How do you stop living in extremes?

ClumsyArtist

For the better part of my adult life, I've lived on one of 2 ends of the spectrum. Either extreme laziness, overeating, and weight gain - or - extreme exercise, calorie deficit, and weight loss. Last year I lost 50 lbs using mfp and intense 30 min - 1 hr workouts around 5 days a week. I was only able to maintain for about 2 months until life got in the way, I lost my willpower/motivation, and it started piling back on... fast!

I'm back again to get back to where I was after the 50 lb loss and my question to those of you who have been successful maintaining is - how do you find balance? Has anyone else found themselves constantly bouncing between these extremes?

getstrongkaylen

what I would do is once you lose the weight, slowly up your calories to maintaining. your body is used the calorie deficit because you taught it that, so what you now need to do is teach your body the routine that it'll be in while maintaining. I think a lot people think they are gonna go on a diet, lose all the weight and then they can go back to how it was before. but obviously that is not going to work because that's the lifestyle that got you the extra weight in the first place. the hard part, I guess, is learning that a diet doesn't work - a diet means temporary- its about making healthy lifestyle changes that can last.

so when you go to restaurant, you still should be picking the grilled/ salad/ "healthy" things most of the time... BUT the other part of it is also saying, you know what, I'm gonna eat that huge piece cake, doing it enjoying it, and moving past it... moderation.. whether you in a calorie deficit or not! hope that kinda makes sense!

FitOldMomma

I read something recently that was kind of an 'ah ha' moment.
Basically it said that if we would spend just one tenth of the time we spend on exercise , instead on planning and prepping healthy food and meals; we'd have much better and sustainable outcomes.

I thought about that and compared the time I spend exercising (quite a LOT) and time I actually spend doing meal planning and prep. Not much.

I believe that people who are successful at weight loss and maintaining those losses are those who never stop making conscious choices every single day of the rest of their lives. I think once we get to that point of understanding- it will happen.

Perhaps you are going to 'gung-ho' and doing this like a sprint, rather than as a life time slow journey? Maybe find your maintenance daily calorie requirement, adding in a bit of daily exercise and just subtract a small number each day. Something like only 150- 200 calorie deficit. 175 calories per day less than you require would still mean a loss of nearly 19 pounds in one year.

beckalec79

While it's almost impossible not to focus one "the number" you eventually have to. Focus on improving your health with exercise AND nutrition and eventually your mindset and palette change.

A day off used to easily be spent on the couch all day, now I get restless and feel the need to do something (walking, yoga, cleaning) if I spend too much time inactive.

I used to crave salty snacks, mashed potatoes, bread with butter, and creamy cheesy pasta. Now I crave spicy roasted vegetables and homemade soups. I rarely use salt. I even use far less sugar in my coffee because I cut it back gradually.

Start by changing one thing in your diet and then gradually make more changing. And remember, calories are another number to look at differently. My favorite side dish has about 300 calories, but most of those calories are protein and fiber. That has a very different result than garlic mashed potatoes.

Adpalangi

beckalec79 wrote: »

While it's almost impossible not to focus one "the number" you eventually have to. Focus on improving your health with exercise AND nutrition and eventually your mindset and palette change.

A day off used to easily be spent on the couch all day, now I get restless and feel the need to do something (walking, yoga, cleaning) if I spend too much time inactive.

I used to crave salty snacks, mashed potatoes, bread with butter, and creamy cheesy pasta. Now I crave spicy roasted vegetables and homemade soups. I rarely use salt. I even use far less sugar in my coffee because I cut it back gradually.

Start by changing one thing in your diet and then gradually make more changing. And remember, calories are another number to look at differently. My favorite side dish has about 300 calories, but most of those calories are protein and fiber. That has a very different result than garlic mashed potatoes.

Hope you don't mind me asking, how to you spice up your roasted vegetables? I only use olive oil, and that's getting alittle old.... Thanks

Astronamy82

I love spicing up my roasted veggies but then I always have either chillies or garlic or both with almost every meal. I love spicy food in general and always using dried herbs and spices in food - I've got like 8 different types of chilli powder - but my favourite is cayenne pepper that is more of a warming spice then a HOT spice and does well with a lot. I like to mix up some rock salt with cayenne pepper and sprinkle over veggies tossed in hot oil and I add a few whole garlic cloves to the mix. I also love doing thyme, salt and garlic roasted potatoes.

beckalec79

The simplest spice is simple salt, pepper, and sliced garlic. I also love adding red pepper flakes and sometimes a small dash of cayenne. My fave dishes have much more kick...Google "jerk-spiced cauliflower, brussel sprouts and chic peas" (you can buy jerk spice and just roast all together for 35 minutes) or "curried cauliflower and green beans with lemon yogurt" which is my fave side for fish.

