I need help so desperately...

anawhatsme

For the past 3 weeks or so, I've been gaining. Eating mass amounts of garbage and steadily gaining. I have officially hit my highest weight ever. The end of November was supposed to be the beginning of me getting fit and healthy, but here I am, 2 months later and I'm fatter than ever.

I'm angry, frustrated, sad, and disgusted. What the hell is my problem? WHAT??!! I want to scream. I want to cry. I know what to do to get healthy, I just don't do it. WHY???!!!

I'm so angry at myself.

I registered for a 4 week community program that focuses on changing bad habits and getting healthy. I figured at the very least it would be positive to get so far out of my comfort zone and attend a class with a bunch of strangers (super intimidating for me). Well I got a call a couple days ago that it was cancelled due to lack of interest. SOO disappointing.

Anyway - nothing more to say. I just came here hoping to find some kind of support.

RodaRose

Start walking. If the weather does not work for you, do exercises on youtube. Sometimes when you get moving you can then deal with the food issues later.

kateraichu

Hey, don't fret. It's never too late to start again.

I feel this way a lot, actually. I'll be eating spoonful after spoonful of peanut butter, and just think to myself, "Why can't I stop? I know I'm self sabotaging right now." But it happens anyway.

The only thing I can think of is that lately I've begun a reward system with myself. It helps a lot. Here's the plan: If I get down to my first goal of 110 (I'm super short, don't worry) then I get to buy myself a facial at a spa. I remind myself that I'm so looking forward to getting that facial, and I think about it every time I am about to eat something bad. It's rewarding myself with something other than food and gives me something to look forward to.

Please be happy. Don't beat yourself up. Everything will be okay.

nurse3794

Change can not happen until we take action, and until you are ready, seriously ready to enter the journey of getting fit and healthy................. I know this well. I manage depression and allowed self pity to give me an excuse to keep packing on the pounds.. then 3 weeks ago I had a revelation..... no one is going to do this work for me... I need to do it for me, for the right reasons. You can do this!!! You need to have confidence in yourself and practice self discipline. Think and talk positively, set goals...small at first.................. You can do this and I will support you anyway I can, trust me if I can do this anyone can. Feel free to add me !!

goldthistime

RodaRose wrote: »

Start walking. If the weather does not work for you, do exercises on youtube. Sometimes when you get moving you can then deal with the food issues later.

I like this advice. I've done something like this before. Exercised for a few months and started feeling better before I tried for a calorie deficit.

On the other hand, one of the coolest things about MFP is that you can track so accurately that you can work towards a teeny tiny deficit.

One other thing I want to mention is that if you change nothing else about your diet, consider upping your protein considerably to get rid of the cravings.

Wish you good luck anawhatsme.

MynameisJerryB

Try taking baby steps, don't just try to change everything at once. Slowly over time decrease your calorie intake and increase your activity. I think you are trying to do to much at once and your brain and body arn't in sync.

musicandarts

Stay positive. The next try might be your successful one. As you have not revealed much about your patterns, it is difficult to give good suggestions. Can you remove all food from your work place? If you are home, can you spend more time in the library etc? Taking you away from direct contact with food may help. In my early stages, I had to lock all food (cupboards, fridge etc) and give the key to my wife. I know, this is harsh. But desperate medicines for desperate illnesses!

anawhatsme

Thanks for the advice everyone. I appreciate it so much.
I have had issues with food since I was a child. I always over eat foods I enjoy and I eat way too many unhealthy things.
From past experience, I know if I can get a healthy week in, I am good at making more positive choices. But right now, I'm in such a rut that I never seem to want to say no to junk. I don't get it. What is wrong with me? It really feels like I physically cannot get a grip on this.
I see a photo of myself and I just cringe - then feel bad about myself. But I still continue eating poorly.
I like the idea of focusing on exercise and seeing if the eating will follow. I can do that.

Cortneyrenee04

anawhatsme wrote: »

Thanks for the advice everyone. I appreciate it so much.
I have had issues with food since I was a child. I always over eat foods I enjoy and I eat way too many unhealthy things.
From past experience, I know if I can get a healthy week in, I am good at making more positive choices. But right now, I'm in such a rut that I never seem to want to say no to junk. I don't get it. What is wrong with me? It really feels like I physically cannot get a grip on this.
I see a photo of myself and I just cringe - then feel bad about myself. But I still continue eating poorly.
I like the idea of focusing on exercise and seeing if the eating will follow. I can do that.

