Hello! Need advice for 15 year old daughter!

phoebe1975

Hello- I am on MFP for weight loss, but I noticed the weight gain section and was hoping someone could give me some advice. My daughter is 15 and a competitive dancer. She dances ALL THE TIME (sometimes 20 hours a week!!). She has also recently lost a lot of weight from a combination of new braces, dancing, and just being busy (as she says, I forget to eat). She definitely does not have an eating disorder, and I took her to the doctor last week to make sure everything was okay. She is very muscular and weighs 104 lbs (she is 5'3"). I just want her to gain weight, but don't want to make it into a big ordeal where she starts to focus on calories and eating all the time.

I was wondering how much she should be eating (like 3000 calories?). Is it bad if I make her a milkshake in the morning with some healthy ingredients too? What can I add to make her put on a couple pounds? Thanks for your help!!

blueboxgeek

What did the doctor say? Did he/she think your daughter needed to gain weight?

trufflecshuffle

Just keep in mind, if she stops menstruating and continues to have a low body weight that is somethig to bring up to her pediatrician. As for shakes, just make sure she's getting the protein she needs with the amount of physical activity she's doing - adding whey to shakes is a good option.

CarrieCans

When i was 15 i was a competitive dancer too. I was 5'4 and weighed around 150 lbs. I was seriously fit back then. <sigh> Everyone is going to be different so if she is small framed i would think she might not want to be that big.

Get her to start eating more protein. Start switching out portion sizes of her foods. She doesn't need to be aware of any changes because they can be small.

If she plans on dancing for many more years, it wouldn't hurt for her to understand the macro part of things. She can be conscious of which things will help her in the long run without counting the calories themselves. Teach her to focus on the fuels for her activities.

I really wish i would have had a better understanding of that part of it all when i was that age. When the dancing stopped, my weight shot up and i lost a lot of muscle.

phoebe1975

Thanks for the replies! She went in for a general check-up, and he said he wasn't worried about it as of now (everything was fine- blood work, etc.)....but she is definitely in the lower percentile for her weight and height. She does not have a normal menstrual cycle (she skips some months) and is going to see a gynecologist next week (some of the other dancers also skip periods- I know this is not normal). I will get the whey protein today!!

phoebe1975

CarrieCans wrote: »

When i was 15 i was a competitive dancer too. I was 5'4 and weighed around 150 lbs. I was seriously fit back then. <sigh> Everyone is going to be different so if she is small framed i would think she might not want to be that big.

Get her to start eating more protein. Start switching out portion sizes of her foods. She doesn't need to be aware of any changes because they can be small.

If she plans on dancing for many more years, it wouldn't hurt for her to understand the macro part of things. She can be conscious of which things will help her in the long run without counting the calories themselves. Teach her to focus on the fuels for her activities.

I really wish i would have had a better understanding of that part of it all when i was that age. When the dancing stopped, my weight shot up and i lost a lot of muscle.

She is small framed, but I guess what has me worried is she was 120 pounds a year ago- and the braces and a new ballet teacher has seemed to slim her down too much!! Many of the girls have went from larger, muscular thighs to an elongated look, if that makes sense. Anyway, thanks you guys I will definitely up her protein, add a milkshake with whey, and try to sneak in bigger portions!

3laine75

I'd say, as a dancer, she's going to need carbs, carbs, carbs for energy to fuel gruelling practise sessions.

Plenty of snacks be they 'junk' or 'healthy'.

Hopefully @JoRocka‌ will chime in, as a dancer herself, I'm sure she'd have some tips for you.

I honestly would not waste money on whey protein if she eats a normal diet.

radmack

If they have a new ballet teacher and the thighs have slimmed, it could be from better technique. Ballet done wrong leads to more bulky muscles than ballet done right. (Both my daughters danced for years with one continuing for fun in college.)

Springfield1970

I'd say no to the whey protein too. Lots of fun snacks and food events. It's so hard to cook buttery Nutella pancakes when you're on a cut, but I have to do this for my skinny 10 year old.

High calorie sandwich fillings, muller rice, fruit, smoothies, and sneak some full fat dairy in there too.
Bagels pasta and bananas! If she can't eat volume you'll have to sneak in the high calorie stuff.

Springfield1970

radmack wrote: »

If they have a new ballet teacher and the thighs have slimmed, it could be from better technique. Ballet done wrong leads to more bulky muscles than ballet done right. (Both my daughters danced for years with one continuing for fun in college.)

