Moderation when you don't live alone

Francl27

No, this isn't the usual 'how can I resist temptation when everyone brings junk?' thread.

What I'm curious about is how people deal with the 'my mom/sister brought a treat and I want to eat it in moderation to make it last but my husband is going to eat it all and I'm not going to have any' issue.

Case in point - I bought some fancier cheese yesterday, as I've found that a serving of cheese and an apple is a very filling snack for me, and I wanted something else than cheddar for a change. I had one ounce... and last night my husband ate the rest of it (yes, the whole thing). Another example, my mom brings home some chocolates, and I have one once in a while, and my husband will just have 5 or 6 in one sitting.

It's pissing me off. Should I just take half and hide it so he doesn't get to it before I can have my share? I mean, sheesh. I have moderation and binge issues as it is (some days), and knowing that I might not get to have more if I only have a piece or two now is tough for me. It's not like it's always things I can just go and get more of (the cheese, I could, but I'm not planning on going back to the supermarket for a few days).

Yes I can talk to him, and I probably will, but I'm not sure it's going to help me psychologically unless I put my share somewhere else (yes, I have issues. If I could find a therapist specialized in eating issues, and my insurance covered it, I'd probably take an appointment, lol).

I can only imagine what it's going to be like when my kids are older...

SuggaD

I've had to hide things because my daughter will eat the entire thing in one sitting. Pisses me off too.

Rien5

I have the same problem with my parents. I'll know a treat will be then not be hungry for it that day. Come back the next day (or a few days later) and it will be gone. I have learned to let it slide because if I had really wanted it I would have taken some. Other times I will label a portion for myself (if all food is co shared becasue I realize that in some instances this isn't going to work).

kirkor

I've had this feeling at work as well, the "I should get some before it's all gone" mentality. It's also struck me at potluck and dinner party-type events, when there's lots of leftovers ... I want to take them all home with me! (so they don't "go to waste") ...

The mental framework I use is that there will always be future opportunities to consumer XYZ.
I try to come at it from an abundance mentality as opposed to a scarcity mentality.

TheVirgoddess

I'd suggest talking to him, and then laying down some rules for everyone.

I have food in the house that's mine, only. If someone wants some - they ask (I'm a good sharer). My kids have their own special food items, too (as does my husband) - and I wouldn't eat some without asking. That's how we've always done it. Most everything is communal, but we each have things we especially enjoy.

And no one in our house finishes food without making sure no one else was saving it for something.

klkarlen

That sort of thing pisses me off too. So I hide it, I have a stash in my home office desk drawer - a bit harder to hide cheese I suppose, but if you put it in an old cottage cheese container (disguise it) you might be able to pull it off.

stealthq

I would take half, and set it aside, but not hide it. Hiding it might send a bad message to hubby. I would talk to hubby and let him know that you want to have your portion, too, but you don't want to eat it all at once.

If he can't respect that, then resort to hiding the food and consider having a talk with him about respecting boundaries.

acheben

In addition to talking to your hubby, you could portion and label your half of the goodies. That way, he still gets to eat his portion but you don't lose out on some tasty cheese or chocolates because he ate your half.

tulips_and_tea

TheVirgoddess wrote: »

I'd suggest talking to him, and then laying down some rules for everyone.

I have food in the house that's mine, only. If someone wants some - they ask (I'm a good sharer). My kids have their own special food items, too (as does my husband) - and I wouldn't eat some without asking. That's how we've always done it. Most everything is communal, but we each have things we especially enjoy.

And no one in our house finishes food without making sure no one else was saving it for something.

This really is the way to go. We did this when all the kids were home, too. My husband has a huge appetite and would eat my food before I'd even get to it sometimes! Was causing much anger and frustration so we just talked about it and compromised until we found a resolution. It is annoying, that's for sure.

jemhh

I would say "hey, I got X at the store today. I'm only having one serving right now but want to have some later in the week so if you eat any, please leave some for me."

If I don't say something like the above, it's fair game to be eaten in its entirety. Not out of spite or being rude. Just because consumables are consumed in our house.

arabianhorselover

I have this problem in my house sometimes, also. If I hid it, I feel guilty, and like I'm slipping into my old behaviors with food.

kathyk519

I usually share everything, and we are all pretty good at portion control, however, if I buy something that I want, and want to have with lunches for the week (for me only) or for the weekend or what have you, I tell them to stay the &*(* away from it.

ruqayyahsmum

We all have our own extras. My daughters underweight and hes on a bulk so they have a selection of higher calorie stuff

I dont mind them having my stuff too but i do expect them to ask if they can have some of mine rather than just take it all

abatonfan

I typically write my name all over containers of food I prepped/purchased/made that I know I will be eating within the week. If a member of my family asks nicely, doesn't eat the entire container, and uses good hygiene when portioning out their food, then I'll gladly share.

Unfortunately, one member of my family is disgusting whenever she eats food (such as eating cut and washed strawberries right out of the container with her hands whenever she complained of having a stomach bug a few hours ago -and most likely did not wash her hands), so I've gotten used to writing my name all over stuff I do not want her to contaminate.

Lounmoun

I would talk to my family members about how we will share the items.
We might portion the items immediately into seperate containers or baggies with our names on them so everyone gets an equal portion.
I have hidden certain items from my dd but not my dh. I would expect my dh to get it with a simple conversation.

obscuremusicreference

The worst is when they're eating your food and complaining about it. "I like cheddar much better than this part-skim mozzarella crap" WELL THERE'S AN UNOPENED BLOCK OF CHEDDAR IN THE FRIDGE, JERKFACE! "Yeah but this was already started."

