Getting fat, already depressed, thinking about giving up and havent even started.

dustyyellowstar

Last year I was 150lbs, this year I've tanked at 181lbs. I weigh more than my husband, and people wont tell me that I'm fat. I've looked at pictures that someone else took of me, not my own selfies, and saw the truth. I'm bigger than all the other girls, and even some of the men. I'm, dare I say it, disgusted with myself.

I've started walking on an incline on the tredmill, entering in my weight, and Im burning about 400 calories in an hour. But Is it enough, you know?

I hear stories of ladies who have dropped 50+ pounds in only a few monthsby running on the tredmill for an hour and eating around 600 calories a day, and I feel like a failure because I dont have the willpower to do this. I ask myself are they natural athletes? Because I cant just jump on a tredmill and run, I've tried but I fail. I've cut down my calorie intake too, but apparantly not enough, as when I signed up here today and logged my stuff it seems like I've eaten a whole horse.

I know this is introduction, and this sounds like I'm complaining about lack of motivation, but this is my first post here. So hello everyone, I'm the sad fat person in the corner just saying hello.

jad2678

Hello there, I too have had many times that I have felt just like you do and its the worst. But I have figured out the biggest part of this process is to set up reasonable and attainable goals. Eating 600 calories a day is ridic and I would go insane and fail every single day with that. I have tried for years to lose weight and I will admit I hear running works wonders for people but i HATE it, so so much. Sometimes we just gotta step back and see what our areas are where we need to focus (for me I eat when I am stressed/tired/bored) and I dont exercise like I should. So I have decided to find exercises I actually like or enjoy doing that dont take up too much time and meal planning a few days ahead of time so I have less of a chance of failing. Everything always sounds so much easier said then done so dont be do hard on yourself, there is a lot of people struggling out there. If you would want to add me feel free, I am always up for some conversing and motivation cause some days just suck and I wish I could fall in a black hole but we gotta keep pushing on!

frazz007

Welcome to your new life. I would suggest logging what you eat for a few days.
While you are logging food, read all the pinned posts at the top of the page. There is a lot of helpful information there.

You will find this is not a food prison with punitive exercise thrown in for evil kicks.
Set reasonable calorie goals and reasonable exercise goals. Find exercise you like and look forward too. Some days will be easy and some will be tougher. Just log it and move on.

snowflake954

MFP is about logging, weighing and therefore controling what you eat. This takes a little trial and error. All you have to do is start and eat the calories MFP gives you--no more. If you excersise, log it in, and MFP will give you more calories to eat that day. As you go along it gets easier, and remember, it takes time to make a difference. It's important to be as accurate as possible. In a week or two you should see some progress and feel better. If not, ask for help. Wishing you good luck.

vdansch

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dustyyellowstar wrote: »

Last year I was 150lbs, this year I've tanked at 181lbs. I weigh more than my husband, and people wont tell me that I'm fat. I've looked at pictures that someone else took of me, not my own selfies, and saw the truth. I'm bigger than all the other girls, and even some of the men. I'm, dare I say it, disgusted with myself.

I've started walking on an incline on the tredmill, entering in my weight, and Im burning about 400 calories in an hour. But Is it enough, you know?

I hear stories of ladies who have dropped 50+ pounds in only a few monthsby running on the tredmill for an hour and eating around 600 calories a day, and I feel like a failure because I dont have the willpower to do this. I ask myself are they natural athletes? Because I cant just jump on a tredmill and run, I've tried but I fail. I've cut down my calorie intake too, but apparantly not enough, as when I signed up here today and logged my stuff it seems like I've eaten a whole horse.

I know this is introduction, and this sounds like I'm complaining about lack of motivation, but this is my first post here. So hello everyone, I'm the sad fat person in the corner just saying hello.

Hi! Are you retaining water? Try cutting back dramatically on the salt, and do 1200 cal a day, not 800! Work into the treadmill slowly, just do 30 sec the first day and increase by 30 sec on subsequent days. You can do it!

Gingerspice45

you can change your life if you believe it can happen. I'm in the process of doing this right now too. making little changes over time adds up.

