General Diet help for a "recovering from starvation" person.

MommaDillon

Hi all!

Before I get the lectures (I know I am) please take the time to read my story.
I am a 21 year old woman who has successfully lost her weight the right way, or so I thought.

Before, I had joined MFP when I was at 130lbs so I could get in shape and lose a couple of pounds. I lost my motivation before, and gained even more weight until I was about 145 pounds. Once I had hit that point, I went on another journey to get fit and lose weight but I didn't use MFP to aid me. I signed up for dance classes at my college for one semester, saw that I had lost a couple of pounds and really enjoyed how much in shape I was and I went on to trying out for the dance team and actually made it! During this time, I had cut back on what I usually ate just a little bit but I did still eat.

After this year in college, I had dropped down to 117lbs, which was a little bit more lost than what I wanted but I was overall okay with it.

But here is the scary part.
I used to be outgoing, happy, and anxiety free. But lately, I have been so conflicted with horrible self esteem and anxiety I didn't know what the heck was wrong with me. My boobs are also so much smaller than what they used to be (they are a size A now, which even when I was little back in high school my boobs were not that small.) I started to figure out that I was definitely starving myself due to the excessive amount of dancing that I was doing this pass Spring Semester. On a full day with my tap dancing, ballet, and then dance team practice I would burn about a total of 4,000 calories. (Yes, I was dancing for about six hours on these days.) my diet had barely changed whenever I was inactive, but I didn't think much about it at the time, you know? So I attempted to up my calorie intake by eating more food but I didn't count my calories because I felt like it was kind of unnecessary at the time. Not to mention I had calculated the amount of calories I was burning until around the END of the semester. But I realize i had still burned waaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy many more calories than what I had eaten.

Now that the school semester is over, I lost my appetite because I'm guessing I'm not burning nearly as many calories as I used to. But what I didn't realize is that I was/still am eating way too little than what I am supposed to do. It's as if my sense of "eating three meals a day" has been warped or something, because these three meals barely ever go past 500 - 700 calories a day! And that's on a GOOD day. There has been many times where I have had a stressful day and I barely could eat anything. Not to mention, that after these stressful days, I would have such a hard time actually eating food because it was so painful I'd set down the food and not even attempt to eat it until the next day.

I hate how I look. I hate that my boobs are so small that they look like mosquito bites or fried eggs rather than actual boobs. I want to gain weight so i can be back in the 120 - 125 pound range because right now I am at 114lbs, but I'm terrified that when I do start eating properly again, that alllllll this weight that I feel like I worked so hard to lose will come straight back because of my unintentional starvation.

I'm also terrified that I have damaged my metabolism because of this.

I want to go ahead and fix this problem before it gets any worse. I am NOT this type of person and I would have never allowed myself to get to this point if I had realized I was doing it in the beginning. I read somewhere on here that if we slowly increased our food intake by 100 calories every week then our metabolisms should be able to heal properly versus just jumping into the bandwagon and eating 2000+ calories a day.

But still though, I ate about 1300 calories today and I sort of struggled doing this, sadly.
Is there any advice you guys could give me to help me with this situation? What would be a good diet for someone in a situation like me?

glovepuppet

honestly, i think you need a pro. you'll get a heap of advice from all manner of fools & idiots online.

you've prob'ly depleted your body's reserves to the point where you may have harmed more than your metabolism.

_Zardoz_

Go and see your doctor and get checked out. In reality you need to see professionals over this

MyJourney1960

Hi and i'm glad you are reaching out for help. I agree that you should speak with your doctor and if you are a student , then please contact your mental health clinic and talk to them. Just say what you've been saying here - they will help you.

Good luck and make that call NOW.:flowerforyou:

MommaDillon

See, and that is what I'm exactly scared of! but the good news is that this only started at the beginning of this year, so thankfully it hasn't gone on TOO long. But I am currently trying to fix this.

Thank you all for your help. I will try to see a professional immediately whenever I can afford it. Dat college life you know.

MyJourney1960

hang in there - see if there is a free or sliding scale clinic available to you. meantime, do the best you can