very discurraged

elliemay199238

I am starting to feel like ill always be a fat blob... i have been trying so hard to lose weight but i cant ever seem to stock with it because i dont see results. My husband tells me ill always be fat and i would want nothing more then to not be. He says my weight has ruined his life. Hes 160 im like 240 so i can see how hes embarrassed but noones more embedarrased then me. I dont know what to do to anymore.

TiffanyJole

I'm not going to comment on your relationship, because it's your marriage, but as far as your fitness goes, you need to focus on what makes you happy, and what you want. If you want to get healthy and fit, then you should go for it. You didn't put your weight on over night, and your not going to lose it over night. Just keep eating healthy foods, at healthy portions, drinking water, and exercising regularly. You will see results. I thought that I was going to be overweight my whole life, but one day, almost a year ago, I decided that I was tiered of being overweight and unhealthy, so I decided to start being more healthy. I read a post on MyFitnessPal, and it was asking the reader to imagine the best version of themselves, and then it asked the reader to imagine what that "best version of them" did everyday? I ask you the same question, what does the best version of you look like, and what would that person do everyday? Do this for you, you deserve to be the best "you" that you can be!

carmatiz

Try to stay focused and positive. Iv learned that the more i learn about the foods i eat and what i drink has made a big difference. Keeping track of the details. We all have our struggles. You will have your good days and bad. If you have a bad day just shrug it off and keep working. Healthier lifestyle isn't easy by any means. Its definitely worth it. Its baby steps. Once you see a couple pounds here and a couple pounds there. It becomes a addiction. Just try to consistent.

carmatiz

TiffanyJole wrote: »

I'm not going to comment on your relationship, because it's your marriage, but as far as your fitness goes, you need to focus on what makes you happy, and what you want. If you want to get healthy and fit, then you should go for it. You didn't put your weight on over night, and your not going to lose it over night. Just keep eating healthy foods, at healthy portions, drinking water, and exercising regularly. You will see results. I thought that I was going to be overweight my whole life, but one day, almost a year ago, I decided that I was tiered of being overweight and unhealthy, so I decided to start being more healthy. I read a post on MyFitnessPal, and it was asking the reader to imagine the best version of themselves, and then it asked the reader to imagine what that "best version of them" did everyday? I ask you the same question, what does the best version of you look like, and what would that person do everyday? Do this for you, you deserve to be the best "you" that you can be!

This post is awesome.

elliemay199238

Thank you the post were very encurraging

999tigger

elliemay199238 wrote: »

I am starting to feel like ill always be a fat blob... i have been trying so hard to lose weight but i cant ever seem to stock with it because i dont see results. My husband tells me ill always be fat and i would want nothing more then to not be. He says my weight has ruined his life. Hes 160 im like 240 so i can see how hes embarrassed but noones more embedarrased then me. I dont know what to do to anymore.

You are v young. Take a time out amd think anout the bigger picture.

Losing weight is pretty straight forward, so you need to look at and understand whats preventing you from starting and sticking with it.

The straight forward bit is that it requires you to achieve consistent calorific deficits probably by eating less and moving more. If you do that consistently you lose weight. Guaranteed.

It requires you to do some basic things well.
Work out the correct deficit.
Hit the target.
Weigh your food.
Log it all every day.
Do some exercise if you can, walking 5,10, 15 mins a day is a start.
Rinse and repeat.

So this idea of why you think you will always be a fat blob boils down to because you dont think you can do the above. Its not hard and you can do it, just as most people on this site do. You dont have to be perfect, but you do have to stcik with it and make more good choices than bad. You dont have to be a blob forever if you want to lose the weight enough, then you simply make some changes in your lifesyle to lose weight.

Ignore your husband, its not helpful and he would come around once he saw you were making significant progress. For the moment just not listening to his negative comments would help.

So how can you start a diet and stick with it? Here are some tips and I keep posting them.

1. Learn how to do things properly. Knowledge is power and once you understand how weight loss works, then it gives you more confidence about what goes on. You cna make your diet more effective and your ability to stick with it more robust. Start with the sexy pant thread http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants#latest
2. Set your deficit at a level that you can manage. That means not too aggressive, but work your way into finding the correct calorie level you cna live with. The lower the calorie level the more you lose but the less food you get. If you go too low you end up being miserable and binge or quit becayse you cnat stick with it. Consistent sustained small losses are better than a big loss and a quit.


