Binge Eating Disorder

jdt242

Firstly, I understand that this site is not a replacement for any form of therapy/doctors advice etc. Please don't tell me I need help. I am aware of my situation and am making progress.

I am wondering if there are others on this board who suffer with BED and if you do, whether you would like to discuss it? I need to talk to someone about it and do not want to speak to family/friends at this stage.

I have a BMI of around 23.5/24 so am not overweight as such but my relationship with food is excessive and extreme. I am an emotional eater. I have read various self help books. One in particular encourages monitoring times of meals, as opposed to content and therefore I thought I could use MFP, but I get caught up in the numbers. When I eat healthily/exercise it always comes back to numbers and I fall - hard.

Am I depressed? I don't think so. Bored - yes. Lonely - yes. Stressed - yes. Emotional - yes. But on the whole, I am not depressed.

I had booked a doctors appointment to see my GP in December. After seeing him for an unrelated matter shortly before the appointment, I decided he wasn't the right person to speak to and cancelled the appointment.

How many people take binge eating seriously?! It seems so lame. So out-of-control. Weak.

It is driving me to feel very sad, but I can't work out if I eat because I'm bored/alone or vice versa. My baby-having days are behind me - so I don't even have an excuse for a flabby belly and wobbly thighs. I am in my 30's. I should be at my best. At least that is what I imagined for myself.

I have a problem - and I need a friend - even if only virtual - who understands.

willowtvo

dear JDT, I'm so sorry to hear how you are feeling. I'm going to be really direct with you and I hope that is OK. I believe that what you have is a serious emotional and mental health issue, not just an issue with food, and it's origins are likely to spring from some seriously tough experiences in your early life and/or family. This is not about blame - all parents do the best they can with the resources they have but sadly often they don't have many, however loving they may be. You are categorically not lame or weak. On the contrary, you found a way to adapt to life and survive emotionally, and you should be proud of that. But that adaptation doesn't work for you anymore and changing it is possible. Books are all well and good, but you are alone with them. I am a psychotherapist and I really encourage you to seek out some support with counselling or therapy to help you address, with the support of a non-judgemental person who really understands, the background to all this - and break the patterns of sadness. I know it can be pricey, but you could try your GP, or google low cost services in your area. Meanwhile, if you can, please try to have some compassion for the part of you that is hurting and stop calling her names. Many people suffer this way - you wouldn't dismiss or attack it if you changed the word food for alcohol, or crack... You are not alone and you don't have to deal with this alone either. I wish you the best of health and happiness, and maybe even a family of your own too - you're not too old. Love, willowX

auddii

Your GP is likely not the person you need to talk to, especially if you don't feel comfortable. You would likely do better seeking out a therapist who specializes in eating disorders.

I go through cycles where I binge, but I'm typically able to control it through distraction (usually, I go to the gym during my prime binging times). I also had more problems when I lived alone because I was more lonely and bored.

Getting out of the house helps me because I'm more distracted. I hate shopping, so I'll go on a walk and just spend some time in nature because that's what I enjoy. That gives the added benefit of some extra exercise as well.

I definitely don't have all the answers as it's something I still struggle with. But good luck.