Could use some help with my diet and getting started

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I'm trying really hard to lose weight and at this current point, I have about 100 pounds to lose and have been working on it off and on since I graduated from high school about 6 years ago. I'm 258 pounds and want to get down to about 150, with a big reason being for health reasons and also to be able to be around a long time for my 2 beautiful kids. I didn't have a terrible weight problem and wasn't really badly overweight until after high school and every since then I have packing on pounds and struggling to get them off. Growing up, my parents (mostly my mom because my dad was always gone on military duty) pretty much let my brothers and I eat whatever we wanted and this included chips, soda, etc. I struggle so terribly much with controlling myself around soda and chips.

When I'm stressed or even just extremely hungry I can down soda and an entire bag of chips like none other. Exercise isn't really too much of a problem for me and I actually kind of enjoy it once I get myself to the gym and start moving. Nutrition is though and it's mostly the junk food.

Anyways, I can usually be great with my nutrition during the day when I'm working on trying to lose weight and get into better shape but at night is when I am hit with the most intense hunger ever. It will either hit in the evening hours before bed and hit at night while I'm asleep (and it will wake me up). What would be your suggestions to keep this from happening? I try to distract myself but I feel like it makes the cravings worse and all I can think about is food at nighttime.

I believe this is a major factor that is contributing to extremely slow/ no weight loss at all. How do I keep the before-bedtime or midnight binging from happening? I will try to push myself to eat the healthy food but before I know it, I've scarfed down chips, 2 cans of Dr. Pepper, and another snack before I realized what has happened and then feel immensely guilty about it.

Also, lastly, how do you handle discouragement from family, etc. Maybe they mean well but growing up, most of my life when my parents would get mad at me or my brothers wanted to hurt me in the most painful way, sometimes they would call me fatty, etc. I started to become overweight in my early teenage years but nothing like until after I graduated from high school in 08'. And now, my dad always gets after me constantly about losing weight and comparing me to other people that dropped a ton of weight in like 3 or 4 months and how if only I was "dedicated" like them I could do it too, but then tears me down saying I'm just making excuses because I tell him I don't want to or think its safe to lose the weight that quickly and I want to be able to sustain it long-term. He just keeps telling me over and over that I need to have more will-power and stop making excuses but says it in a tone to belittle me.

My parents and brothers are pretty skinny and have never struggled with weight. I used to be really skinny too until my early teenage years and then it spiraled down from that and instead of encouraging me, they would belittle me anytime I ate too much junk food or whatever and I think that is what resulted in me starting to emotional eat and eat junk when they weren't looking. And anytime I do kind of make any progress, they don't focus on that but rather "Yeah you lost 5 pounds but you could lost a lot more if you would stop falling off the wagon and eating chips or soda", etc. And all my dad does is constantly remind me I need to lose weight (as if I already don't know this). I don't know, deep down, I don't feel like it's coming from a place of worry as much as shame. I sometimes think my family and especially my dad is embarrassed because I'm the only overweight one in the family.

Replies

  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
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    Best advice is to stop listening to all the negatives you get from your family. This is your life not theirs. Secondly, start logging what you eat on a daily basis. Whatever you eat. No foods are forbidden, just need to eat less of them. After a week, see of you can make small changes like: diet soda, water, ice tea or air popped popcorn. You can this!!

    Read the stickies at the top of some of these boards especially the success stories. Best of luck :)
  • trinatrina1984
    trinatrina1984 Posts: 1,018 Member
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    Hi, what I would suggest is a few things
    1stly setting a sensible defecit, MFP usually gives you a target of 1200 if you chose 2lbs per week loss - this is too low for most people.
    - Find out your TDEE and set a calorie goal under this.
    - Plan and log your foods at the start of the day - maybe allowing yourself a packet of crisps / soda in the evening.
    - Don't make any drastic changes - you can still have "unhealthy food" as long as you are eating at a deficit you will lose weight.
    - If you don't already have one get a food scale -and weigh and log EVERYTHING.

    Hope that helps, good luck!
  • trinatrina1984
    trinatrina1984 Posts: 1,018 Member
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    Also be patient, there are no quick fixes, it's all about making small sustainable changes :)
  • Amanda4change
    Amanda4change Posts: 620 Member
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    My first piece of advise is to get rid of the toxic people in your life. If your dad is saying that kind of stuff to you, stand up for yourself and tell him to stop, if he doesn't limit the amount of time that you spend with him or taking to him. I know I made that sound simple and that it's hard to do, but you need to take care of yourself first. If binging on junk is a problem for you, keep the junk out of your house. As for the late night hunger, divide your daily calories up so that you have more smaller meals or 3 meals plus snacks, and eat on a schedule as opposed to waiting for hunger to hit. I usually eat a snack that's high in protein before bed (like Greek yogurt, protein bar etc). Good luck, feel free to friend me if you wish
  • Robbnva
    Robbnva Posts: 590 Member
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    I do think you need to give up soda and start drinking water. Took me like 2 weeks to completely detox and like water. It'll be one of the best things you can do.

