Why am I so negative??

Seeyoubabyweight

I started this with a long term goal of 20lbs off, and simple daily goal of logging and being under. Deciding I would be happy with a 3lb/month average.

I have gone nearly 20 straight days logging AND being under my calorie goal. Since I switched up my eating habits to healthy choices over junk I don't feel hungry or bloated. I try to keep myself off the scale for all but one day/week. That was this past Wednesday and I am down 6lbs since starting. My husband has been telling me all week to go buy new jeans as mine are all getting way to baggy so I'm losing inches too.

I am well on my way to all my weight related goals. Yet I can't feel happy I wake each day thinking, I bet I'll hit my plateau this week. 6lbs is my max I'm sure of it. I don't know why but its bringing me down. Heck I even know since I rarely exercise I already plan to do all I can to add more into my routine when I do hit my plateau, yet I still can't stop stressing about it.

The only explanation I can think of is if I drop another 4/5lbs I will be the lowest I've been in 7years...that and I am preparing myself for failure despite everything I see.

Not sure what I'm looking for, maybe getting it off my chest. Looking for others who struggle the same?

Springfield1970

It's very hard being positive in life when you're on a food deficit. I find I'm not as bubbly or positive, so I keep the deficit as small as possible so others around me don't have to suffer too much! Be watchful for any feelings or thoughts that make you uncomfortable. FORCE yourself to think of something else or switch tracks. You will find it hard at first, but it will help you get stronger for the challenges ahead of you with food and life generally.

I have to do this a lot! I'm a worrier and obsessive, so I'm constantly switching thoughts around.

Rise to the challenge you've set yourself. Loads of people gave taken control of their lives on here and are so happy, it's within reach, just ignore the little monkey in your brain.

aylajane

Many, many people live their life with negative thoughts even though they appear happy to everyone else. We treat ourselves way worse than we do anyone else, and we treat ourselves in ways we would never allow someone else to treat us.

Perhaps it is time to turn your view around. Do you have kids? Would you ever prep them to fail like that? If they try out for the soccer team and practice every day would you say "Yeah, but you know no matter how much you practice someone else is always going to be better than you" ? No, you wouldn't. You would be their best cheerleader.

Its time to treat yourself like you would someone else. Pretend it is your best friend trying to do the same thing you are (enlist your best friend if you can to help with this!). What would you say to her to keep her spirits up? Everything you say to yourself, imagine you are saying it to her instead - would you really say that to her?!

I am a big believer in "fake it til you make it". I was having a hard time refusing food from relatives who are huge food pushers. So I started automatically saying "No thank you, I'm not hungry" even though I would have loved to shove every bite in my face. I made it an automatic response so there was no thought or "maybe this one time". You know what? After awhile it became true - I really *wasnt* hungry!

Come up with some new words you would say to a friend in the same situation to encourage her, and start repeating them to yourself. If nothing else, it frees your mind up (have you ever thought about how much brain space it takes to be negative all the time? ) Those thoughts take up a lot of room and time and energy - it is amazing what you can do if you free up that time and energy to do something else. But if you repeat something long enough, you start to believe it - and that is the real win.

THere is a saying that we have two wolves inside us - one good, one evil... which one wins? The one you feed.... You are feeding the wrong wolf!

Springfield1970

I have food pushers around me too. I'm a terrible liar but I found saying "no thanks, I've just eaten" stops them in their tracks. It's only natural for people to want to enjoy food together, but if you have overweight foodies around you, they are going to try and get in your way, it's human nature.

aylajane

Springfield1970 wrote: »

I have food pushers around me too. I'm a terrible liar but I found saying "no thanks, I've just eaten" stops them in their tracks. It's only natural for people to want to enjoy food together, but if you have overweight foodies around you, they are going to try and get in your way, it's human nature.

That is a good one too

My brother is probably the absolute worst food pusher ever... And he is not overweight! I swear, in the middle of saying "No..." when your mouth makes the "o" shape, he actually shoves the bite in your mouth. I have learned that while saying "No thank you" I also have to back up at the same time !!!

millionairesstv

try to stop being so hard on yourself. you can try listening to subliminal videos on positive free on you tube.
By the way congratulations on your weight loss.

Cortneyrenee04

I definitely know what you're talking about. For me, those thoughts are ways to prepare myself for failure so I won't be so upset if I do fall short of my goals.

I agree with just being aware of those thoughts and stopping them in their tracks. Just think about something else and eventually they won't be as frequent.

Just wanted to note that you don't need to be under your goal each day, you should strive to reach your goal.

boniekatie

Experts say you should visualize yourself accomplishing your goal. Set yourself up to succeed, not to fail. Worry is negative goal setting. By thinking about what you're worried about you are telling your subconscious that is what you want.

Write out positive statements about accomplishing your goals and whenever you find your mind drifting to those negative thoughts, pull out your cards and read over them until you believe them instead of the negative ideas.