NerdieMcChub

Well, I'm over 200 lbs and 5'2 and people still don't tell me I'm fat. But you know what? I am. I know I am. They know I am. But I don't give a bleep what people think. I care what I think and how I feel. Only you can commit to the change you need to make. No one else can do that for you. No one else should be your reason either.

emdeesea

Weight loss is mostly diet. Trust me when I say I know how you feel because I started out at about 195 pounds.

It's really a day by day thing. Just meet your calories for today. Then do it again tomorrow. Then the next day. And eventually all those days add up.

I will admit it's a slow, sometimes arduous process. I'm finally down to 150, but it's taken over 3 years. Last year it took a full 12 months to lose 20 pounds. This year I hope to take off the last 20 and be done. So just realize it's for the long haul.

And you don't have to go hungry either. Depending on your height, you can adjust your calories to about a 20% decrease. It takes some getting used to, but you can do it.

The exercise, well, it can come along with time. I started out on the dreadmill, probably like everyone. Now I'm up to mostly weight training and I ran a 5K last year. I've already signed up for more this year.

Don't worry. You CAN do this. It just takes time.

millionairesstv

Hi take it one day at a time I was around the 150 lbs mark too, but let go ,lost my balance and ended up 182lbs . I am now refocusing using a combo of food and exercise.
I would be happy to share my journey with you

imju5tme

This may seem like a long read, but... it's SOOOO worth it.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

It's doable, it's worth it, and so are you.

emdeesea

Here you go if you want it. I have been using this free calculator to adjust my calories. You just plug in your stats and your activity level and you'll get back how many calories to eat for the day.

The loss is slower because the idea is to maintain your existing muscle mass. And you have to readjust your stats with every 5 pounds you lose. But it's worked like a charm for me.

http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

zoeysasha37

Hi! Dont give up before you give it a try! First of all, you'll need a food scale for this to work. Walmart sells them for about ten bucks. Anyway, I once felt exactly the same way . I was @212( my doctor office scale said 212 , but my home scale was 202 ) anyway, I felt so depressed and tried so many Times.nothing worked until I learned the tools necessary for success. Mfp taught me all about portions and moderation . I'm now 135 lbs.
You can do this too! All you need to get started is a food scale :-)

Inshape13

I hear stories of ladies who have dropped 50+ pounds in only a few monthsby running on the tredmill for an hour and eating around 600 calories a day, and I feel like a failure because I dont have the willpower to do this. I ask myself are they natural athletes? Because I cant just jump on a tredmill and run, I've tried but I fail. I've cut down my calorie intake too, but apparantly not enough, as when I signed up here today and logged my stuff it seems like I've eaten a whole horse.

You need to give yourself credit for seeing that there is something that you can change and that you took the first step to become healthier. I quoted the above part of your statement because that is not healthy and it really will not be something that will last long term. When I started this close to 3 years ago, I went with 1,200 a day and walked from 4-6 miles a day along with other cardio and dropped from 234 to 174 in about 4.5 months....with that being said, that was the worst thing I could have done in regards to losing weight in a healthy manner. I lost 92lbs that year and maintained for the next two.
Looking back on it now, I had a ton of loose skin that took quite a while to "fix" and my strength was lacking. After I lost the 60lbs, I began with a personal trainer and found I was doing a lot of things incorrectly and really learned how to care for my body and workout/eat in a way that was healthy and that I would be able to live with in the long term.
You are already on your way just by taking this first step. Running is difficult if you are not used to it and C25K is a great program to get you going with that. One other suggestion that I learned from others who had lost weight before and helped me along the way was to log for several days and then see what you can cut back on/replace week by week and not to take it on all at once. Ex. lower sodas one week, then substitute healthier foods in place of fried foods, etc.
You will get there and you can definitely do this! Wishing you the best!!!

thelizzie4

I feel like we are in the same boat! Or at least I have been where you have been and I am still struggling! I was 145 in early high school..By my junior year I had gone up to 165. It wasn't until my freshman year in college that I had realized i was 187. No one told me and I swear I did not see a difference in myself! Which is crazy! I then went on this crazy, expensive, and doctor supervised diet that helped me lose 25-30 pounds by the first half of my sophomore year. But since I stopped that crazy diet before I was to my perfect goal weight, I still feel disgusting. I gained 5 pounds over the holidays and am now 165.. I know how to diet and am good at it but I really need to work on my self control. I too am bigger than my significant other and it sucks. He is also shorter than me so I have to be extra skinnier than him to look normal I feel. I am writing this long message to say that I just need some encouragement and it would be nice to have a friend in the same position! I have yet to find someone with such a similar story than mine. And I feel I could give some good pointers too!

