Frustrated and want to cry

I started a very strict diet on 10/17/14 and I DO NOT cheat and my calories never go over 1000 a day. Yes I know it is low but it works for me. I do not log everyday and my profile is private. I eliminated all soda, fried foods, and junk food. I only eat baked meats and fresh veggies and I drink 80 oz of water a day. I go to the gym 5+ days a week, 2 days Zumba and do incline treadmill and weights. I have dropped 5 inches off my waist and I am down 23 pounds. I am very happy about that but what is sooo frustrating is I am busting my butt and the other two people are not putting in any effort at all and have dropped 40 for one and 34 for the other. I just needed to vent because I feel like crying. I know I should not compare myself to other people but I have just really felt really down and is all this effort doing any good. Should I not exercise? Since beginning a fitness routine my weight loss has significantly slowed. What am I doing wrong?
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Replies

  • 52cardpickup
    52cardpickup Posts: 379 Member
    1) Comparing yourself to others.
    2) Not eating enough.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 46,682 Member
    Undereating significantly slows your metabolic rate. The body will compensate by reducing how much your burn. You burn most of your body fat at rest and NOT when you're exercising.
    And I agree with above poster.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    I'd want to cry, too, if I was only eating only 1000 calories a day.

    I'd want to cry, too, if I was comparing myself to other people.

    Read this: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants#latest
  • Lifetimestruggle
    Lifetimestruggle Posts: 9 Member
    I know I should not compare and I try not to, but for some reason today it really got to me. I tried upping my calories and I gained weight. I have been at the same weight now for a month.
  • Anaryne26
    Anaryne26 Posts: 23 Member
    edited January 2015
    First, congratulations of what you've lost so far! That's quite an accomplishment. 23 pounds in 3 months is a nice rate of weight loss.

    To address your concerns, 1000 calories a day is too low, to begin with. When you don't eat enough calories, your BMR will slow down.....which, in turn, will slow your weight loss down. At such low calorie intake, your body thinks it's starving, and will do all it can to conserve fuel for survival.

    Are you factoring in the calories you burn at the gym into your total calorie limit? Whatever you set your calorie/day limit at, if you're burning calories at the gym, you need to eat them back. At such a low limit already, if you're not eating back whatever you burn at the gym, you are really not eating enough calories, and once again, slowing your BMR down.

    People also lose weight differently, depending on their starting weight, BMR and other factors. So please don't take it personally if someone loses weight differently than you do....everyone does. :)

    Some suggestions for you: I'm not sure if you're male or female, or what your weight loss goals are, but I'd really look at putting your calorie/day goal at at least 1200 calories/day. I honestly think this plays a big role in what you're experiencing with your weight loss right now. Make sure to eat back those calories you burn at the gym....your body will thank you! If your body doesn't feel like it's starving, your BMR will stay higher, and you'll burn more calories, even when just sitting. Also, if you're doing the same workout everyday, your body can get used to it, and you'll burn less calories. Try switching up your workout routine to keep things fresh.

    I'm sure others will chime in with more suggestions for you. Don't get discouraged though; you're doing great!
  • LeanButNotMean44
    LeanButNotMean44 Posts: 852 Member
    I started a very strict diet on 10/17/14 and I DO NOT cheat and my calories never go over 1000 a day. Yes I know it is low but it works for me. I do not log everyday and my profile is private. I eliminated all soda, fried foods, and junk food. I only eat baked meats and fresh veggies and I drink 80 oz of water a day. I go to the gym 5+ days a week, 2 days Zumba and do incline treadmill and weights. I have dropped 5 inches off my waist and I am down 23 pounds. I am very happy about that but what is sooo frustrating is I am busting my butt and the other two people are not putting in any effort at all and have dropped 40 for one and 34 for the other. I just needed to vent because I feel like crying. I know I should not compare myself to other people but I have just really felt really down and is all this effort doing any good. Should I not exercise? Since beginning a fitness routine my weight loss has significantly slowed. What am I doing wrong?

    If what you are doing was working for you, I don't think you'd have posted this. :|

    Looking at your diary, I see a majority of unlogged days, days of WAY less than 1000 cals, and a few "Quick Add" calories.

    You have to be willing to put in the work to see results. This is not something one can half-*kitten* and still see success. Weigh and log EVERY morsel of food and make sure you are getting at least 1200 cals per day (might need more, but don't know your stats), keep up the exercise, and I promise you will see results.


