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We broke up because...
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So many layers to this break up. And even more tears0
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insisted on drinking beetroot juice0
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Walked around flexing and doing Arnold impersonations.0
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He was shrek0
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he offered me candy and to get in the back of his van0
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he took my candy!0
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he took my phone0
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he fell asleep so wouldn't help out with Ali!0
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he stole my strategy!0
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I had no clue what was going on0
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Just look at the *squirrels* sweetheart...0
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I tried to explain it to Ali, but more sloooooooowwwwwwlyyyyyy0
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He was into some really weird *kitten*0
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She only had eyes for *squirrels*!0
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He lost his eyes in a tragic accident and really the only appeal I have is looks so we were through0
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she arranged a 'tragic accident' that cost me my eyes!0
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I found a Dominatrix outfit locked in her car trunk.0
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she kept wearing stolen Dominatrix outfits!0
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He stole my heart.
Then stomped on it.0 -
she didn't understand how smitten I was!0
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