SapiensPisces

dustyyellowstar wrote: »

Last year I was 150lbs, this year I've tanked at 181lbs. I weigh more than my husband, and people wont tell me that I'm fat. I've looked at pictures that someone else took of me, not my own selfies, and saw the truth. I'm bigger than all the other girls, and even some of the men. I'm, dare I say it, disgusted with myself.

I think all of us have felt this way starting out. The best thing you can do is just move forward and try not to beat yourself up too much.

I've started walking on an incline on the tredmill, entering in my weight, and Im burning about 400 calories in an hour. But Is it enough, you know?

I hear stories of ladies who have dropped 50+ pounds in only a few monthsby running on the tredmill for an hour and eating around 600 calories a day, and I feel like a failure because I dont have the willpower to do this. I ask myself are they natural athletes? Because I cant just jump on a tredmill and run, I've tried but I fail. I've cut down my calorie intake too, but apparantly not enough, as when I signed up here today and logged my stuff it seems like I've eaten a whole horse.

There's not really such a thing as a "natural" athlete. Athletes work their butts off to be athletes for many many years, and it's not just a gift. Secondly, 600 calories per day is way way too little for anyone, unless you're a chihuahua.

I think the problem here stems from your unrealistic expectations. For most of us here, we lose between 0.5-2 lbs per week, with larger folks losing a bit more, and smaller folks losing less, and most of us, along the way, have gained a bit and gotten back on track afterwards. Weight loss is not a straight line to your goal weight. It takes a lot of turns, and that's perfectly fine.

Enter your information into MFP goal settings, and just be diligent about accurate logging and getting in as much physical activity as you can. This may mean that you'll be counting out chips for a serving or needing to invest in a food scale so you know how much you're really eating. Give it a month, and see how you're progressing. Losing quickly and gaining it all back is not what you want. You need to worry about fundamentally changing the way you live to keep the weight off, and that will likely mean a slower rate of losing and a lot more work on your part than just restricting what you eat and burning a bazillion calories per day.

The two things you really need are patience and consistency. If you can stay consistent with a reasonable calorie intake that is a little less than what your body needs, you will lose weight.

vixtris

You must have patients. Just try the site for the first week or 2, don't even add exercise if you aren't ready yet. Try eating the minimal, 1,200 calories, if you like. Your stomach (your actual stomach, not your belly) will need time to get smaller and used to eating less food, and during that time it really sucks, so adding exercise to it will just make it even more unbearable (most people feel more hungry when they exercise). Once you have gotten used to small portions, add exercise. Don't go full throttle on the exercise right away, either, just do it for however long you can stand, and push yourself a little longer each day. My personal doctor recommended at least 120 minutes of workout per week (I am about your weight), so working up to that amount eventually would be a good first goal to set. Try thinking about getting yourself in shape enough to endure the exercising, THEN you can set goals for weight loss. If you think ahead too far, you will set yourself up for failure.

lcphipps

my husband passed away last year and I was left dealing with depression and anxiety. My weight spiked at 220! A friend recommended we join a gym....Yea....That was the last thing I wanted to do. I was fat, grieving and depressed!!!! But she dragged my butt to the gym every day. started on the treadmill slowly for only 8 minutes to start. after awhile I was able to increase my time / distance/ and incline. MUCH to my surprise I started to enjoy it. My treadmill time is my time to talk to God, my husband and to solve all of the worlds problems (which they never really asked me to do :-) ) I found the depression and anxiety was finally under control. I felt stronger and more self confident....ready to take on the world!! the greatest side effect....I lost almost 100 pounds and feel great!!! You CAN do this. You just have to start slow...it will come. Now I walk one hour EVERY day on the treadmill. I enjoy it and look forward to my 'Me' time

jgnatca

I was much heavier than you when I decided to lose my weight permanently. That was eighteen months ago and I was chock full of every emotion you can name, but mostly anger. Being heavy is taken as a weakness in our society. I knew I wasn't weak and it felt so very unfair. I did not start to feel better until I got my first solid evidence that the weight loss was making a difference, and that was a good five months after I started.