If muscles grow or shrink its to do with calorie consumption. The muscles will grow if they are being worked hard and there is an excess calorie situation.

im genuinely intrigued about better ballet technique creating slimmer thigh muscles. Can you expand on that?

Springfield1970

phoebe1975 wrote: »

CarrieCans wrote: »

When i was 15 i was a competitive dancer too. I was 5'4 and weighed around 150 lbs. I was seriously fit back then. <sigh> Everyone is going to be different so if she is small framed i would think she might not want to be that big.

Get her to start eating more protein. Start switching out portion sizes of her foods. She doesn't need to be aware of any changes because they can be small.

If she plans on dancing for many more years, it wouldn't hurt for her to understand the macro part of things. She can be conscious of which things will help her in the long run without counting the calories themselves. Teach her to focus on the fuels for her activities.

I really wish i would have had a better understanding of that part of it all when i was that age. When the dancing stopped, my weight shot up and i lost a lot of muscle.

She is small framed, but I guess what has me worried is she was 120 pounds a year ago- and the braces and a new ballet teacher has seemed to slim her down too much!! Many of the girls have went from larger, muscular thighs to an elongated look, if that makes sense. Anyway, thanks you guys I will definitely up her protein, add a milkshake with whey, and try to sneak in bigger portions!

1. All the girls have grown, that may explain the slimmer legs.
2. There could be a competitive skinniness going on there! Watch the ballet teacher isn't giving 'advice' or pressure. I teach 2 prima ballerinas, and I shudder at some of stories.

phoebe1975

Springfield1970 wrote: »

radmack wrote: »

If they have a new ballet teacher and the thighs have slimmed, it could be from better technique. Ballet done wrong leads to more bulky muscles than ballet done right. (Both my daughters danced for years with one continuing for fun in college.)

If muscles grow or shrink its to do with calorie consumption. The muscles will grow if they are being worked hard and there is an excess calorie situation.

im genuinely intrigued about better ballet technique creating slimmer thigh muscles. Can you expand on that?

Honestly, I am not sure about the mechanics- but I think Radmack is right because since the new teacher came (I said a year ago but it's prob been more like 1.5 years), most of the girls have slimmer thighs now- they just aren't as bulky. But, they are still muscular, but they look more toned if that makes sense?!

phoebe1975

Springfield1970 wrote: »

I'd say no to the whey protein too. Lots of fun snacks and food events. It's so hard to cook buttery Nutella pancakes when you're on a cut, but I have to do this for my skinny 10 year old.

High calorie sandwich fillings, muller rice, fruit, smoothies, and sneak some full fat dairy in there too.
Bagels pasta and bananas! If she can't eat volume you'll have to sneak in the high calorie stuff.

Thank you for the advice! She loves Nutella and bananas- part of the problem is she eats really healthy on her own lol- she loves salads and vegetables, which is great, but she needs more calories- again thanks for the advice!!!

gothchiq

I would love to know how this leg muscle elongation is accomplished. I'm not a dancer, but I am a person who develops big ol' bulk doing ANYTHING and my thighs bulge and pants never, ever fit right. Very frustrated.

gothchiq

As for your daughter, lest I derail things: Cheese!!! It has calcium, protein, *and* fat, and almost everybody loves it!

phoebe1975

gothchiq wrote: »

As for your daughter, lest I derail things: Cheese!!! It has calcium, protein, *and* fat, and almost everybody loves it!

Thanks for the advice- I am making a grocery list from y'alls advice!

As far as the elongated muscles, I know that her ballet "workout" consists mainly of plies, lots and lots of plies- and then, when they are sick of plies, they do even more plies lol. Then they stretch and stretch and stretch- she uses a superiorband and basically sleeps with it...literally I have found it in her bed before

KatieHall77

With competitive athletes, this is actually pretty normal. Gymnasts in the Olympics, etc. By all means provide her with easy mobile snacks, especially when she's really busy, but it doesn't sound like she has a problem. The doctor does not sound very worried about her at this point.
My sister and I did competitive figure skating as teens and we often would skip a month or two of menstruation, especially with intense training months. It will return to normal when she "retires" from highly intense dancing. I think my mom worried about us too at the time, but my sister and I went on to give her five grand- children between the two of us.

AliceDark

She's at a stage where her whole body shape will be changing a lot anyway, so the look of her legs probably isn't a concern as much as her total body weight and the fact that she's losing weight. Has she gotten taller in the past 1.5 years? That plus the drop in weight would account for her legs looking more elongated.

