Lost family/friends cuz you got skinny?

DayByDayGetStronger

It's been 5 years since I started my weight management path and I'm just wondering if anyone is having the same experience:

Slowly over the past 5 years my sisters especially have pretty much dropped off the planet and ditched the once solid relationship with me. One is very overweight still (about the same size as my starting weight) and the other has always been the thinner sister, but over the years she has put on some junk in her trunk.

Both have successfully lost weight in the past 30-40lbs each via Weight Watchers and I was their biggest cheerleaders even though I was still the fattest sister and very jealous that they were successful in their weight loss endeavors and I always failed. I was the one who had made the most attempts since I was 10 years old. Both of them encouraged me to give Weight Watchers one more try and they would support me. I wasn't really ready at the time and even though I hated myself that I couldn't be successful at weight loss and they were, I was still there for them in their victories. Both have gained their weight back...and then some.

Now the fattest sister is no longer wearing that label and the other 2 don't want to share in my victories. I've lost 80lbs and am maintaining it and have needed plastic surgery to remove some really flabby residual skin to mainly fit better into clothes and feel better about my body. Neither one has been supportive in my recovery of these very difficult procedures. Not one card, not one flower, and both live within 20 minutes of where I am and are stay-at-home mom's with teens. My younger sister called me the night before my most recent surgery (medial thighplasty and breast reduction) to say good luck. It's been 3 weeks filled with nothing but silence.

I have super supportive friends and co-workers and my husband has been nothing but positive and loving. I'm so thankful for them!

What about you? Are people ditching you because you lost weight or changed to a healthier lifestyle? Did your binge buddies stop hanging out with you? Or maybe YOU ditched them.

Would love some feedback..I know I can't be the only one going through this.

Thanks!

bgoddess2003

Wow, so sorry to hear that, I have nothing to add to your story or help you in anyway other than to be supportive. I only understand the lose you feel so deep that unless it happens to you, you wouldn't understand.

Remember you can pick only your friends not your family. I am happy for you losing the weight, you must be feeling healthier so that's a plus.

So sad for your sibling's that they are selfish and can't be happy for anyone especially their own sister. While they stay home eating you might be seeing the world because you can move. Look good, feel good and going places. Don't dwell on them the best you can, stay with the people who are supporting you.

Adc7225

I have lost some friendships, apparently I am on the air and water diet so hanging out with me no longer any fun. I was also the fat friend and I guess they thought my presence overshadowed that they are overweight.

It is sad that while doing something for our own good, mine was for health reasons, those around us only see their shortcomings and not our achievements. I think when we do it the right way (no gimmicks or groups, etc.) it makes it even worse for others when all they see is our self-love and determination and it brings out that green-eyed monster. While this is not always the case, some people just don't know what to do and choose to remove themselves from our lives. While some people change when they lose weight, they get a big head, etc., some of us change because those around us change how they deal with us.

I feel for you that your sisters have turned their backs on you and not been able to put aside their own in insecurities and realize that it really doesn’t matter what size any of us are when it comes to family and friends. Be strong, realize you may have to be the bigger person (in character – not size), in the end you will always remember what matters.

One side effect is that you will probably find a new circle of friends that you can share mutual interest with.