    Also I agree with the 3 meals and snacks. I have a morning and afternoon snack and 3 smaller meals. Exercise everyday, even if its just a 2 mile walk around your neighborhood. I never in my life thought I could lose weight, but I'm almost 80lbs down in 7 months. You can do it, and if you have a bad day, just start again the next day. Don't get discouraged and never deprive yourself. Good luck
  • byvanzant
    byvanzant Posts: 18 Member
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    I totally understand how you are feeling and you know I finally decided that the first thing for me was to love me for who I am and not what others want me to be. Once I finally became comfortable in the skin I was in then mentally it hit that I was ready to start changing my lifestyle and work on becoming fit for me. I too have people that try to knock my self esteem down but the thing is that they don't understand the challenges and you have to address what is truly making you keep the weight on. Now that I know what it is I am ready to get healthy. As for the hunger and the choices you are doing a lifestyle change so nothing is off limits just document it and keep going forward. I was told that choosing high fiber things such as oatmeal and apples help curb hunger and I agree with a previous post of water. When I started I cut out coffee and sodas cold turkey and have been drinking water ever since and in addition to help me stay fuller longer my skin looks awesome! You can do this and don't let anyone tell you that you cant just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
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    We can't pick our families....sigh. Okay, eat at a deficit, get moving and be patient. You've got this!
  • SergeantSausage
    SergeantSausage Posts: 1,673 Member
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    I think Dad's spot on. It's time to be honest with yourself and quit making excuses .

    You already know what you need to do, now just go out there and do it.

    No excuses.
  • namelesshere
    namelesshere Posts: 334 Member
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    First of all, quite buying the junk food and that includes soda. If it is out of the house you think longer about if you really need it. Instead, dedicate that amount to your children's college funds. Next, tell your family to buzz off (in a polite way) and let them know you are under doctor's care. (you do see a doctor once in a while, don't you?) Now time to do some on what you really are going to eat and the type of example you will be setting for your children. Make up a week of portion control snacks for yourself. You may want to vary it, I use cereal (not the total sugar bombs though), pretzels, airpopt popcorn but I also use cucumber chunks, grapes, carrots, and celery. It is all about calorie deficit so the next step would be to use this website to its fullest and log everything you eat. Lately I have been logging in the first two meals before I eat them, so I know what kind of supper I can have. If I need more supper than the calories I have left, I better get a move on and do some exercise to "earn" my supper. I also have started sipping ice water throughout the day instead of the soda. It might take awhile to develop the taste for it, but I found I adapted very quickly... Remember your junk food dollars are now going to your children's college fund and they are worth it. Now, of course you might want to treat yourself maybe once a month. Not a problem, just make sure you buy a small bag, log the calories, and enjoy.
  • fitnesskate90
    fitnesskate90 Posts: 6 Member
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    I am actually not the one buying the chips and the pop, etc. My kids and I am living with my parents for the time being and they are the ones that buy it. The house between my parents and 2 younger brothers is filled with cupcakes, donuts, chips, soda, etc. So if you live with someone else at the moment and this is what you are surrounded by, how do you keep yourself then from constantly falling off the wagon and not to be tempted. I will do well for a short bit and then cave in to that crap. What helps keep you going and keeps you motivated?
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    Robbnva wrote: »
    I do think you need to give up soda and start drinking water. Took me like 2 weeks to completely detox and like water. It'll be one of the best things you can do.

    Also I agree with the 3 meals and snacks. I have a morning and afternoon snack and 3 smaller meals. Exercise everyday, even if its just a 2 mile walk around your neighborhood. I never in my life thought I could lose weight, but I'm almost 80lbs down in 7 months. You can do it, and if you have a bad day, just start again the next day. Don't get discouraged and never deprive yourself. Good luck

    Why? If it fits into your calorie goal, why should you drop it? I personally drink diet because regular tastes too sweet for me. I also drink a lot of iced tea. I can't stand plain water.


  • busheajennifer
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    I just started this app today.. I've tried juicing and the low carb diet. It works but hungry all the time and bad headaches so I choose this started with 1200 calories a day..first day no headache or hunger pains..as for water I hate it..but stuck with it now that's all I drink except right before bed a nice hot cup of tea with lemon..caffeine free..good luck to you
  • gle8442
    gle8442 Posts: 126 Member
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    After-dinner cravings used to be a big issue for me too. What helped me, maybe it can help you, was to pick a time of day when you want to stop eating, and then give yourself a little ritual like tea or a cup of milk or a glass of water, and then be done with food for the night. At first your body will fight you and it will be rough, but it should start to get easier each day because your body will stop "expecting" food at that time, if you know what I mean.

