Now I'm healthy, I don't pull D: LOL

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  • IzzyM210
    IzzyM210 Posts: 54 Member
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    You know, I was in that same place a year ago. I couldn't understand why I was getting less attention than before I lost weight. But I really think it's a confidence thing. I had some confidence as a heavier woman, until I realized that I wasn't happy with it, then lost my confidence. Eventually though, I became comfortable in my new skin and got my confidence back.

    Maybe you just haven't really embraced the new you yet. People are all the time saying that they still see themselves as fat even after they have lost. A lot of people need a little time to adjust mentally. Maybe you are just in that phase right now, and men are picking up on it.
    Yup! what she said!!
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    I say this from experience... it's very rare for a guy to buy me drinks or approach me unless I'm feeling very relaxed and uninhibited, cause normally I have a very low tolerance for stupidity and just don't appear approachable (so say most of the guy friends I have)

    Your looks, mostly defines which men will notice you... which is way more than you think. It's like nearly everyone.

    Your vibe and the venue, defines which (of the ones that notice) will approach. It's just a risk calculation, not "intimidation" or "leagues". Surrounded by 10 friends? Eject. *****face? Avoid, unless a hardened player looking for a challenge. Friendly and fun and alone? Approach.

    For the record, only very confident men will cold-approach strange women. You'll get a much higher *kitten* ratio than exists in reality if you depend on that, as opposed to social network.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    They're terrified of you! How intimidatingly cute you are!
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    A good pushup bra always increases the attention one receives. Just an observation.
  • babydiego87
    babydiego87 Posts: 905 Member
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    <---Forever alone.
    But I have a cat so it's okay. Get a cat OP.
    I have TWO cats!
  • thesupremeforce
    thesupremeforce Posts: 1,206 Member
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    Uh... Hi!
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
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    Where are you going that you are expecting this increase in attention?

    I'd wager that you've gotten looks by many men, but they most likely thought you didn't want to be bothered by them. It's a mine field for regular guys today...sure the d-bags don't care and do what they want, but most guys lack the confidence to approach someone if it is hard to tell if they would be "open" to it.

    I'd suggest you do the approaching.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    I agree with the others. You need a combination of confidence and being approachable. You need to go places where it is more likely to meet someone. Smile, flirt. Show interest in the men you are interested in. Move in an appealing way. Nothing forced. Just be aware of not being all slumpy or something. Wear clothes that look good and make you feel good. These are just some ideas.
  • djkronyx
    djkronyx Posts: 77 Member
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    Is it that you don't pull at ALL or just not pull the guys you WANT??? Big difference. . . Many women who say they can't find a man are turning down a lot while waiting for that perfect 10 to sweep them off their feet. Just saying :wink:
  • Bankman1989
    Bankman1989 Posts: 1,116 Member
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    I thought when I got a bit thinner/healthier/lost weight I would get attention off men. Haha I don't mean like pervy ogling just some extra attention. But nope. Piffle. Where am I going wrong?!

    I'm not trying to be vain or anything, I don't think I'm special...I just thought the odds would increase lmao

    Some men are intimidatied. I would flirt with a guy if you liked him to let him know it's ok. Some men ...ok all men hate getting shot down! Send the next guy a WINK AND a THUMBS UP..lol
  • iwillbetinytea
    iwillbetinytea Posts: 264 Member
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    Haha I'm not socially awkward, I do tend to go and talk to men - I'm not a raging v*gina either...or rude. Maybe I'm not giving off the 'get inside me' vibe lmao....

    I HAVE A CAT!
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
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    I thought when I got a bit thinner/healthier/lost weight I would get attention off men. Haha I don't mean like pervy ogling just some extra attention. But nope. Piffle. Where am I going wrong?!

    I'm not trying to be vain or anything, I don't think I'm special...I just thought the odds would increase lmao

    Two words:

    Tighter clothes.
  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
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    I think you eyes are fricking amazing. You are a hottie. The guys will come. :glasses:
  • micheleld73
    micheleld73 Posts: 914 Member
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    So guys won't take it as being too aggressive or too forward if the girl approaches?
  • mmm_drop
    mmm_drop Posts: 1,126 Member
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    I'm guessing that men notice you and might even ogle you, but you don't see it. As for being approached, it is all about the vibe you are giving off. I find that when I am most comfortable and being silly I get approached by guys, especially if I am in a smaller group of friends.
  • TravisBikes
    TravisBikes Posts: 674 Member
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    pass.

    Wait. Wrong topic.
  • djkronyx
    djkronyx Posts: 77 Member
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    So guys won't take it as being too aggressive or too forward if the girl approaches?

    Not at all. You don't have to throw yourself at a guy, but just initiating the conversation will usually give him the hint and he'll take it from there. Most guys LOVE being approached first.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    So guys won't take it as being too aggressive or too forward if the girl approaches?
    Not at all. You don't have to throw yourself at a guy, but just initiating the conversation will usually give him the hint and he'll take it from there. Most guys LOVE being approached first.
    note to self: do not throw myself at guys

    post note to self: throw myself at girls
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Haha I'm not socially awkward, I do tend to go and talk to men - I'm not a raging v*gina either...or rude. Maybe I'm not giving off the 'get inside me' vibe lmao....

    I HAVE A CAT!

    No, that's not the vibe you want to be giving off, if you are actually looking to meet someone that you want a relationship with. I'm married and do not give off that vibe at all. I'm friendly and nice, but I'm also shy and certainly have good boundaries. I'm not looking to meet men, but I get approached a lot (from nice guys).

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