I'm not new here.
puckit61
Posts: 112 Member
So, I've been part of MFP for probably going on three ish years now. It has been the reason why I lost the weight I did. This is going to turn into a rant, and I apologize for that now. It's been an rough ride, I'm not going to lie. I've come far, so far that I was 5 pounds from reaching my goal last summer. I was running every other morning, increasing distance and decreasing time each day. The average person would think I was doing good.
Mentally I was unhappy with myself. I felt I looked as fat as I did 30+ pounds earlier. I think part of that could be attributed to losing two pounds a week I didn't physically see change because I was losing it gradually and healthily. I didn't see a difference and I didn't think anyone else did either. I work(ed) in our University's dining department. My day was spent seeing people eat what they want, as much as they want without consequence. I got jealous. My schedule changed and I worked earlier in the morning, I didn't want to wake up at 4 am just to run. I began working 50+ hours a week. The emotions bottle up and like the typical girl I began eating my feelings.
Summer ended and classes started. I was doing 18 credit hours a week in classes and continued working 32+ hours a week. I got a boyfriend. I didn't have time and didn't take the effort to count my calories. The free time I had was spent on the phone with him and doing homework. I like food, I like to eat, I had a guy who "loved" me. I was content. Gradually or not so gradually, (depending on how you look at it,) I gained 20 pounds back. That's right, I lost 60 pounds between my freshman, sophomore, and junior years, gained a senior 20.
My size ten jeans don't fit anymore and my size 12's are getting too snug. I don't live on campus anymore so I don't need a meal plan and can cook my own food in my own place. The measuring and weighing has recommenced! I have a FGL concert & wedding I'm part of in June. I want to weigh 160's again. I think I'm motivated, I do good for a few days, then I let the feelings over take me again and I binge eat crap. Yes, binge eating is a huge problem for me.
I currently work 52 hours a week and am a part time student. I know if I don't enter my numbers in MFP and just eat healthy food, it just doesn't work. I have no self control and I don't feel full no matter how much I eat. Yes, it's probably a psychological thing.
Why am I writing this post? I need friends. I don't need someone to hold me accountable, I don't need someone to tell me I'm doing a good job. I think both of those things are are something I need to do myself. What I do need is an active newsfeed. People who are going through the same things I am so I don't feel alone. To tell you a little about myself non-weight related- I'm 22, Hockey is my favorite sport, I enjoy eating peanut butter, cookie dough, and binge watching netflix.
If you're willing to assist me in filling my newsfeed, Please feel free to send a request. Enclose a fun message, (because yes, I'm needy
.)
Also, to help you know what you're dealing with I've enclosed pictures of me at both my fattest and lightest weights.
Mentally I was unhappy with myself. I felt I looked as fat as I did 30+ pounds earlier. I think part of that could be attributed to losing two pounds a week I didn't physically see change because I was losing it gradually and healthily. I didn't see a difference and I didn't think anyone else did either. I work(ed) in our University's dining department. My day was spent seeing people eat what they want, as much as they want without consequence. I got jealous. My schedule changed and I worked earlier in the morning, I didn't want to wake up at 4 am just to run. I began working 50+ hours a week. The emotions bottle up and like the typical girl I began eating my feelings.
Summer ended and classes started. I was doing 18 credit hours a week in classes and continued working 32+ hours a week. I got a boyfriend. I didn't have time and didn't take the effort to count my calories. The free time I had was spent on the phone with him and doing homework. I like food, I like to eat, I had a guy who "loved" me. I was content. Gradually or not so gradually, (depending on how you look at it,) I gained 20 pounds back. That's right, I lost 60 pounds between my freshman, sophomore, and junior years, gained a senior 20.
My size ten jeans don't fit anymore and my size 12's are getting too snug. I don't live on campus anymore so I don't need a meal plan and can cook my own food in my own place. The measuring and weighing has recommenced! I have a FGL concert & wedding I'm part of in June. I want to weigh 160's again. I think I'm motivated, I do good for a few days, then I let the feelings over take me again and I binge eat crap. Yes, binge eating is a huge problem for me.
I currently work 52 hours a week and am a part time student. I know if I don't enter my numbers in MFP and just eat healthy food, it just doesn't work. I have no self control and I don't feel full no matter how much I eat. Yes, it's probably a psychological thing.
Why am I writing this post? I need friends. I don't need someone to hold me accountable, I don't need someone to tell me I'm doing a good job. I think both of those things are are something I need to do myself. What I do need is an active newsfeed. People who are going through the same things I am so I don't feel alone. To tell you a little about myself non-weight related- I'm 22, Hockey is my favorite sport, I enjoy eating peanut butter, cookie dough, and binge watching netflix.
If you're willing to assist me in filling my newsfeed, Please feel free to send a request. Enclose a fun message, (because yes, I'm needy
.)Also, to help you know what you're dealing with I've enclosed pictures of me at both my fattest and lightest weights.
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Replies
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You are simply beautiful and you can do it -- congrats on facing the 20 pounds and still being in love, in school and having a life -- you can do it -- I'm with you every step of the way -- go for it -- and can't wait to see the next picture you take --0
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And if you need a splash of cold water -- I started at 112 and am now 217 -- so if you don't stop now -- one day you will wake up, see this person in the mirror and wonder who it is and how you got there -- inwardly you will know you are beautiful, smart and loved but the mirror and the scale will scream at you to take an action, do it now before you become me and have to loose half yourself --- is that what you needed to stay on track --0
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I will do my best to clutter up your news feed. Lol
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ellaraenae1 wrote: »You are simply beautiful and you can do it -- congrats on facing the 20 pounds and still being in love, in school and having a life -- you can do it -- I'm with you every step of the way -- go for it -- and can't wait to see the next picture you take --
Thanks for the encouraging words! I'm no longer with him. but we're friends so it's all good.0
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