We broke up because...

47Jacqueline

She had no appreciation of small furry things

henshemi

csbnga wrote: »

She wanted me to be completely hairless

He stole my hat!

jbuzzed

He painted our room blue and white

LiftingRiot

We just started seeing each other and she started taking possession of my things

Darklords

he wouldn't share his things

jbuzzed

She left lipstick stains on everything

jo_madre

he has a p3nis

RunTimer

h3 wr0t3 !n w3!rd symb0ls

slimgirljo15

We didn't he's still tied up in the basement ..

jbuzzed

I found men tied up in her basement

musclegood_fatbad

Only wanted to hang out in the basement

RunTimer

Thought the Alamo had a basement

synchkat

Doesn't remember the Alamo even though we were there last week

RunTimer

told her to choose between skating or me

jbuzzed

Was so anti winter sports

TxLisa251

He wore Superman underoos to bed.

RunTimer

had to

all my ex'es live in texas

Bonny132

Could not handle a non Texas woman....

RunTimer

she got mad when I sang My Bonny lies over the ocean

and I did it all the time

slimgirljo15

He still wanted his ex..not ready to move on

RunTimer

She got mad when I dropped my chocolate in her peanut butter

"No, you dropped your peanut butter in my chocolate!"

Bonny132

Kept "forgetting" I am allergic to peanuts....

RunTimer

Her lisp drove me nuts..she kept call my privates her peanuts

Bonny132

Kept using peanut flavoured lube... My lips put Mick Jagger to shame.

slimgirljo15

His peanuts were not impressive

RunTimer

accidentally confused krazy glue with lip stick..

after the surgery I was unable to satisfy her

JackKopCh

You'd never take the medal off when we were making sweet love.

Bonny132

Kept talking about @RunTimer in his sleep, every freaking night!

ClubSilencio

her gingerbread cookies were not as good as my last girlfriend's. Blame the gluten-free flour, gurl -- not me.

_fitness4life_

He wouldn't take me out. I think he was embarrassed