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We broke up because...
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She was always hanging out at the pub across the street from the coffee shop0
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she kept flashing the pastor0
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he sold his racecar0
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She would never let me put it in overdrive1
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he asked me to style my beard after him.0
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I ofter spoke in the form of soliloquies...0
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He often spoke to me in languages I didn't understand, like Pig Latin0
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she took photos of us together, and cropped me up posting them as selfies1
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hesay evernay istenedlay otay emay1
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He observed "Opposite Day" every Wednesday.0
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she put too much starch the laundry0
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He never saw me as his true love0
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We often confused true love with true like...0
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Never made me feel wanted0
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She gave me store-bought refrigerated meatballs for Valentine's Day.0
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She ate all my chocolate on valentines day and would not share0
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he acts like a drill sergeant0
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Never let me have the neighbors dog to call my own0
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