I dont know your full stats but based on a 22 year old female at 240lbs and a complete guess of 5'5", then the maintenance calories are 2278. Rather than trying to lose 2lb a week, try for 1lb until you know you can stick with it. That would give you1778 plus the option to do a bit of exercise to ear more food back.
3. Get some perspective. The fact is losing weight takes time and that losing it too fast can be unhealthy or can lead to people quitting as they give up due to impatience. You must be patient. You didnt out it on overnight and its easier to gain than lose. Lets say you have 100lbs to lose at 1lb a week as a rough estimate then that would be 2 years. Im pointing this out so you understand that its going to be a long journey and you need to prepare yourself for that. Quiting after a few months, is just a tiny fraction of that journey, its a marathon not a sprint, so you need to pace yourself and be ready for a really long trip.
4. Getting the right mindset will help you approach it in the right manner and be consistent. That means a belief you know what to do, a determination that you will do whats needed and that you cna deal with problems.
5. Take babysteps. Whilst I have hinted at it taking many weeks to finish, you then need to turn that on its head and start steadily with small changes. Success breeds success. babysteps will help you by breaking it all down into smaller more manageable tasks that you cna understand and wont seem so overwhelming i.e
Set the correct calorie deficit, log for a week, go for a 5 min walk, buy and use some kitchen scales, record your food for a week. Small easy steps you can do. When you have finished them, then increase, so hit calorie deficit for 3 days etc.

The idea is that if you focus on small achievable things you will gain confidence and gain momentum. If you fall off the wagon you just start again by doing the correct things, so its just treating it one day and one 1lb at a time.

6. To do the above not only will you need knowledge, as well as time spent planning what you should be doing. You will also need to make a decision to take responsibility for your own diet. You go yourself there, but you can help yourself get out.
7. In losing weight you need to make a decision to commit, that means you make a promise to yourself that you understand what you will need to do and you will deal with being consistent as well as some of the more difficult parts of dieting i.e a lot of food you ate without consequence, then you will now have to moderate. Imo if people dont commit, then they wont succeed.
8. Two random ones, which are dont demonise food and be your own best friend.

So back to basics.

You can lose weight and once you start losing it, then it should build your confidence to lose more. If you focus then most decisions will be about whether your choice helps you get closer to your target of being slim or moves you further away. If you really want it then you cna lose all the weight by making simple changes and moving a bit more, but you have to commit.

Good luck and I hope you start and stick with it.

Timshel_

elliemay199238 wrote: »

I dont know what to do to anymore.

Start small with changes you can stick too, and use your internal voice to motivate yourself. Maybe cut out certain foods, or limit yourself in how much you eat. Or maybe add in walking an hour 3 times per week. Once you create that new habit, change another habit to something healthier.

Problem I see is people will abuse their bodies for years and years to become overweight, but want results within months. It all takes consistent changes with good choices made every day, and made for the next year. It WILL happen if you do this.

CapnVillainBLK

Everybody has been nice, but I gotta say it. Your husband is being a jerk for calling you fat, and a drama queen for saying its ruining his life. How does your weight ruin his life? Whatever you do, do it for yourself and not him.

nellysen

lvillani81 wrote: »

Everybody has been nice, but I gotta say it. Your husband is being a jerk for calling you fat, and a drama queen for saying its ruining his life. How does your weight ruin his life? Whatever you do, do it for yourself and not him.

What he said. Remember that it is YOUR journey. Those people who cannot be supportive and helpful in your process do not deserve to enjoy you when you have reached your goals. Just saying...

Good luck! You can do it!

tulips_and_tea

lvillani81 wrote: »

Everybody has been nice, but I gotta say it. Your husband is being a jerk for calling you fat, and a drama queen for saying its ruining his life. How does your weight ruin his life? Whatever you do, do it for yourself and not him.

I agree. Speaking to your spouse that way, someone you are supposed to love, is completely unacceptable. Please get healthy for YOU, OP, and no one else.

And yes, please read and re-read TiffanyJole's post. Excellent advice.

jgnatca

How he going to complain when you start seeing some successes? Will he tell you it is only temporary?

What if you do succeed? Will he credit his power of persuasion for your success?

There is no pleasing some people. I am sure you have many great qualities that are ignored right now because you are so unhappy about your weight.

wizzybeth

I'm sure he is very young as well. I know my husband said things when he was in his early 20s that he would cringe at now.

The best thing you can do Elliemay is to get determined and make sure you are doing this the RIGHT way. Count the calories RELIGIOUSLY and TEDIOUSLY - as if your life depended on being 100% accurate. Don't give up. And don't let your child - I mean husband - discourage you. He's a twerp.

SamanthaL114

I'm sorry but 1/2 the problem is likely your husband and not you. How can you be motivated when your husband is being mean and putting you down?! You need to have a serious talk with him and tell him you need his support to succeed. All he is doing when he puts you down is make you feel like less of a person! And if you feel that way... of course you want to give up! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR HUSBAND!?

sofaking6

When you focus on the number and on the results too much it can become overwhelming. Think instead about the life you want to live. Do you want to live a life where you are feeling shame and sadness and blocking emotions with food? Or do you want to live a life where you are caring for and nurturing your body and your mind?

Imagine yourself six months from now, looking back at all the time that has passed between now and then. How will you feel if you have not put in the effort to be healthier? How will you feel if you HAVE put in the effort? Even if the scale hasn't moved much?

elliemay199238

Again i want to thank all of you for your support and tips ive read ALL of them and i feel a lot better, thanks to all of you whom to the tome to respond.