It's hard to tell ourselves no... It takes practice to eat until satisfied, not stuffed, or to make lots of good choices. Once you start to say no to your binges, it will get easier and you'll realize you ARE in control. Just do it one day at a time. One meal at a time!

jenmovies

Ask yourself if what you are doing is honoring yourself? Obviously the junk food etc makes you feel horrible, and has awful results. Don't buy it. Don't keep it in the house. Recognise your 'trigger moods and foods'. When you reach for bad stuff, or think about going to a fast food place, just repeat the word "HONOR".

I struggle every day, but it's a mental battle. Eating well and exercising is actually easy. It's the daily self-hate, the "I can't be bothered caring" attitude that is defeating us. Don't let your mind trick you into thinking you don't deserve to be healthy, and fit. You are the only person to blame for your situation, but you CAN change. It has taken me years to finally fix my food intake. Becoming vegetarian helped me because it means I can't eat most fast food! It also means I think about every single thing I put in my mouth, carefully. This small hesitation allows me to not binge.

So, here are some ideas that work for me: prepare meals for the week, keep meals in small ready-to-go portions, do not buy or keep trigger foods (the things you cannot resist), don't blindly reach for food before asking if it fits in with your goals, if you are honoring yourself and if maybe you are just thirsty first! One thing I do is add my food and drink for the day ahead of time, to see what I can wiggle around. I don't deny myself most things, just try to stay under calorie goal. I negotiate with myself too! If I know I'm going out to dinner with friends, I will work out more that day.

Very important: DO NOT USE FOOD OR DRINK (incl. alcohol) AS A REWARD OR TREAT. Do just about anything else that you enjoy. This horrible habit is what got me into this situation. My Mom used to use candy bars, McDonald's and ice cream as special treats. Once per week for most, fast food once per year! So of course now I'm an adult and I can have those things any time I like, what do you think I want? I am unlearning this, and you can to. You can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just pick tiny goals, one day at a time, and do your best! Don't put too much pressure on yourself, and make sure you are HONORING yourself too. Everyone is worthy of at least that.

Oh and the MFP forums are so great. Find someone roughly your height who matches your weight loss goal for support, and check out the success stories! JUST KEEP SWIMMIN'.

palwithme

There is nothing wrong with you. Don't ever think that.

sugargrammy45

May I suggest that before you try anything, learn to not be so hard on yourself. Your self-condemnation (just like mine or anyone's) leads to further frustration and eating. What you are going through is normal, but a change in how you think about yourself will help tremendously in being able to take the next step. You did right by asking for support. Wishing you the best . . .

anawhatsme

Wow! Such great and helpful messages!! Thank you to all of you. I really needed what you all offered and I am so thankful for your responses. I'm going to read your messages again in the morning and I will work toward a positive and healthy day. Thanks again, it means so much!

YumiZoomi

Just like you, I know what to do to get fit and healthy. Except, like you, I like to eat all the bad stuff and way too much of it. Time and time I've tried to start healthy. But I always fell off after a week or two OR I'd psych myself out telling myself I'm starting tomorrow so I'll eat all the bad stuff one more time and by the next day, I feel so guilty I give up before trying.

What REALLY did the trick.. was detoxing. I've done fasting detoxes like the lemonade diet before and that was VERY difficult but it did work to jump starting me into healthy eating. However, I didn't have a workout routine set and I wasn't really mentally motivated to keep it up.

I'd like to think losing 5-10lbs quickly gives anyone motivation to keep going. I got this 5-10lb result from doing the green smoothie detox I saw on pinterest (lol). I did it for 7 days and I didn't have to starve. I also walked an hour a day during those 7 days. I dropped 5lbs. Instantly, I was motivated to keep it up. So I started eating healthier, especially since I cleaned myself out, and I dedicated 30mins, no more no less, exactly 30mins a day to interval training (fast run 1minute, slow walk 1minute). A month later I'm down 20lbs.

I'm now trying to incorporate weights so we'll see if I continue to get results, but the overall message I'd like to give you is that maybe you might benefit from an easy going detox program for a week. Your cravings for bad foods will become manageable if not completely disappear and you'll get a motivational quick weight drop to hopefully keep you going. But don't give up on trying. If you start and quit, start again. Keep starting again until you keep it going.