And of course...stir fry is wonderful because your starting with peppers and onions.

dakotababy

I am currently doing an "extreme" program (which basically includes watching my macros and doing insanity). Otherwise, I eat at a calorie deficit of about 200-300 off of my TDEE. I like pushing myself once in a while, but I always ALWAYS ALWAYS ask myself "can I do this forever?"

If the answer is no - then it is either temporary (a way to push my limits, test myself), or I do not bother. Everything you do, you should be able to pull it off for the rest of your life.

You really need to be honest with yourself though. Some people claim they can do low-no carb for the rest of their lives - those people, more often than not, gain their weight back. Some people say they can go to the gym 3+ hours a day, well one day they will get injured and/or burn out and gain their weight back.

This is not a race as there is no end.

RaspberryTickleChicken

It's funny OP posted this as I just came across an article that I shared in my news feed.

Here is a fantastic few tips from long term maintainers on the 'National Weight Control Registry' http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/14/weight-loss-maintenance-tips-success_n_6425542.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

Pay particular attention to #1
"1. They make the transition from losing to maintaining as seamless as possible."

I think in order for you to find balance you have to retrain the brain & approach during the weight loss process. The healthy habits learned through weight loss will be ingrained into everyday life and THAT is when balance can happen.

Best of luck to you!

P.S. Also try reading this on maintaining success:
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/health-fitness/q-and-a/a35063/rachel-piskin-profile/

"Know that you're not going to completely change your body in 30 days, even if you're eating the healthiest you could possibly eat. Patience is crucial. When you get frustrated, you beat yourself up, give up, and end up starting from scratch with something else. Stick with a fitness program you believe in. If you love how you feel when you're working out and moving, it will become part of your lifestyle instead of just about losing weight."

SezxyStef

ClumsyArtist wrote: »

For the better part of my adult life, I've lived on one of 2 ends of the spectrum. Either extreme laziness, overeating, and weight gain - or - extreme exercise, calorie deficit, and weight loss. Last year I lost 50 lbs using mfp and intense 30 min - 1 hr workouts around 5 days a week. I was only able to maintain for about 2 months until life got in the way, I lost my willpower/motivation, and it started piling back on... fast!

I'm back again to get back to where I was after the 50 lb loss and my question to those of you who have been successful maintaining is - how do you find balance? Has anyone else found themselves constantly bouncing between these extremes?

This is a simple answer...don't do extremes. I've lost 60lbs over 2 years not being extreme and find maitenance very easy to do. My exercise is about 20mins 4x a week (winter time) which is all weight lifting so there is absolutely no excuse to not do it...and that's a max of 20mins if I do accessories. Usually it's about 10-15mins. In the non winter seasons I usually do my weight lifting and walking/swimming/bike riding when I feel like it but I still log my calories and adjust as necessary.

As for my "diet" I don't do extremes there either, I eat the food I want/love/crave just stay in my reasonable deficit.

It really is about finding that balance.

You have learned how to lose weight now it's time to learn how to lose it and keep it off. That latter being the key.

ahoy_m8

Stef is right, of course, but it requires understanding the allure the extremes can have on the psyche.

I can identify. I've congratulated myself for an unsustainable, unhealthy deficit and rationalized a binge as being "fixable" with an unsustainable, unhealthy deficit. Each has its own twisted reward. The reward isn't that great (especially compared to the simple daily pleasures Stef describes), but it taps into the far reaches of the lizard brain where impulses are automatic, not rational. Whatever the subconscious "payoff" is for you, call it out and be honest about how rewarding it really is. It's not entirely unlike deciding to track honestly vs. fudging.

I've been maintaining my college weight for decades, and in my 20's it was between extremes. It's been a gradual process to call out the flawed thinking and my relationship with food has improved. Stef is absolutely right--it need not be difficult or complex.