If she likes vegetables, try roasting them. You can add a lot of fat and calories from olive oil and they won't "feel" heavy or greasy to her. Plus, they're softer than raw vegetables so they will be easier to eat on days when her braces are painful.

At 15, isn't it somewhat common for girls to have irregular periods? Obviously, please check with her gyno and take their advice, but I'm not sure whether or not that's a huge red flag for someone her age (whereas it would be if she were a little older).

phoebe1975

KatieHall77 wrote: »

With competitive athletes, this is actually pretty normal. Gymnasts in the Olympics, etc. By all means provide her with easy mobile snacks, especially when she's really busy, but it doesn't sound like she has a problem. The doctor does not sound very worried about her at this point.
My sister and I did competitive figure skating as teens and we often would skip a month or two of menstruation, especially with intense training months. It will return to normal when she "retires" from highly intense dancing. I think my mom worried about us too at the time, but my sister and I went on to give her five grand- children between the two of us.

Thanks- that does make me feel better, and I am a worrier. I am also a hypochondriac so that makes my anxiety even more pronounced lol!

echofm1

You don't even need to necessarily add in extra snacks and foods and shakes. If you're making meals, you can make her stuff more calorie dense. Kind of like the Michael Phelps approach. Full fat dressing on her salad, use oil instead of the oil spray, put real butter on/in mashed potatoes, etc. These things don't add a lot of extra food, which can get rejected because someone isn't hungry. None of these things are bad, and can even have a lot of health benefits because your body really does need fats.

Peanut butter is also a great calorie dense food, and delicious.

Aviva92

When I graduated high school, I was probably around 105 pounds and 5'4". I'm guessing that when i was 15, I was under 100 pounds. This doesn't strike me as underweight for her age, but everyone is different. I also was never 120 pounds at that age, so it might be for her. I was naturally skinny.

FitterinaBallerina

Wow, there's a lot to consider here.

A little about me, I'm a professional ballerina. I'm 31 and still perform and am looking for a new company position this year. I've been training in ballet since I was about 10 so I've had a long history with ballet.

I've never eaten 3,000 calories a day nor have I ever felt that my calorie consumption (between 1,500-2,100) has ever not been enough to sustain my rehearsal and workout routine. I'm a professional, sometimes putting in 8-16 hours a day of class, rehearsals and gym time. I'm 5'5 and I'm currently at 112. Right now I am not dancing at my highest potential as I'm not currently in season so I weigh more and eat a bit less since I don't need as many calories to sustain my current routine. When I'm in season I weigh between 105-110 I eat closer to 2,000 and off season between 110-115. To give an idea....5'3 at 104 I would say is a good weight for a dancer who is in season (dancing everyday or several hours a week) it wouldn't necessarily raise any red flags to me as a ballet instructor.

When I was younger I did develop an eating disorder. I was about 16 years old I was training in an Academy program that is also linked to a very prestigious national company. I was dancing a lot, and was very young and naive I was also very impressionable. I was in a class of my peers who were also in the same stages of their careers and life. We talked a lot about weight and how we looked. Comments would always be made that our instructor liked the skinniest dancers the best. We would always talk about what we ate, how much we ate, it started becoming like a competition in a way...who was eating the least and losing the most weight... It started off slow, skipping meals, increasing my working out at home, and I started losing weight. When I first started the process I was still eating, but I wanted to be a vegetarian because I thought it would be healthier. So I begged my mom to take me to special health food stores and let me pick the food I wanted to eat. I lost weight probably dropped to about 105 pounds. I felt good at that weight, but the girls in my class were still "skinnier" than me when I looked at all of us lined up in the mirror. So I decided well, I guess I can't lose as much weight as I thought being a vegetarian so I should eat FEWER meals and calories.

At the worst of my eating disorder I would eat an apple for breakfast, carrots for lunch, and would try to avoid dinner at all costs. If I ate foods that weren't "acceptable" or if I had a "binge" I would abuse laxatives. I think the signs were there that something was wrong. I was always in my room (my bedroom had a private bathroom attached) and would go in there and weigh myself every hour. I would rearrange the kitchen to put all the unhealthy things on the top shelf or hide them so I wouldn't be tempted to eat them. I never wanted to eat in front of anyone. If I was forced to have a family dinner, I'd just push the food around my plate or try to spit it out in a napkin.

I dropped to about 95 pounds...way under weight. I couldn't sustain all the dancing, and abusing my body. I grew increasingly weaker and had to stop dancing when I was 19 to get healthy again. At 19 I should have been auditioning for companies, but instead I had to close the book on my dream and get healthy. Luckily I was able to get healthy and have had a 9 year professional streak, but I think my best dancing years were spent not dancing.