The MFP plan is to get used to tracking everything you eat. The goal setting tool will ask for a target for your weight loss and I suggest no more than 0.5 lbs per week. There is no magic pill, no super-low calorie target that will whip you in to shape. I don't think you are lacking in willpower; I think you need a dose of realism. And that will take time and experience.

Allterrain_Lady

dustyyellowstar wrote: »

I hear stories of ladies who have dropped 50+ pounds in only a few monthsby running on the tredmill for an hour and eating around 600 calories a day.

Three possible outcomes here.
One, they come back crawling a few months/weeks later saying that they've gained all the weight back and then some and can't eat anything without gaining anymore and telling everyone they're back at it because they "can do this, it worked once".
Two, they come back and ask advice about a sustainable long term weight loss plan, follow sound advices and get rid of it for good.

600 calories a day isn't enough. Even if you don't work out at all. It has nothing to do with will power.

Figure out the amount of calories you need on a daily basis (the scooby calculator is good for that, google it) and create a deficit between 200 and 500 calories a day. It will seem a lot of calories at first because we have no idea how much we eat before starting counting it.

THAT IS WHAT WORKS LONG TERM.

You have to feed your body. You wouldn't expect your phone to work indefinitely without recharging the battery. Same here.

lisaab27

I'm Lisa. This is my story. I have type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure and I damaged my heart from my crummy diet. God was tapping on my shoulder to make a change, but I was ignoring Him. You can only ignore God so long before He gives you a kick in the backside. I weighed 327 lbs. and I got that kick. After being rushed to the ER, I vowed to eat healthy and I lost 130 lbs. I started swimming laps even though I am a crummy swimmer, and in the winter I was walking, only a mile a couple times a week due to knee problems but it helped. Then I was going to "maintain" for awhile and give myself a break despite knowing I still had weight to lose. For awhile I was doing great but I started slipping gradually. Constant knee problems made it hard to walk and though I watch my salt I did allow more carbs into my diet. Right now, I haven't swam since the summer and can only walk about 1/2 mile on a good day. Anyway, I vowed I was not going to allow myself to regain all my weight back so here I am. I feel the Lord, tapping on my shoulder again and I'm not ignoring Him this time! So I weighed myself yesterday and I have gained back almost 50 lbs over the last 2 years! I thought I only gained back about 25! How we live in denial. I almost hit the floor. The diet I followed last time was a medical diet given me, it is a diabetic diet to help control my sugars and also to lose weight. So I count carbs, not calories. I must eat 5 meals a day: breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. The 3 meals are only 45 carbs at breakfast, lunch and dinner, plus 2 ounces protein at lunch, 3 ounces protein at dinner. Snacks are only 15 carbs allowed. I have to measure everything. I have a little scale and I have some measuring cups that I use. It is a 1800 calorie diet, if you count calories. One of the ways I messed up is that I started allowing myself to go out to eat on the weekends. Good on watching my food all week, go out to eat on Sunday after church. Then it was Saturday AND Sunday! The first time, I didn't go out to eat very often. And when I did, I cut my portions in half before I took my first bite. I had stopped doing that also. Anyway, to help me kick off my diet again, I told my husband no going out to eat for at least 3 months, and not on regular basis after that. (New Year's resolution). Right now I'm trying to figure out how to work the myfitnessplan stuff. I used to keep a food diary in a notebook when I lost weight last time, but my husband bought me a Fitbit and it links to myfitnesspal and he thinks this will be better so I'm going to give it a go. (Fitbit won't let you count carbs while myfitnesspal will.) I'm hoping that having friends who understand what I'm trying to do, will help. My self-control is bad and I am weak. I've found if I stop and pray, God will help me not to cheat. It's still hard, but He helps me through. It's hard to remember to do that sometimes! I know that I have to pray each and every time I'm tempted. And I'm tempted a lot! If you add me as a friend I hope we can help each other and pray for each other.