LivingtheLeanDream

oldmomma wrote: »

I read something recently that was kind of an 'ah ha' moment.
Basically it said that if we would spend just one tenth of the time we spend on exercise , instead on planning and prepping healthy food and meals; we'd have much better and sustainable outcomes.

I thought about that and compared the time I spend exercising (quite a LOT) and time I actually spend doing meal planning and prep. Not much.

I believe that people who are successful at weight loss and maintaining those losses are those who never stop making conscious choices every single day of the rest of their lives. I think once we get to that point of understanding- it will happen.

Perhaps you are going to 'gung-ho' and doing this like a sprint, rather than as a life time slow journey? Maybe find your maintenance daily calorie requirement, adding in a bit of daily exercise and just subtract a small number each day. Something like only 150- 200 calorie deficit. 175 calories per day less than you require would still mean a loss of nearly 19 pounds in one year.

Wonderfully put ☺

kitkatbird

Make your goals longer. If your goal is to get to a certain weight as fast as possible then once you reach it you don't know what to do. Don't allow yourself to loose weight so fast. If it takes you 6 months to loose the weight normally then set a goal of being a target weight IN exactly one year not BY one year and maybe even every year on the same date. If your goals are less extreme then you should experience less extreme.

SuggaD

Find what will work for you long term. Find a passion. And learn to make healthy choices most of the time and moderation. Learn to enjoy life. And make long term plans. That's what works for me.

LiveFree0505

Raspberryticklechicken nailed it with the statement "The healthy habits learned through weight loss will be ingrained into everyday life and THAT is when balance can happen."
I just read the book The Power Of Habit, which details how our brains create and maintain habits. Our brains physically change with every habit that gets wired in, otherwise simply showering would be exhausting as you would have to stop and think of each individual step of the process. Anything we do regularly gets wired in to a habit so you can easily go on auto pilot. And once a habit is formed, it will always be in your brain, not because you're lacking in anything. The beautiful reality is you can create new habits, the longer you practice a more positive habit, the more likely you will fall to that habit automatically. Not exercising and over eating go hand in hand in your brain, as do exercising and extreme eating, but neither of those habits have worked for you. Feed the habit you want to keep. Best of luck to you!

drepublic

ClumsyArtist wrote: »

how do you find balance?

What are you reading? And what are you listening too everyday? Your life change starts with in. Why do you want to get healthy? <<-- How strong is this reason?

Recommended Readings for you:
1. Start with WHY
2. Failing Forward
3. The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth

I'm plugged into personal development daily...because i do not want to bounce back to the guy I used to be.

jgnatca

I'm the opposite of extreme. I am slow to make up my mind but when I do, I stick with it. I am very conservative with my dietary choices.

I have a book recommendation:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12609433-the-power-of-habit

I think you live with two versions of yourself; the power you and the lazy you. You only really appreciate one half. Integrate these two parts, embracing the joys of lazy days as much as your power days, and you could have a winning personality.

neanderthin

Are you an OCD type personality? Just curious.

myfitnesspale3

caloric burn of exercise is practically trivial compared to dietary deficit, so During weightloss my change in exercise was nil, the intensity was low, and the Exercise extreme did not happen. Just LCHF diet changes.

Increased exercise might have improved my focus on the weightloss goal, but my existing motivation was adequate for losing 2#/week via diet. Maintenance is easier since the diet is now relaxed. The only lasting extreme change has been daily weighing and weight record.

But nothing has actually "stopped" in maintenance.

Springfield1970

What works for me is eating all my favourite foods all the time, but on a cut its 1650 net, on maintenance its 1750 net and on a bulk its 2000 net. Then any exercise calories I do (I know the burn numbers from my garmin and years of tracking), I get to eat!

I also just stop logging once in a while and follow my instinct until my jeans get tight again and I realise I'm always naturally going to eat a little more than I need.

The best for me is a very slight cut, say 50-100 per day, then a nice feast now and again, which fits with my lifestyle perfectly.

goldthistime

Until recently, my profile included a reference to the rhyme "when she was good, she was very very good, and when she was bad she was horrid". I have wiped away thoughts of a number on the scales being the end goal. This includes removing the notification of weight loss from my feed. Although I do still weigh myself, I try to limit the time I spend thinking about it. My goal is ONLY small calorie deficit and daily exercise. There are times when I am sorely tempted to hurry the process along by going hungry, but I know that the more I suffer to lose weight, the more likely I will blow it at some point.