Fat?

thkdiff
thkdiff Posts: 8 Member
edited November 2024 in Motivation and Support
Ignore this post. error. Thanks.

Replies

  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
    I don't think you should be encouraging her to seek the validation of others.
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
    A heavy lifting program would help her immensely.
  • annette_15
    annette_15 Posts: 1,657 Member
    Shes certainly not fat
  • Pipsg1rl
    Pipsg1rl Posts: 1,414 Member
    It's not about how you feel about her, it's about how she feels about herself.
    You're her best friend and supposed to be kind.
  • MindySaysWhaaat
    MindySaysWhaaat Posts: 401 Member
    I hope you got her permission before posting her picture on a public forum. I certainly would be upset if my friend did this to me. Also, as someone who is large and has had to listen to my thinner friends complain about their weight, I had to take a step back and realize that everyone is entitled to their own opinion about themselves (even if it's negative). If she's really got some kind of body dysmorphic disorder type thing, this validation won't help. Also, if she's got an ED mindset, she'll take this as encouragement to keep trying to lose weight.
  • jkwolly
    jkwolly Posts: 3,049 Member
    memelendy wrote: »
    everyone is entitled to their own opinion about themselves (even if it's negative).
    This.

  • thkdiff
    thkdiff Posts: 8 Member
    memelendy wrote: »
    I hope you got her permission before posting her picture on a public forum. I certainly would be upset if my friend did this to me. Also, as someone who is large and has had to listen to my thinner friends complain about their weight, I had to take a step back and realize that everyone is entitled to their own opinion about themselves (even if it's negative). If she's really got some kind of body dysmorphic disorder type thing, this validation won't help. Also, if she's got an ED mindset, she'll take this as encouragement to keep trying to lose weight.

    Okay. Of course I have her approval to post her pic, I would never do that without anyone's permission, my whole point. You guys are taking this all wrong, not being unkind, or trying to see validation for her. Thought I was helping her perhaps, because she always puts herself down and I think she's beautiful inside/out. Sorry, ignore the post. I will tell her to add her own account and get feedback. LOl. thanks.
  • mumblemagic
    mumblemagic Posts: 1,090 Member
    edited January 2015
    The point is more that self esteem comes from the inside, so asking the opinions of others will not help whether it's her asking or you asking on her behalf. If she wants to be more happy with her body, she needs to find out what that would mean to her, why she is unhappy, and how she could counteract that. That may be losing weight, it may be doing some conditioning, or it may be that she feels that she has a psychological rather than physiological issue with her body and some therapy may help. These are not answers that strangers can give her, and although friends may be able to help her to the right decisions, ultimately she will not succeed in overcoming this unless the solution comes from her.

    Alternatively if she genuinely wants to know if she is medically overweight, she should pop her numbers into an online calculator to see.
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