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We broke up because...

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Replies

  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
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    He was "little" :D
  • g44219
    g44219 Posts: 3,665 Member
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    I tried to switch her eye glasses to a stronger magnification before I got my pants off. she didn't fall for it
  • MJFSH
    MJFSH Posts: 7,252 Member
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    Didn't wanted to get out that pool ever! made me wonder! :/
  • g44219
    g44219 Posts: 3,665 Member
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    she was too much like a Gremlin. Couldn't feed her after midnight and couldn't get her wet
  • g44219
    g44219 Posts: 3,665 Member
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    he turned green after eating a meal I cooked
  • MJFSH
    MJFSH Posts: 7,252 Member
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    He was always thinking about feeding and being fed!
  • g44219
    g44219 Posts: 3,665 Member
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    she never cooked or cleaned
  • MJFSH
    MJFSH Posts: 7,252 Member
    edited October 2016
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    He didn't appreciate a lady is more than cooking and cleaning! self maintenance is a big deal man!
  • g44219
    g44219 Posts: 3,665 Member
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    she planned a day of "self maintenance" at the spa and I checked my account balance afterwards....
  • MJFSH
    MJFSH Posts: 7,252 Member
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    was getting overly excited over any changes in his account balance!
  • g44219
    g44219 Posts: 3,665 Member
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    she just never gave me anything to get excited about.
  • MJFSH
    MJFSH Posts: 7,252 Member
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    uuuuggghhh even striptease wasn't getting him excited anymore!
    and i wasn't a green bill so had to break up!
  • g44219
    g44219 Posts: 3,665 Member
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    found out she did a striptease every evening after dinner. Only problem was I worked nights :anguished:
  • MJFSH
    MJFSH Posts: 7,252 Member
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    Lol
    money was all that mattered! was sending his identical twin over to hide his second full-time job!
  • g44219
    g44219 Posts: 3,665 Member
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    she tried to pretend she couldn't tell me and my brother apart!
  • MJFSH
    MJFSH Posts: 7,252 Member
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    He claimed he wasn't playing head games with me. The claim itself was a head-game!

    now everyone believes we should break up! lol
  • g44219
    g44219 Posts: 3,665 Member
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    she was paying too much attention to what her friends thought about me
  • MJFSH
    MJFSH Posts: 7,252 Member
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    uuuuggghhh he resisted when i tried to make it up to him with a hot steamy alone time session.
  • g44219
    g44219 Posts: 3,665 Member
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    she left a pan of cooking oil on the stove with the burner going and went to the store Yea.. it got hot and steamy alright.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
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    Blamed me when his house burned down!

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