VeryKatie

That's because hours and hours of exercise and no food feels awful. Those women you're talking about are not taking care of themselves! It's not a race! You don't have to do that! And THEY shouldn't do that.

Why not eat 1500-1600 calories a day, which is still a very nice deficit and just continue walking? See how it goes from there. Start small, add stuff in as you feel able. Who cares if that's not until after a bunch of months? When I started, all I did was count food calories (which mostly entailed learning to cook healthy meals for myself). I did that for 4 months, and then started really trying to educate myself on the subject. I didn't add in exercise until month 8! I don't regret it. It's been manageable and livable.

Note: 1500 is a ballpark I just threw out there. I'm assuming you're average height, maybe around 5'5" and that you will continue to walk (even just 20 or 30 minutes, 3 or 4 times a week). You can definitely slowly change how much you eat and how much you walk. There's never any reason to go below 1200- 1300 calories eaten in a day.

kellycasey5

The exercise you are doing is great! Keep it up! There is no need to run if you don't want to. Choose an activity that you like, after all this is YOUR life and YOUR health. Use the calorie goals set here, log your meals, and strive for healthy food choices. Weight loss and weight gain is more often than not related to diet. You could lose the weight gain (30 pounds) in a little over 7 months if you aim for losing 1 pound a week. 1 pound a week gives you some room for error and more daily calories. If you are very motivated, aim for 2 pounds a week. This will give you less daily calories and more consistent exercise, but the weight would be off in 4 months. I would advise playing with the mfp calculators and goals to see how they differ and pick something that you feel comfortable with.

Don't let your weight define you. So you gained weight. Congratulations, you are the average american this year Now, you have decided that you are not comfortable with this weight and are looking to make changes! That is fantastic! The people that love you love you. Why would they call you fat? You may have an excess body fat ratio right now, but that does not mean it is permanent! It is also not who you are. It is merely a fact, like saying you have brown hair or white teeth. Don't let the judgement get to you. Use it for motivation. Self honesty is important, but there is no need to beat yourself up! Healthy eating and exercising is hard enough. Be kind to yourself! You were disgusted with yourself, and that may be the kick in the pants you needed. Now lose the disgust! You can do this! It may not be overnight, it may not be in 2 months, but it can happen quickly if that is what you are motivated to do. It can also happen slowly, and that is fine also!

I am not sure if you need motivation, but I am at 178 pounds (183 a week and a half ago) and have a decent amount of weight to lose. I would be happy to add you as a friend if you are looking for support. Welcome and good luck!

debraguevara

First things first. You succeed by doing one thing at a time and staying in the present. Treat each meal as a separate entity, don't dwell on the whole day, month or year. Focus on what you have to do now and then do that one thing now. You will start to feel better about yourself as you accomplish each little task and the overall task won't be so daunting. You must eat at least 1000 calories a day to support your organs. Set your goal for each day and then allow your self to eat an extra 200 to 300 calories about every five or six days so that you won't feel deprived. You can eat anything you like as long as you don't exceed your calorie limit. I find it hard to meet my daily calorie goal but I make myself eat all the calories. As you go you will find that you will start substituting better foods for the calorie grabbers and it will get easier.

Hang in there.

brminor

I understand your journey, from college to now (10 years total) I have gained over 40 lbs...some might think 40lbs over 10 years isn't bad, but I am only 5'4 and I weigh 178 pounds. Yes, I had a baby, but he is 18 months old now..and quite frankly I was overweight before I had him. My husband is only 20 pounds heavier than me, but he is 5'9 and has a muscular build....I have been trying for the past 5 years to lose weight off and on, but every time I lose, I get comfortable and gain some back. After having my son, I dropped 20 pounds and got down to 170...how I am back at 178 is from poor eating and lack of exercise. Don't beat yourself up! Today is a new day and you just have to take it one day at a time. If you try to eat healthier and incorporate some physical activity into your life, the weight will come off. These quick fixes you hear about are usually temporary and those people typically end up gaining the weight back plus some. I have found that through proper diet and exercise, you will see results. Aim to lose one pound a week and over time, it will add up. Good luck with your journey! Feel free to add me as a friend.