How to Feel Good Enough?

rini4evr

I never thought there was a problem, although I got jealous a lot. Now though it's like any person my other-half is near or looks at or anything, I can't breathe. How am I good enough, pretty enough, etc if I know I need to lose weight? I'm only at the start of my workouts/eating better so it'll take awhile, but how do I hang on when it's like I compare myself EVEN MORE now?

AlongCame_Molly

This makes no sense. Are you drunk?

ETA: Seriously not trying to be mean. But you sound inebriated.

BenchPressingCats

Don't compare yourself. There will always be somebody prettier, smarter, funnier than you. Always. You have to be the best YOU can be. Find things that are good about you and start to love yourself for those things. If there's something you don't like about yourself, change it if you can (but only for you, never for another person) if you can't change it, learn to live with it. The trick is to be patient with yourself, you're not going to lose weight overnight. Just find a way to love yourself now so you will love yourself when you're at your goal weight.

ItsCasey

Get a handle on this thing you're doing, getting pissed at your "other half" for glancing in the general direction of another woman. Keep it up and he's going to disappear on you, as any sane man would. It is completely normal for a heterosexual male to look at attractive women. It doesn't mean you aren't good enough or pretty enough. It means he's a man.

Secondly, ask yourself if your boyfriend is giving you a reason to believe he doesn't think you're good enough, and answer that question honestly and rationally. If he isn't, you have to get over yourself and be a better girlfriend to him. If he is, you need to rethink your relationship. If I ever found myself with a guy who thought he could do better than me, I'd tell him he was more than welcome to try and that if he managed to find such a woman, I'd like to meet her because she must be pretty freaking awesome.

BinaryPulsar

Maybe when a person is not working on fitness, they are in state of mind in which they are accepting of being out of shape. They don't look or compare, or be critical of themselves because they are choosing not to focus on that.

Then when they begin to work on fitness, they get an idea of what they want their goal body to look like. they also begin to look at others for more information on what "fitness" looks like. And then begin a cycle of comparing, and of being self-critically focused.

Have you always felt "Not good enough". There could be a deeper issue going on. Does it extend to other areas of your life?

Or maybe you just need to accept yourself, continue to work, don't have unrealistic expectations. Compare yourself to yourself and not to others. Your partner loves you and wants you. Every person you look at and compare to has their own struggles in life. No one is perfect, life is not perfect. Find what your strengths are and work with those. It's never a good idea to compare yourself to others because it will impact your ability to make healthy connections with other people.

TheDevastator

Don't compare yourself. There will always be somebody prettier, smarter, funnier than you. Always. You have to be the best YOU can be. Find things that are good about you and start to love yourself for those things. If there's something you don't like about yourself, change it if you can (but only for you, never for another person) if you can't change it, learn to live with it. The trick is to be patient with yourself, you're not going to lose weight overnight. Just find a way to love yourself now so you will love yourself when you're at your goal weight.

I agree with this except for the part where there are people prettier, smarter, funnier than me...