I share my personal story, in hopes to give you some signs of what a really severe eating disorder might look like so perhaps you can observe your daughter's behaviors, and if she is showing any of these behaviors it should be a red flag. I wouldn't try to 'force' any changes or 'make' your daughter do anything, because it could have a negative effect. Any time I would be 'forced' to eat something, I would abuse double the laxatives than I normally would I'd also, often times, scratch myself and physically abuse my body because of my lack of "self-control"...

The ballet world right now is changing and there are many premier dancers who showing more muscular bodies: Misty Copeland, Marianela Nunez, Gillian Murphy etc and dancers are more open now about ballet and their bodies.

Here are a few interview articles. Maybe just share them with your daughter. Each of these articles mention body image and how these dancers struggled but over came those issues in a healthy way...both of who are some of the top names in ballet! I think sharing these types of articles with her (and maybe not on the premise of 'oh look these ballerinas eat' but rather 'hey I found this cool article on your favorite dancer, have you read it?' Would be beneficial.

Marianela Nunez Interview: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/theatre/dance/11327851/Marianela-Nunez-The-biggest-myth-about-dancers-is-that-we-dont-eat.-Im-always-eating.html

Misty Copeland Interview: http://www.teenvogue.com/my-life/profiles/2014-02/misty-copeland-ballerina/?slide=1

Misty Copeland Interview: http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/09/22/unlikely-ballerina

I think body image is always a struggle for dancers...even me, I still have my days where I feel 'fat' and it's hard to over come that feeling, especially when you're forced to wear a leotard all day. But at the end of the day, I've learned that food isn't the enemy. I have a blog online that I use to share fitness/recipes and workouts for dancers. It's just a fun hobby of mine (it's pretty new just started it last year). I do it for myself because I still have my own fitness goals that I want to accomplish- http://fitterinaballerina.wordpress.com but I do have a note on there to struggling dancers. I've shared some of my favorite recipes and things too.

My food diary is also public, if you go back to 2013 and 2014 I was logging the most and dancing a lot, it might give you an idea of some fun snacks, how much I was eating to sustain my work load etc...

If you have any other questions or concerns please don't hesitate to message me on here.

I hope this helps!

Springfield1970

Thanks for sharing that! You must burn 400-500 cals an hour training. On a long day that's 3-4-5000!

Lissa_Kaye

A dish I love making that stores well and reheats fast in quinoa. I cook it in a little rice cooker, and after it is done I add a tbs of raw olive oil per dry cup of quinoa, 1 tsp knorr granulated chicken stock and some ground dried rosemary. It only takes 30 seconds to nuke a serving in the microwave and you can add scrambled eggs for protein for a morning dish. I also love to throw in diced onion and other veggies. Maybe other good carbs like some oatmeal. Some gram and go banana and oatmeal muffins, or pancakes. You can cook em up and freeze em in batches.

jstarman18

I don't believe that if the doctor said she needed to gain weight that she does. However, of course, she does need to be eating regularly. At least snacks on the go, and meals when at home. Especially if her intent is to be a competitive dancer. 104 lbs for 5'3", being muscular with a dancers figure is healthy, I believe. I wouldn't be too worried about putting on weight, as much as just eating regularly. Also if she needs something really on the go take a shake. (Haha rhymes) anyways, I find that a protein shake ( very simple, just powder and water) will fill me up enough on a busy day to give me enough energy to get through it.

JoRocka

1.) if the doctor says she's fine. she's probably fine.
2.) definitely don't make a scene about calories
3.) she's probably just doing more cardio- which means she probably dropped some body fat.
4.) at 5'3"- 104- she's definitely lean- but in my reference brain- my bestie is 5'5" and 125- so to me- while she might be lean- it still seems like a normal size.
5.) she may NEED 3000 calories a day- she's young and busy.

Banana's and cookies- always a win with dancers
I'd switch from any low fat to full fat products and try these also- they are super tasty- and get the job done for on the go kids and don't make you feel super full
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/chocolate-protein-balls/

I don't add the chia/flax seed- just oats- PB- honey- chocolate - whey and some craises (because why not)- easy and they keep well in the fridge for a long while.
She might like them.

Good luck- I honestly wouldn't go ape as long as the doctor thinks she's manageable, just make sure there are lots of snacks and she's getting variety of foods and plenty o snacks.