie (veggie sticks/soup) to fill yourself up the rest of the way. Reducing added sugars for a while can help you appreciate the flavours of low-calorie foods more.
The best exercise routine is one that you can stick to. What do you enjoy doing? You and your husband can take dance lessons, or dance in the living room. Joining a club or class can add a social aspect to exercise, and accountability. If you don't want to leave the house, there are plenty of workouts on youtube and sites like fitnessblender, so you can workout from home for cheap. It doesn't have to be a big time commitment. There are some pretty intense workouts out there that are less than 30 minutes. Don't be frustrated if it's hard at first. You've just given yourself a baseline that you will be able to measure your progress from.
Make sure your weekly weight loss goals and deficit are reasonable. Be sure to get enough protein (.8g per kilo of bodyweight, or 1 g per lb of lean mass). Try to get your RDAs on micros. You don't want mineral deficiencies giving you weird cravings. Be aware of how your body cycles, so you don't get discouraged by hormonal hunger and water weight.
Keep your eyes on your goal. Whether it's better health, fitting into that little black dress, or gaining skills and building strength, think more about what you are gaining than what you are leaving behind.
The past is history. If you didn't meet your deficit goals yesterday, learn what you can from it (if anything) and go on wiser. You can do this. Stay strong 0
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