And then I bought a bag of potato chips, couldn't afford it for about three-four days, and then it was gone

3Alice3

Me, my partner and my daughter all have separate 'treat' boxes in the cupboard haha :P we all generally like different types of food anyways, and we are always willing to share with each other. If there is something in the fridge/freezer that I want at a later date I simply ask my partner to leave me some. Simple

Francl27

Oh he'd leave 'some' if I asked... like half an ounce LOL.

juggernaut1974

Maybe portion out the entire thing (ie - cut the cheese out into 1oz blocks) when you get it. Put each portion in a separate baggie, container, etc.

I'd think a spouse/kid/etc would be less likely to grab 7 separate bags of cheese and eat all of it as opposed to one 7oz block?

beemerphile1

If you have talked about it and his selfish nature won't allow him to show you adequate consideration, you just aren't getting through to him.

Us men are simple beasts but we have managed to learn the art of selective hearing. If you don't get our attention first we won't hear what you say and definitely won't remember. This is true in spite of the fact that we are looking right at you and nodding our head. In reality we are probably thinking about something else entirely like our next meal or the hot chick at work.

I suggest a kick to the gonads to get his attention and then he will listen and remember the next time he is tempted to eat all your favorite snack.

Francl27

beemerphile1 wrote: »

If you have talked about it and his selfish nature won't allow him to show you adequate consideration, you just aren't getting through to him.

Us men are simple beasts but we have managed to learn the art of selective hearing. If you don't get our attention first we won't hear what you say and definitely won't remember. This is true in spite of the fact that we are looking right at you and nodding our head. In reality we are probably thinking about something else entirely like our next meal or the hot chick at work.

I suggest a kick to the gonads to get his attention and then he will listen and remember the next time he is tempted to eat all your favorite snack.

LMAO. Truth spoken from a man. Love it.

kristen6350

Sounds strange, but we have "sides" of the fridge. If a food is on "his" side, it's his, I don't eat it. If a food is on "my" side he doesn't eat it. I tend to weigh things out and put them in tupperware so when I'm out of time and need a snack it takes minutes to put something together (I tend to get hangry A LOT, and need to plan for "attacks"). He knows that if I have taken the time to sort it out and it's on my side if he even takes a bite he's in trouble. I ask him EVERY week what he wants from the grocery store and if he doesn't tell me, he doesn't get anything and he just has to deal.

The system works. It's anal, but it works.

cwolfman13

divvy it up...

Roxiegirl2008

I know where you are coming from. It was made very clear from the beginning don't mess with my food. I even have a "you messed with my food look!" I just say..."eat that at your own risk"

MarziPanda95

Yup, I'd hide it. I live in student accommodation and my flatmates constantly take anything from the fridge even if it's not theirs... so I've learnt to live off things that don't need refrigerating and can be kept in my room. Ceoverturf's idea of portioning it out beforehand seems like a good idea, too.

AbsoluteTara79

We sort these things out when grocery shopping. "Are you going to eat any of this? Should I grab two packages?" Then it's not a criticism, just planning.

Francl27

kristen6350 wrote: »

Sounds strange, but we have "sides" of the fridge. If a food is on "his" side, it's his, I don't eat it. If a food is on "my" side he doesn't eat it. I tend to weigh things out and put them in tupperware so when I'm out of time and need a snack it takes minutes to put something together (I tend to get hangry A LOT, and need to plan for "attacks"). He knows that if I have taken the time to sort it out and it's on my side if he even takes a bite he's in trouble. I ask him EVERY week what he wants from the grocery store and if he doesn't tell me, he doesn't get anything and he just has to deal.

The system works. It's anal, but it works.

Interesting, I can see that word in your last sentence when I quote your post, lol.

I ask him every single time if he needs anything at the store (I'm a SAHM so I typically do the shopping alone when the kids are in school). He typically says no (which drives me nuts, by the way, because he never has any idea of what he wants for dinner either and I'm so sick of having to plan meals for all of us every night...). Then he'll go and eat my cheese (which I only got because it was on sale, and is probably not on sale anymore anyway).

I do have a cupboard with my stuff though (protein bars etc) so when my mom comes and brings more stuff, I'll probably hide half in there... just hard in the fridge (but I do like the idea about hiding it in old containers of stuff, lol). Sometimes I just forget to tell him though, and when I want the stuff, it's gone. Bleh.

vvallentyne

I have the same problem with my guy. He is 6' 3" and I am 5' 4" he works hard all day and I sit at a desk. Our calorie needs are way different so he plows through things and I feel like I am in a race to get any. I have had many a conversation with him and he finally is checking to see if I would like any of a certain item before it the remainder.

vvallentyne

*eating*

ElsaVonMarmalade

We just label or inform if it's something special. I am married to someone who is very proprietary about food - much more so than anyone in my family. I'm used to respecting boundaries now, but I had to get used to a system outside of the "first come first serve" sharing mentality I was raised with. This is one little quirk in an otherwise wonderful and generous person and I don't mind working around it.

Grimmerick

My birthday cake last year my stepson at the last piece and by piece I mean the last 1/4 of the cake, really it was a humongous piece. My hubs was sooo pissed, I was just a little miffed (secretly glad it wasnt' a temptation anymore, but shocked with his lack of common sense about manners) So now our rule is you never eat the last serving of something if you have already had some. This ensures I get at least one share.