    For the second point, I have no advice since the only thing that helped me was limiting contact and you can't do that as you live with them. Just be strong, do your best, and don't feel bad or like you have failed even if they tell you that you are failing. Their inability to be supportive says a lot about their own weaknesses, but it doesn't make you weak!!! When they talk like that just ignore them and stay on your own path.
  • k2mexox
    k2mexox Posts: 72 Member
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    Add me as a friend we are the same age and about the same weight. We could be good motivation for each other! If chips are a big deal to you get a food scale if you don't have one and proportion them out into ziplock bags so when you have a craving you can stay within calorie but satisfy your cravings
  • jmorm
    jmorm Posts: 3 Member
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    I know it sounds hard (and silly) - but try turning around and walking away when you see the junk food, and then tell yourself 'well done' for not giving in to it. I feel so proud of myself when I am able to say 'no' to something! What helped me turn away from junk food was finding replacements that were healthy, but tasted just as good. Ever since I started buying choc-coated protein bars, I've never looked back! They are a reward for me now and I look forward to them when I have my 1 per day. And besides, you can still eat the foods you enjoy (such as chips or even chocolate), you just really need to consider whether you can budget them in to your daily calories. It is all about everything in moderation and treating your body well! But my best advice is to find something that can replace the junk food and will lower your calorie intake, but you can still enjoy what you are eating.
    I know it is seemingly obvious considering you're on the MFP website right now, but logging absolutely everything that you eat (and be honest with yourself about how much you are eating, including weighing accurately) and realising what you are putting in to your body will truly help you and is very important. It is all about being true to you and doing it for you. Don't worry about what other people say. Do it for how great your body will feel when you nourish it through better choices. As many others have suggested, have a look through these forums and look for tips and advice! The chances are that you will find many people who are in the exact same boat. You can absolutely, 100% do this! Well done for taking the first step and trying :)
  • JenniferHontz
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    I need to lose about the same. Also i have been struggling with my weight my whole life. You are still young enough to make some positve life changes. Taking care of your children and yourself is difficult at times. Think of your health the same way you would your kids. You are important and you deserve to be treated with respect. Surround yourself with a positive environment. I try to remove myself from negative attitudes. Eating healthy is just the beginning. I have some people that talk the sameway about losing weight. I really can't give you advice about losing weight, but I know where you coming from. It isn't a quick fix. I have tried for so long. Right now i am getting my emotions in the right place. Like when i reach for something, i think to myself, am i hungry or bored, mad, sad, happy. Try it! As far as soda, maybe ween yourself off. I like water, but coffee is my addiction. Good luck and I wish you great success! !
  • jgroskreutz
    jgroskreutz Posts: 2 Member
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    Log ALL of your calories. It becomes a habit and I think it helps to see everything you put in your mouth. I chew a lot of gum during the day which helps with no snacking at my desk. I'm on da 10 without my one diet pepsi a day and I'm' much less bloated and I don't even miss it! :) Good luck on your journey. It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it.
  • Robbnva
    Robbnva Posts: 590 Member
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    elphie754 wrote: »
    Robbnva wrote: »
    I do think you need to give up soda and start drinking water. Took me like 2 weeks to completely detox and like water. It'll be one of the best things you can do.

    Also I agree with the 3 meals and snacks. I have a morning and afternoon snack and 3 smaller meals. Exercise everyday, even if its just a 2 mile walk around your neighborhood. I never in my life thought I could lose weight, but I'm almost 80lbs down in 7 months. You can do it, and if you have a bad day, just start again the next day. Don't get discouraged and never deprive yourself. Good luck

    Why? If it fits into your calorie goal, why should you drop it? I personally drink diet because regular tastes too sweet for me. I also drink a lot of iced tea. I can't stand plain water.


    Because of all the negative effects. Sure if you can plan in regular soda great, but they are sabotaging your diet, especially diet soda. Diet soda makes you crave sweets (many studies support this). I cut out soda and after 2 weeks hardly ever crave sweets anymore. It makes it much easier to change your lifestyle (what people should do instead of diet) if you cut out things like artificial sweetener and caffeine.
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
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    Lol. If I had to cut caffeine out of my day, I wouldn't have made it long enough to lose 5 pounds, much less make it a lifestyle change. There's no point in doing something to lose weight that you can't live with long-term. There's no way I'm giving up my morning coffee forever. Sorry.

    Same here.

    Actually, if I had to cut caffeine out of my day, I'd probably be struggling to eat healthy food in prison, 'cause I might've killed someone by now.