Help.

laurenestellitano351

three years ago I weighed 260 lbs. when I saw that number on the scale something clicked in my head and I just started getting healthy and eating right. I needed to. And I did it. In two years I got down to 135 lbs. but I was obsessed with being healthy to a point where it wasn't healthy. I'd get super anxious and depressed if I skipped the gym for even 1 day. Or if I over ate. I always felt like I could gain weight just looking at food. I cried a lot and I felt like those closest to me would get very frustrated with me and my obsessive healthy related topic of conversations. Once I got down to my goal weight I lightened up a bit with the gym, 4-5 days a week now. And only a bit more lenient with my food intake. I definitely don't and will never eat food the way I used to. But with that in mind in this past year I've gained back 30 lbs. Im on track losing the weight again. But I hate that I can't just live. I have to constantly work at losing weight. Because if I'm not losing im gaining. Anyway, my point of this post is to find out whether or not anyone had experience anything similar. I feel like I'm constantly on the edge of failing. I don't want to have that anxiety anymore.


Also I wrote this on my smartphone so if there are any grammatical or spelling issues I do apologize.

julie_past

I understand how you are feeling. I have the same issue. I overthink everything to the point of wanting to scream. If you want to message me feel free.

tibby531

I have that probelm, too. I'll be logging my food for the rest of my health-focused life. the thing to realize is that this IS for life. you can control it without obsessing (or so they say. I think I have mine under control, but my boyfriend says I'm crazy. ). I've found that consistency is your great asset. And I've learned that you don't need to undereat and overexert yourself to lose weight (if that's the only thing that works, you need to adjust your numbers).

also, I take one day a week to eat whatever I want; all the treats I can't stop thinking about during the week. it's one day, it's not going to ruin everything.

I'm not sure if you're looking for advice or friends, but I pretty much live here if you need either.

best of luck, either way!

kailibertsch

I totally know what you mean. I've gained and lost all through my life. When I'm in the losing phases I get obsessed. Constantly calculating how many calories I can have, or I should cut, If I lost X amount of weight per week I would weigh Y amount by such date. I also feel I am starting to annoy people with constantly talking about my what I am eating or my workouts, etc. For me, I've just been trying to be more conscious of it and keep my mouth shut around those who I think may be getting annoyed. I'm also working on stopping the constant number crunching. I have my goals set in MFP, I weigh and log all my food, that is good enough.

I haven't entirely figured out the working out guilt. So many times I say to myself, "I am going to take a rest day today" but then my entire day I am obsessing over the fact that if I skip working out just once, I might fall out of the habit and never do it again. Lol. Silly, I know, but it doesn't take me long to fall out of healthy habits. On my "rest" days I still get in some light walking or pilates and it makes me feel better-that at least I did something. I am not the type that can work out every day...I just don't enjoy it that much and doing so would burn me out and discourage me.

m0rg0n_

When I read this post, I felt trapped--claustrophobic, suffocating, restrained--and I'm truly sorry if this is in fact how you feel. Nobody has to live like this. It doesnt sound like youre very happy--arent you exhausted by this number game? I know I am, too. I can empathize with the sensation of imprisonment in your post and that worries me. I have been in and out of eating disorder treatment facilities, and most of the fantastic people I met there will die victims of their illness. It is a toxic and consuming disease that only leads to despair and despondency. What truly helps with obsessive thoughts is therapy. Youve trained your brain to revolve around diet and exercise and I would be excited to hear your experience in a world where you value yourself for other things -- interests, friendships, passions -- than arbitrary numbers. Try to team up with a therapist and retrain your brain, and I promise you can break this tiresome cycle !

laineybz

I get where the OP is coming from. I let loose over the christmas period and literally ate whatever I wanted. I only weigh in once a month and according to the scales, i only put a lb on. I was over the moon with that! I've changed my exercise slightly, am trying to incorporate weights. I can honestly say, i needed that break. That time to let my hair down. I feel much happier in myself for it.

nxd10

You've moved your body to a healthier place, but not yet your mind and soul. Have you thought about making yoga and meditation part of your workout to reduce your anxiety?

Or work with a counsellor or personal trainer to help you with other issues that make you anxious and perhaps a bit obsessive? A short investment in time might have long term payoffs in happiness.