  • daisyls85
    daisyls85 Posts: 63 Member
    I agree you should be eating at least 1200. As far as your friends loss, what were their starting stats? People who have more to lose will lose quicker at first.
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    I don't know who the other two people are, but the more you have to lose, the easier it is to lose. You should be looking at percentage of excess pounds lost. If you have 50 to lose and someone else has 100, your five pound loss is better than their 9 pound loss.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,585 Member
    daisyls85 wrote: »
    I agree you should be eating at least 1200. As far as your friends loss, what were their starting stats? People who have more to lose will lose quicker at first.
    This. If you're going to go about comparing yourself to others (not a good idea but hard to stop doing, I know) you need to look at the percentage of original body weight lost, not simply pounds. Also if the people you're comparing yourself to are men, then you're only setting yourself up for disappointment anyway. Men usually outmass us and their bodies are just different. They always seem to be able to lose weight more easily.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Just back in to say, in addition to what everyone else is saying, the problem with comparing yourself to others is that you just don't have the same body shape, bone structure, etc.

    There are girls on here who are 5'4 and weigh 115. And they look great! But, they have a different structure.

    If I tried to do that, I'd 1) be miserable because I'd be starving myself and 2) look sick.

    So I shoot to maintain at 135.

    Set your own goals for you and you alone. Tune out the rest.
  • Lifetimestruggle
    Lifetimestruggle Posts: 9 Member
    One is smaller than and the other is larger than me. I really do try and not compare but it is so hard! Especially when they come into to my office bragging! :( I still have 60 pounds to lose so I have a lot to go. I think I am just having my own pity party today! LOL... First time that I have really been down in the past few months. I have grown to love the gym and love that my body looks better (toned). Thanks for the advice everyone I really appreciate it.
  • bowlerae
    bowlerae Posts: 555 Member
    Anaryne26 wrote: »
    First, congratulations of what you've lost so far! That's quite an accomplishment. 23 pounds in 3 months is a nice rate of weight loss.

    To address your concerns, 1000 calories a day is too low, to begin with. When you don't eat enough calories, your BMR will slow down.....which, in turn, will slow your weight loss down. At such low calorie intake, your body thinks it's starving, and will do all it can to conserve fuel for survival.

    Are you factoring in the calories you burn at the gym into your total calorie limit? Whatever you set your calorie/day limit at, if you're burning calories at the gym, you need to eat them back. At such a low limit already, if you're not eating back whatever you burn at the gym, you are really not eating enough calories, and once again, slowing your BMR down.

    People also lose weight differently, depending on their starting weight, BMR and other factors. So please don't take it personally if someone loses weight differently than you do....everyone does. :)

    Some suggestions for you: I'm not sure if you're male or female, or what your weight loss goals are, but I'd really look at putting your calorie/day goal at at least 1200 calories/day. I honestly think this plays a big role in what you're experiencing with your weight loss right now. Make sure to eat back those calories you burn at the gym....your body will thank you! If your body doesn't feel like it's starving, your BMR will stay higher, and you'll burn more calories, even when just sitting. Also, if you're doing the same workout everyday, your body can get used to it, and you'll burn less calories. Try switching up your workout routine to keep things fresh.

    I'm sure others will chime in with more suggestions for you. Don't get discouraged though; you're doing great!

    ALL of this...I was in the same boat several months ago. I started a strict diet eating about 1,000 calories and working out though I tried to eat those exercise calories back. I was losing but it was torture. I bumped it up to 1,200 and then 1,500 and started gaining weight. There is no way I should gain at eating 1,500 calories when I logged/weighed everything I ate spot on. I think my body got used to eating such low calories that my BMR adjusted so by the time I increased my intake my body had already gotten used to "preserving" fuel aka not burning calories as fast.

    1.) You definitely need to eat more, I'd recommend 1,200-1,600 but you really need to use a TDEE/BMR/IIFYM calculator to determine what number is best for you and your goals. Even using the MFP calculator is fine.