You can do this. Like someone else said you need to become your own cheerleader.

arditarose

I actually think that besides being afraid of the plateau you have a great mindset. 3 pounds a month is wonderful. Just try to live in the moment. You're doing everything right. The time flies too, and before you know it you'll be at goal. And yeah, maybe there will be struggles along the way but there are always things you can fix in your diet to get over the humps.

Take it from someone who is not a ray of sunshine.

JPW1990

Seeyoubabyweight wrote: »

I started this with a long term goal of 20lbs off, and simple daily goal of logging and being under. Deciding I would be happy with a 3lb/month average.

I have gone nearly 20 straight days logging AND being under my calorie goal. Since I switched up my eating habits to healthy choices over junk I don't feel hungry or bloated. I try to keep myself off the scale for all but one day/week. That was this past Wednesday and I am down 6lbs since starting. My husband has been telling me all week to go buy new jeans as mine are all getting way to baggy so I'm losing inches too.

I am well on my way to all my weight related goals. Yet I can't feel happy I wake each day thinking, I bet I'll hit my plateau this week. 6lbs is my max I'm sure of it. I don't know why but its bringing me down. Heck I even know since I rarely exercise I already plan to do all I can to add more into my routine when I do hit my plateau, yet I still can't stop stressing about it.

The only explanation I can think of is if I drop another 4/5lbs I will be the lowest I've been in 7years...that and I am preparing myself for failure despite everything I see.

Not sure what I'm looking for, maybe getting it off my chest. Looking for others who struggle the same?

I have absolutely been there. I have a medical condition that causes me to retain massive amounts of water, to the point we had a new wedding ring made out of something that's easier to cut off in case it becomes necessary - it's a size bigger than I should need, and some days it's too tight. Most of last year I was plateau'd. The number would fluctuate 5-8 lbs/day, but it never dropped below it.

Last month I had some really bad days, healthwise, and decided to just start from scratch. The closer I got to the plateau number, the moodier I became. Last week, I broke it. The next day, I was 4 lbs above it again. Today is the first time since that I've gone below it again. I'll count that as broken, but I'm not elated over the moon, just relieved.

You have the right idea already, if it happens again, just change a little thing here or there to see what helps. I took the advice of "wait it out, it's normal," and I agree with it to a point, but I do wish I'd done something about it sooner than I did. Two-three month plateau, I can accept that, 11 month, not so much.

dougpconnell219

Focus on the process, for its own sake, rather than the result.

I am eating better and exercising because it is healthy. Weight loss is just a side effect.

Also, try to find an exercise activity you enjoy, that you actually look forward to, rather than just the hamster wheel. Those gains (so much further or faster than yesterday) are uplifting too.

For me, both times I have lost significant weight, it just took me getting sick of the way I was living. My mind just quickly adjusted to "I am thin and healthy now " and the body will follow suit to match.

But you have to stop telling yourself you will fail. It is a self fulfilling prophecy. You will get what you expect out of life, nothing more.

Maybe a short term stint on an antidepressant would be helpful.

Maybe set a goal for way out. Buy a small, sexy dress that you currently can't fit in. Hang it in your room. It will help you visualize success rather than failure.

Get someone with photoshop skills to make a pic of skinny you in a bikini on a beach. Hang it on your mirror. Even book the trip for next year and buy the bikini. Again, helps visualize success.

And tell the food pushers and naysayers that you are doing this. They can either get on board, or get out of your life. If you can get someone to make the journey with you, that helps add some accountability.

Anyway, this process isn't magic, or rocket science. You can do this. It is merely a question of will, and belief. If you tell yourself you can't, you are right every single time.

Good luck!

I_Will_End_You

Would it help to know plateaus aren't a real thing? It just means you're no longer in a calorie deficit. So if you "plateau" just eat a little less and/or move a little more. The less you weigh, the less calories you need, so it can be a bit more difficult to create a deficit.

TimothyFish

Research shows that people who exercise on a regular basis feel better about themselves than people who don't.

Springfield1970

I_Will_End_You wrote: »

Would it help to know plateaus aren't a real thing? It just means you're no longer in a calorie deficit. So if you "plateau" just eat a little less and/or move a little more. The less you weigh, the less calories you need, so it can be a bit more difficult to create a deficit.

On every cut I've been on, ive plateaud after the first week until the fifth or sixth week, then BAM my weight is back down to what it should be. It drives me mad and has caused me to overcut and lose muscle. I researched it and came up with Lyle MacDonalds theory about fat cells releasing fat, then retaining water for a few weeks then suddenly releasing. It may be wrong, but it seems so right!

Also, OP. Don't come under calorie goal. You will go crazy and binge! Keep it steady!

Seeyoubabyweight

Thanks, I am trying to keep positive. I'm avoiding the scale until the 1st and really I lost my 3lb goal within the first two weeks, so even if I did plateau this round I've still come ahead.

I like the bikini or such plan and really it's the reason I started this journey. My hubby and I are taking a belated honeymoon to Mexico in July, so I'm trying to feel decent about myself before we get there.

For those worried about my under calorie count, it's my way of seeing the positive. I've set my goals at .5lbs/week and lightly active. That way I am allowed more calories, but often don't need them. Majority of the time I'm between 1200-1300/day.