I screwed up and now I'm starting over again...

lisaab27

Hi I'm Lisa. I am here because I screwed up. I have type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure and I damaged my heart from my crummy diet. I even had to start taking insulin a few years ago even though I am a type 2diabetic which usually doesn't have to take insulin. Back then I was taking 2 blood pressure pills a day and heart medicine for irregular heart beat caused by the damage my heart suffered. God was tapping on my shoulder to make a change, but I was ignoring Him. You can only ignore God so long before He gives you a kick in the backside. Back then I weighed 327 lbs. and I got that kick. After being rushed to the ER, I vowed to eat healthy and I lost 130 lbs. I started swimming laps at my local outdoor pool (I am a crummy swimmer but I found that I enjoyed it and it didn't matter how slow I go, I didn't care), and I got off insulin. In the winter I was walking, only a mile a day, but it's hilly around my house and my blood pressure was great and the doctor cut my medicine down to only 1/2 pill a day. I broke the 200 lb. mark and I felt good. Then I hurt my knee again and went to PT. (Walking is still more difficult.) I still watched my diet but I decided not to continue to be as strict, I was going to "maintain" for awhile. I still had weight to lose but I wanted a little break from the discipline. Then I started getting sick, my BP was climbing so I cut back on salt really strong and it came back down. In the summer I started swimming again and then I could eat more carbs and burn them off,still eating smaller portions, lower salt, lower carb. I just indulged myself on weekends but compared to how I used to eat, I thought I was doing great and I was still swimming. I started slipping gradually over these 18 months. Constant knee problems made it hard to walk and though I still watch my salt I did allow more carbs into my diet. Right now, I haven't swam since the summer. Anyway, I had vowed I was not going to allow myself to regain all my weight back so here I am. I feel the Lord, tapping on my shoulder again and I'm not ignoring Him this time! So I weighed myself yesterday and I have gained back almost 50 lbs over the last 2 years! I thought I gained back about 25! How we live in denial! I almost hit the floor. So here I am back in the saddle. The diet I followed last time was a medical diet, it is a diabetic diet to help control my sugars. So I count carbs, not calories. Most diabetics can have a bit more protein then I can on this diet, because it is also to lose weight. I must eat 5 meals a day: breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. The meals are only 45 carbs at breakfast, lunch and dinner, plus 2 ounces protein at lunch, 3 ounces protein at dinner. Snacks are only 15 carbs allowed. I have to measure everything. I have a little scale and I have some measuring cups that I use. If you eyeball it, you will give yourself more. It is a 1800 calorie diet, if you count calories. One of the ways I messed up is that I started allowing myself to go out to eat on the weekends. Good on diet all week, go out to eat on Sunday after church. Then it was Saturday AND Sunday. When I was losing weight the first time I didn't go out to eat very often. And when I did, I cut my portions in half before I took my first bite. I had stopped doing that also. Anyway, to help me kick off my diet again, I told my husband no going out to eat for at least 3 months (New Year's resolution). It's been a bit hard these first few weekends. I've been planning special meals for the weekend, so my husband and daughter don't feel cheated. At least I hope they don't. It's hard for them also. So right now I'm trying to figure out how to work the myfitnessplan stuff. I can only have 3 ounces of protein at dinner, but the diary has lowest amount as 4 ounces. Is there a way of changing that? I kept a food diary in a notebook when I lost weight last time, but my husband bought me a Fitbit and it links to myfitnesspal and he thinks this will be better so I'm going to give it a go. (Fitbit won't let you count carbs while myfitnesspal will.) I'm hoping that having friends who understand what I'm trying to do, will help. I know the only reason I lost weight before is because of God because my self-control is pretty bad and I am weak. I've found if I stop and pray, God will help me not to cheat. It's still hard, but He helps me through. I also know that I have to pray each and every time I'm tempted. If you add me as a friend I hope we can help each other and pray for each other.