    2.) Increasing your calorie intake may show an increase in scale weight at first but it is likely water retention from eating more carbs/sodium than you are used to. Plus if your BMR has dropped from eating such few calories then your weight could increase temporarily (but not drastically) because of that as well. Give yourself a few weeks for yourself to adjust.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,878 Member
    Hmmm I'm not going to comment on the rest, but you can't compare your pound to their pound. I'm sure you are all different heights and starting weights. Find out what their starting weight was, take pounds lost and divide by starting weight. Compare the percentages and see how that goes. And then stop comparing because it doesn't matter.
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,256 Member
    There is some good, healthy advice here. Try not to think of this as a "lifetimestruggle," but rather a lifetime of good health. Who knows where your friends will be in 6 months or a year. It doesn't matter. Maybe they're not taking the weight off in a healthy, sustainable way. Focus on you. You can decide where you want to be in the next 3, 6 and 12 months. The sooner you train yourself to just worry about you, the better. Your moniker implies that you are going to be "struggling" with this forever. That doesn't sound like a fun way to spend the rest of your life. Find new habits. Find fun things to do. Find new friends if you need to...
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,465 Member
    My weight loss slowed when I added exercise so I sat down to have a good think about it. I started on this plan to lose weight because I wanted my energy, my mobility back. I get these benefits from exercise! So I decided even if it takes me longer, I was not willing to give up the benefits from exercise now.

    For some reason recently my weight loss sped up again. And I have more energy and mobility to enjoy my lighter self.

    I'd hate for you to make rash choices (drop exercise, super-reduce food intake) from a single blip on the scale.
  • Lezavargas
    Lezavargas Posts: 223 Member
    Interesting video you might enjoy. If your not into the sciency stuff just watch the last 30. Talks about why we cant lose weight and that exercise isnt the answer to weight loss.

  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member

    First things first:
    • If you're not logging every day, that's a problem. How do you know if you're not going over 1000 calories if you don't log your food?
    • If you're comparing yourself to others progress, it's a problem. You aren't them, and they aren't you. It is a certainty that there are struggles in their life, just as you have struggles in yours....you just don't know what their struggles are.
    • It is certain that if you're not logging your food, you don't know how much you're really eating, and if you're really doing all that exercise, you probably need to be eating more than 1000 calories.
    • If what you're doing is making you want to cry, you need to make some changes. Whatever you're doing has to be livable for you, and if you're crying and frustrated by other's progress, it's not working for you.

    My apologies if I'm being overly direct. It really is out of concern. If I was crying and upset, the last thing I'd want to do was watch what I ate, log it all, and go work out. (Obviously since I'm obese...) But I didn't lose 77 pounds by doing things that made me want to cry out of frustration.

    Talk to them and find out things they're doing that are helpful to them. There may be something that you can adapt to use to help make your journey less stressful. There are things that they're doing you will like, and things you won't. Use those things that you can to help you on your path.

    My suggestions:
    • log everything from food to activity
    • Keep up with the high quality foods, and make sure you're getting enough protein and fiber
    • keep drinking the water
    • keep working out
    • Look for opportunities to change up your routine in ways that are helpful. Anything that's not helping can go to the curb (at least for now).
    • Find ways to be able to de-stress.



  • NikiChicken
    NikiChicken Posts: 576 Member
    1) Comparing yourself to others.
    2) Not eating enough.

    Yes, yes and YES!

    1. Never, ever, ever, ever compare yourself to others. It only undermines yourself. You have no idea what they are actually doing and every body is different. What works for them may or may not work for you and what works for you may or may not work for them. Quit comparing yourself to others!

    2. To be sustain your weight loss, you have to be willing to do what you are doing for the rest of your life. Are you willing to exercise and eat the way you are now for the rest of your life? it sounds pretty miserable and absolutely unsustainable to me...

  • killerqueen21
    killerqueen21 Posts: 157 Member
    edited January 2015
    I started a very strict diet on 10/17/14 and I DO NOT cheat and my calories never go over 1000 a day. Yes I know it is low but it works for me. I do not log everyday and my profile is private. I eliminated all soda, fried foods, and junk food. I only eat baked meats and fresh veggies and I drink 80 oz of water a day. I go to the gym 5+ days a week, 2 days Zumba and do incline treadmill and weights. I have dropped 5 inches off my waist and I am down 23 pounds. I am very happy about that but what is sooo frustrating is I am busting my butt and the other two people are not putting in any effort at all and have dropped 40 for one and 34 for the other. I just needed to vent because I feel like crying. I know I should not compare myself to other people but I have just really felt really down and is all this effort doing any good. Should I not exercise? Since beginning a fitness routine my weight loss has significantly slowed. What am I doing wrong?

    Huh? Clearly that is not working for you. You need to reset. If those other individuals are bigger than you then they'll lose more weight. Do you even know what they're doing really? They may be starving themselves. You don't know that. Mind your own business, and I say that in a positive way.

    Comparison is the thief of joy. Eat more. Be patient. Keep going.
  • _FATNSASSY
    _FATNSASSY Posts: 107 Member
    The only person you should compare yourself to is YOU...yesterday... last week... etc