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We broke up because...
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He liked to sleep in a coffin. That creeped me out0
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She refused to sleep with me in my coffin. How rude!0
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He confused a sarcophagus with a coffin.0
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He forgot my birthday for 30 years.0
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She turned 30.0
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He couldn't carry a tune0
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0
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He would never come home0
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She never showed up for adult time. I waited and waited but still no kelarita!!0
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Wouldn't step up the phone selfie game0
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His selfies we're better than mine0
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He caught me sneaking back on the game boards0
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Caught her sneaking a peek in the neighbours window0
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The neighbor was a Hottie and I was only Human after all!
(I couldn't stay away from the boards, I was going crazy from boredom!!!)0 -
we haven't broken up Linda, I'm still tied to your bed!!!!1
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He was always confusing me with Slim!
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Someone else had tied themselves to her bed.0
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He obviously knew that I had nothing to do with it, but blamed me anyway!0
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I was freaked out, he wasn't wearing much. I didn't figure out it was a self inflicted leashing to her bed until I ran away.0
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Ran for the hills, never to be seen again!0
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